Please Define Destined
by Shade Asylum
Summary: Rachel grew up in New York, and was practically raised by the stage. Santana rose to stardom from a small town with a few pictures and now she's made her way to New York. Future/What If. M for cursing and eventual smut.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is sort of a newer idea. It's like future/what if. Tell me what you think, what I need to work on, what you like. I like criticism and stuff.**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

**Summary: At seven years old Rachel's fathers died in a car crash. Since most of her fathers families had been avoiding them for years Rachel was sent to her mother Shelby in New York. While Shelby struggled to gain her own stardom in New York she couldn't uproot the child who had come into her care. Rachel easily made her way onto the stage.**

**Santana had a relatively normal life in Lima, Ohio, but like everyone there she awaited the day she could get out. Her exit came in the form of a photographer approaching her and suggesting she could make it as a model. Now, as she makes the transition from the pages of magazines to the big screen she's found herself in New York.**

Rachel

I looked out over the audience as I took my final bow, hand in hand with the rest of the cast. The tight pleather pants I wore squeaking lowly and sweat covering my face as I panted slightly. The curtains came closed as the lights on my face faded and I dropped the hands of my costars. I wiped my forehead with my arm and then sighed, my smile relaxing but hardly leaving my face.

"Getting tired of it yet Rach?" My costar, Eric, who played Mark Cohen asked as he passed me.

"Hardly," I grinned.

"Good, you'll need to be awake to hang out with me," the actress playing my love interest, Shay, asked as she pressed against me from behind and slid her arms around my waist.

I smiled and turned around, disappointing the taller woman when all she got was a hug, "And who said I was hanging out with you?"

"Um, my ego?" She made it sound like this shouldn't be the first I'd heard of it.

"You should get that fixed, it's lying to you," I giggled and moved away from her, heading to my dressing room.

In the room I fell to the small couch, now that I was away from the familiarity of my friends and the warmth of the stage, the events of the last month had settled over me. I wiped my eyes before anything could slip out and started changing out of my costume and wiping off my makeup. I exchanged pleather pants for comfortable jeans and a jeweled tank top for a plain t-shirt over a thermal. A slight knock at the door let me know I had to go, so I grabbed my purse before going to the door.

"Hey, baby," I looked up to warm hazel eyes and a mass of curly hair to match my own.

"Hi, mom." I pressed into the older woman and wrapped my arms around her waist, a feeling of anxiety that had recently surfaced was calmed by her presence.

"You were amazing tonight," She kissed the top of my head, and while I'd usually discourage it, tonight it was a comfort.

"You always say that," I shrugged,

"It's always true," she pulled the door closed and then lead me out of the building.

Outside fans crowded us, my costars had already been past, so I stayed awhile, signing pictures and autograph books. The flash of cameras had become so normal for me, it was second nature to put on my biggest smile and stand on my toes with my arm around some stranger who claimed to love me, I honestly couldn't think of any other way to live.

Eventually we were four blocks from the theater, my mother and I walking in a comfortable silence. This had become our habit in recent weeks. When I found myself unable to get in a taxi, or hail a bus, she'd taken up the task of finding her way to the theater every night, only to walk me home. She worried, but I assured her I was fine, and tried to look on the bright side. We got to spend more time together on these walks.

"Rachel," she sighed into the cool autumn air.

"Hmm?"

"You can't keep this up," she looked down at me, worry evident across her face.

I knew she'd hear me faking but I tried anyway, "Keep what up?"

"Rachel, this isn't healthy. You can't walk everywhere for the rest of your life." She urged, as we descended the stairs to be met by the sounds of the trains and the people waiting on them.

"It's healthy. This is New York, everyone walks," I argued.

"No sweetie, that's Paris. We take taxis, and the subway," she clarified as we passed the turnstiles.

"Luckily, I live near said subway," I followed.

"Rach," she pleaded.  
>"What do you propose then, mom?" I turned to face her, my frustration growing.<p>

I knew I'd regret getting angry when I saw the worry on her face, "Maybe you could talk to someone about the accidents," I winced slightly, "Both of them."

"I talk to you," I sighed as I saw our train pull in.

"And you panic at the sound of a bus screeching to a stop," she admitted. "Maybe you should talk to a professional."  
>"I don't need therapy. I am not crazy." My eyebrows furrowed. I knew therapy was more than just crazy people, but when I was being told I needed it, I felt like maybe that's what I was.<p>

"I know, Rachel, but you need to talk to somebody and I'm not cutting it," she pressed. I knew she wasn't giving up. Until now she'd dropped the topic as soon as I denied it, but I could tell she was over this. My mother was never one to dawdle, and yes she'd given me my time to grieve, but I had to pull myself out of this.

"I'll think about it," I offered, ending the conversation.

The rest of the ride and walk home were silent. When we got home I excused myself to my room, skipping dinner and just pulling my laptop to my bed. My twitter had plenty of posts from fans, professing their love for me, asking questions, and just dropping random comments. As I scrolled down I found an invitation to some party, Shay apparently thought I needed to get out. The party was too mainstream, some movie premier after party, I'd never find myself there.

I toyed around on the web for a while before I eventually just felt the draw of sleep. I shut off the computer and laid down. I toyed with the idea of going to the party, when I was younger I loved going to small get togethers, but lately I'd just been home. I couldn't call a taxi to leave, even if I could ride a bus they stopped running by the time most parties started, and most of my friends lived to far and I refused to be dropped off at any sort of social gathering by my mother. The more I thought about it the less I wanted to go to the party anyway.

}{

I woke up at seven to begin my usual morning ritual. A vegan protein smoothie and thirty minutes on my elliptical. My mother had already left to her singing lessons. Even when I'd assured her I'd be the one to take care of her she kept the job. My career took off quickly when I was young but I suppose I understood the job. It gave her something to do and she'd grown to love it. I didn't have much to do until tonight, so instead I just went to the couch, hoping something on television could hold my attention.

"Starlet Santana Lopez has made the jump from the pages of magazines to the big screen as she appears in the most recent action adventure movie," the voice over declared as a Hispanic woman, appeared on the screen. Her arm was wrapped around that of some star who'd been in his share of movies already. I found myself taking second glances at her as she walked the red carpet, smiling and waving to cameras while her long dark hair fell over her bare shoulders.

When my focus broadened from just the Hispanic girl I caught a bit of interesting information, "Might make an appearance or two at the after parties for her movie premier tonight in New York."

I had no interest in that woman. The reporter had said all I needed to know about her to know she and I ran with different crowds. She was a starlet, and a model. She was probably a snob who came from a privileged family and bought her way to success. Even her body must have been bought to assure her fame. I dismissed any interest in her, but the idea of going to the party persisted.

I ran through my daily routine as usual. Watching television, vocal warm ups, shower, hair, and I made my way to the theater, not in need of my mothers company until after dark. On my arrival Shay all but pounced on me.

"So, how about that party," she pulled me into her arms, "after the show?"

"Ask me then," I hugged her back before she preceded her usual show of trying to woo me.

Santana

I looked around the loft that I was expected to think of as my home. It was nice, but I still wasn't quite used to it. I contemplated leaving, maybe going out, but realized I had no idea about how to get around. Yes I'd spent my share of time around here, interviews for the movie and photo shoots, but I'd always had a chauffeur. The tile felt cold beneath my feet but my rugs hadn't arrived yet and I didn't want new ones. If I wanted this place to feel like home I'd have to wait for the trucks to arrive with my furniture and belongings. For now I settled for the sole furniture I had no other choice but to buy, the mattresses resting on the floor of my new master bedroom.

I missed California already, hell, I missed Lima. My mami and papi had left on some sort of anniversary trip to the Caribbean but I still missed the familiarity of it sometimes. Constantly being pushed to be better by Quinn, the innocence of Brittany, and, even though I'd deny it any day of the week, Puck's constant attempts to hook up. Just the simplicity of it. While, it hardly seemed like it then, I couldn't help but miss that time.

At that thought I pulled my phone from my pocket and scrolled through my contacts. I found the one I was looking for and hovered my thumb over the call button. I couldn't remember the last time this thought even occurred, or why it even surfaced now, but I dropped my thumb, pushing the button.

"'Lo," I heard the gruff voice over the other line.

"That's close enough to an adult greeting. I was expecting some stupid suggestion that I might actually want to get in my pants." I laughed slightly.

"I was getting to that. I mean, we both know you want me."

"Please, I'm actually famous now, I can't get anybody I want. What makes you think I want you?" I teased.

"Because you didn't call just anybody," he tossed out.

"Good point, so what would you say to actually coming over here?"

"San, you know I love you but Hoboken hasn't just magically gotten any closer to San Fran."

"See, I could have called anybody else and they would have known I was in New York."

"For real? I didn't know. When did you get in? How long you staying?" He sounded excited. We kept in touch but a musical venture had landed him in New Jersey, while cheer leading lead to modeling which lead to California.

"Just moved here, got off the plane last week. Thought a change of scenery might be nice but a familiar face might be better."

"I'll catch a train in,"I heard a rustling and a feminine voice asking, "Hey, where are you going?" but shook my head. Puck never changed.

"Manwhore."

I gave Puck the address and finally got up to get dressed. Answering the door in my underwear probably wouldn't be the best idea, even if I didn't care what my neighbors thought of me, Puck got handsy. Pants and a tank top seemed decent enough but that theory proved false as he pulled me into the mother of all bear hugs before grabbing my ass.

"So, did you get robbed already," he looked around the empty apartment.  
>"No, my stuff just isn't here," I shrugged, "all I have is a mattress."<p>

I immediately regretted it as he swooped me over his shoulder fireman stye, "I can deal."

I groaned into his back, "No! Can't we like go out or something?"

"Like on a date?" he sounded confused.

"No, you oaf, just out, I've been here for days, and you probably know the area better." He put me down on the mattress where I scowled.

"I'm sure I know the area pretty well," he smirked at his own joke before trying to pounce on my lips but I ducked out of the way.

"Funny, now come on." I made my way out of the apartment, grabbing a jacket and my wallet.

"You were serious?" He stalked after me, disappointed.

I was wrong, Puck didn't know the area at all. We passed by everything as the afternoon loomed over us. Eventually, I just told the cab driver to drop us on Broadway, near a theater or something. I doubted it was very helpful but he managed. Puck, and I walked up and down the street for a while. He seemed the most excited by the magazine stands we passed.

"Please, San, I want it," he held the Maxim magazine forward.

"Jesus, you're like a five-year-old." I sighed. Paying the vendor, "Besides, you've seen much more than that, anyway." I grumbled slightly.

"Sign it." He held it out before asking the vendor for a pen.

"Shut up," I laughed before we continued.

We came up on a group of people crowding around some door. A couple of people in the middle were signing some stuff and taking pictures. Puck shoved his way to the front, claiming he wanted to meet some famous people, and ignoring my cries of annoyance. While the others left most of the fans remained. I was about to start complaining that they were all gone when two women came out, they looked oddly similar but I still kept my eyes on the younger of the two.

"Hey, who's she? She's hot." Puck questioned, his eyes on her as well.

"How the hell should I know?" I ground back.

Some girl behind us hopped up, trying to see past Puck, "That's Rachel Berry-Corcoran. She's one of the stars." She said it like it was the most obvious thing and held the play bill out for us to see.

"Hey, thanks." I snatched it, ignoring her upset cries, flipping through to see the girls name.

"Lemme see," Puck took it and when the girl came over he asked her to sign.

She had a gorgeous smile as she signed it, talked to the overgrown boy for a minute and then kept moving, the older woman following her closely.

"She signed my thingy," Puck shoved it in my face. A playful signature reading, "Rachel B.C." with a star underneath.

"Mhum, and you can touch your own thingy while reading what other shows she's been in," I pointed out. Heading off to find somewhere to eat.

Puck decided to spend the night at my house even if I didn't let him get past some heavy touching. We'd always been good friends even if we'd been able to find more in each other when we couldn't or didn't want to find it in others. As soon as he found out about the premier he all but begged me to call my manager and find out about going as my date. Actually, he did beg, and after thoroughly "convincing" me I had no choice but to call.

"No, he's gorgeous, nice body, used to play football." I hated to admit it but yes, Puckerman was definitely eye candy. My manager was hesitant.

"Yeah, he's in a band," I pressed the phone to my chest to muffle the sound before smacking his chest lightly, "What's the bands name?"

"Distorted memories," he rubbed the spot I'd hit.

"I hate you," I grumbled before pulling the phone back up to repeat, "Yep, based in Jersey."

"No, he's not orange." I clarified before hanging up.

"Please tell me you own a suit of some sort." I rolled over onto my stomach, lazily.

"Birthday suit," he grinned and slid his hand down my back to grope my ass.

I pressed my face into the pillow to groan out, "God, you fucking owe me."

"I can pay you back right now," he smirked and pulled me against his chest.

After keeping the promise with a bit more well placed touching, we finally got to sleep. We only woke up around noon, having to go out to find Puck a suit to rent. I had to call in a favor with a photographer I'd worked with to find a designer suit in Puck's size. It wasn't an easy task, made worse by us having to go across town to pick it up and getting lost along the way.

Eventually we actually looked like a decent couple. I had my dark hair flat-ironed and parted to the left. It was simple but elegant. My dress was less elegant, with low cut straps with flat black strips crossing over thin, almost see-through, material beneath and black heels to compliment it. Puck made it hard to get dressed but after a few, nearly, broken fingers we were ready to go and I got the call that the chauffeur was here for us.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: Smut. That is all. Well, and story.**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

Rachel

"So?" Shay followed me off-stage at the end of the show.

"So what?" I wiped sweat from my eyes.

She sighed, "The party. You going?"

I shrugged, "I really don't-"

"Please," she pleaded, arms folded dramatically.

I rolled my eyes, "I'd have to tell my mo-"

She cut me off again, "Don't say you have to tell your mom. You're twenty-three."

"Tell me what?" I groaned as we turned the corner and my mother looked over us, entertained.

"Hi Miss C. Rachel's going to a party with me. I'll stop by when you've changed." She dashed off before I could protest.

"Alright," my mom stood up and brushed off her skirt before walking to the door.

"What? Where are you going?" I watched, a bit unnerved.

"Home?" She shrugged, "You need to go out. I'm grabbing a nice Pinot on the way home."

"I don't even want to go," I said, scowling at the ground like a child.

"Yes you do," she hugged me and kissed the top of my head, "Hell, if it'll make you feel better you can have a curfew."

I glared up at her, even though a smile tugged at my lips.

"How's four?" She offered.

"Whatever, I'll be home before then." I started changing while she shut the door, laughing.

I doubted jeans and a sweatshirt was exactly party-wear but It was all I had. I left my purse but took my phone and wallet. I could pick them up tomorrow. Shay was at the door by the time I finished getting dressed and while she scowled at my outfit she tousled my hair a bit, claiming it was sexier that way. She lead me out and we did our usual routine the fans before heading to the party. She gave up on calling a taxi after I promised I'd go to the next party with her as well as long as we took the subway.

We arrived at the party that had already begun and Shay relaxed into the atmosphere quickly. I, however, needed a drink. I found myself looking for the girl from the commercial, but I convinced myself that it was only to see if she was humble enough show herself at a party for her own movie. I found the bar and sighed gratefully, ordering an appletini. I sipped the drink slowly before some guy with a mohawk bumped into me slightly.

"Hey, careful," I shouted looking up at him annoyed.

"What, oh sorry." He had two beers, in hand before he looked down and recognition settled on his face, "Hey, you're that chick."

"Yeah, I happen to be a chick," I rolled my eyes at him.

"No, I mean I saw you last night. You signed my thingy." He grinned, and I had to admit it was somewhat charming.

"Your playbill?" I offered, relaxing.

"Yeah, you gotta come meet my friend, I'm sure she'd love to meet a real celebrity." He bid me to follow him through the crowd. Once we reached some velvet ropes he had to argue his way in. Eventually they found his name on the list and they didn't really bother me. The V.I.P. Room was much darker than the rest of the party, which was saying something.

"I found the beer," the man held up the bottles and I followed his line of vision to a nearly empty couch.

"And a friend," a voice supplied and I looked past the man to get a better look at his friend, only for my eyebrows to raise in surprise.

"Yeah, it's that chick. The celebrity." He handed her a beer before sitting on the couch.

"Aren't you..." I let the question trail off as I sat on the girls other side, fighting to keep my eyes above her neck,

"Celebrity. Yes." She scowled at her companion.

"Yeah, but she's like a real celebrity. With talent." He clarified and I couldn't help but laugh.

"And I'm apparently just some sort of decoration, who's out of beer." She rolled her eyes.

"I just brought yo-" he jumped when she poured the beer on his shoes.

I thought I was a diva, "So, um, Rachel right?" She turned to me and I felt shy under her gaze. He might have been right, maybe I was more talented, but I definitely didn't feel more famous.

"Yeah, and you're Santana Lopez."

"Damn straight," I nodded, appreciating the recognition.

"What exactly do you do, I mean aside from the movie." I was curious.

"Modeling," he pulled some magazine from his coat and held it up for me to see, "But apparently she's too good to sign things for me."

"You seriously brought that?" She looked shocked.

"What? And leave it at your place?"

I took the magazine to look it over quickly. Maxim wasn't usually my style but as I looked over the girls figure on the cover I couldn't look away and eventually started flipping through. I'd thought she looked nice on television but it hardly did her justice compared to the revealing images of the magazine. Skimpy underwear here, a vest there, a nice pair of heels, and the icing on the cake might have been the decoration glinting from her belly button.

I heard a throat clear and looked up to see an amused looks on both their faces, "I might sign it for you."

"Hey, that's my magazine." The boy whined.

"Not anymore," she took the magazine and pulled out a pen, "R.A.C.H.E.L. C.B., right?"

I nodded, growing shy, "Yeah." I took the magazine and looked it over. She even included the star.

"Thanks," I dropped it on my lap before looking up, "Why would you need your girlfriends magazine?"

She coughed on the beer she'd taken from him, "What? No. Not my boyfriend." She made a crossing motion with her arms.

"You don't have to say it like that, and no, I'm not her boyfriend," he leaned forward and held out his hand, "Noah Puckerman."

"Nice to meet you, Rachel Berry-Corcoran."

"That must suck to spell," he gave his condolences.

"Hence the B.C." Santana pointed out.

"Yeah."

So, I might have been pretty quick to judge the girl from a few fleeting glances. Yes, she was gorgeous, and, if the pictures weren't edited, was probably a damn good model, but she was pretty down to Earth. Apparently Noah was a friend of hers from highschool. They seemed rather close as they playfully flirted in a manner similar to the way Shay did with me. Eventually I got a text from Shay saying she was going. At the time it didn't seem like such a bad idea, but then Noah went to find more beer. Santana, however just seemed glued to the couch.

"So why aren't you up and enjoying the party?" I was still sipping my one drink.

"Don't know, just got here, I don't really know anyone besides Puck, my costars all went to more "high class" parties." She straightened out her dress slightly and I found myself watching her breasts as she adjusted.

"Up here sweetness," she teased, and I turned a bright shade of red, "unless you want to make this a fair playing field," she waved to my sweatshirt.

"I came from my last show," I explained ignoring her first comment.

"Any plans after this?"

"Heading home," I ruffled my hair slightly, and when I looked back I could have sworn I saw her eyes flick back up to my eyes.  
>"Shame, I was thinking of sending Puck home to Jersey." She said it so nonchalantly I almost missed it.<p>

"What?" Had she really just said that?

She didn't look the type to repeat herself as Noah came back, three beers in hand this time. I took the offered drink and downed it before chasing it with my appletini, they watched, impressed when I put the glasses down and stood up, almost falling. They laughed and Santana got the hint.

Santana

The premier went smoothly enough. I had to deal with the questions about Puck but I think I handled them fairly well, claiming we weren't dating but made sure the cameras got plenty of shots of me on his arm and flirty glances at him. It'd get enough hype for his band but I doubted it would last more than a week in any magazines.

The party was boring, Puck and I danced for awhile but eventually we just made our way to the almost empty V.I.P. Room and claimed a couch as our own. On one beer run I was particularly shocked at what he'd managed to scavenge. I tried to tone down my surprise and keep my eyes off her as we found she could be pretty entertaining. I really enjoyed watching her undress, well, finish, undressing me with her eyes as she saw the magazine. I still couldn't believe Puck brought it, but I was glad to sign for her.

Eventually Puck left and I, innocently, decided to adjust my dress when I caught her gawking. I knew my skin hid the light blush but I handled it in a truly Santana Lopez fashion, flirting. I was pleasantly surprised when Puck got back and she killed the beer before leading us out.

She did some weird thing at the car but I ignored it as she grabbed my hand and got in, running her fingertips lightly over the edge of my dress. She kept her eyes low for some reason, not looking out the windows. And when we stopped at lights and the brakes squeeled I felt her nails pull back forcing my dress up slightly.

"Wait, I can't play too?" he groaned from my room. Rachel had taken a seat on a wooden stool someone had left by the counter.

"No, you have to go home, and practice your guitar or something," I leaned against the wall waiting while sneaking glances at the small brunette. I caught her eyes on me a couple of times too.

Eventually Puck came out dressed in his clothes from the day before, "Can't I just watch?" He pleaded.

"No," I groaned shoving him to the door.

I hadn't known Rachel came up behind me but as she did Puck swooped us both into a bone-crushing hug, "Please, you know I can handle it, San."

"Unfortunately," I choked out when he finally set us down and slammed the door behind him.

"Good ridda-" I didn't get to finish as I turned to see the girl, shamelessly, stripping me with her eyes.

"So, did you get robbed?" she tore her eyes away from my body.

"Is this a bad neighborhood or something?" I shook my head, "I just moved in."

"You're new here?" She walked to the room Puck had just left and I followed.

"Mhum," I hummed, watching her sit on the bed and kick her shoes off.

"Did you even see my show or were you just waiting outside?" She looked up to me.

"We walked past, you caught our eye." I shrugged and kneeled down in front of her.

She wasn't shy, I could tell, but she wasn't in a rush, "Both?"

"Obviously," I scoffed and moved forward to kiss her but she turned her head slightly.

"So, you and Noah?" She questioned, her hand on my knee once more.

"Friends," I shrugged, "with some benefits." I hadn't meant to say that, and waited for her to storm out.

She quirked an eyebrow, "And how exactly do you get that close?"

I licked my lips, "Well, you seem to have some idea." I leaned forward to kiss her again.

She didn't turn this time, instead she mumbled against my lips, "Well, you are fairly amicable."

"So," I nibbled her lip gently and started tugging at her sweatshirt, "you didn't seem like my biggest fan earlier."

"I, uh," she mumbled, that shyness rearing it's head again, "was surprised. You weren't what I was expecting."

I sucked her lip gently sliding my hands under the sweatshirt, "What were you expecting."

She moaned and helped me to pull the sweatshirt off, "I don't know."

"Let me guess," I smirked, kicking off my heels and pushing her into the bed and leaning over her, "You thought I was going to be some stuck up bitch," I kissed her neck, "who slept her way to the top," I bit gently, "and had the acting abilites of that stool you were sitting on."

"Maybe," she admitted, tilting her head back to give me more access.

"Then why'd you come home with me," I licked the spot gently, "aside from the obvious, I have a rockin' bod."

"I needed to get out, and have a little fun" she admitted and slid her hands into my hair, "and you seemed like fun." It wasn't the whole story but I wasn't exactly asking for it.  
>"I most definitely am," I kissed down her neck and reached around her back to release the bra.<p>

She watched me brush my lips down her skin before pushing me up, "wait."  
>"What?" I sighed down at her before she slipped out from under me and pulled the zipper down the back of my dress. She kissed down my back and I arched into it slightly before she slipped her arms around from my back to massage my breast. I watched her hand on me and bit my lip to stifle a moan as she stroked my nipple. I immediately became self-conscious, something that didn't happen often, when Rachel tried to move in front of me.<p>

"What's wrong?" She asked, her hand pausing on me.

"Just," I worried my lip slightly, "kiss my neck," I brushed my hair out of the way and tilted my head for her.

She did and I felt her hand continue moving while she slid my dress further down with the other. She stopped once more and I didn't have time to stop her as she pushed me to lay back and kissed slowly down my stomach, staring slightly my bellybutton ring. I crossed my arms nervously before she looked up.

"Something wrong?" She leaned down to kiss me.  
>"Uh, no," I shook my head and slid my hand into her hair while I let the other palm her breast.<p>

"Liar," she pinned my hands down and straddle me before sitting up. She was stronger than I expected and I blushed, more visibly, as she looked me over.

"Don't look at me like that," I scowled at the wall.

"Like what?" When I looked back up her eyes were hungry.

"Nothing." I squirmed slightly beneath her, trying to get her to let go.

"I don't mind your scars," I stopped.

"Get off." I fought harder and she finally let me go.

"They look good," she said lowering her head as I sat up.

"Uh, you don't have to," I turned away but moaned as I felt her mouth on me.

She swirled her tongue over my nipples, and traced her fingertips over the thin, pale lines just below my breasts. "I should have kept teasing."

"Why," I moaned the word a lot louder than I planned to.

"Because you're cute when you squirm." She switched nipples while I felt her fingertips trail lightly down my stomach. My muscles fluttered slightly and then I felt her shove my dress farther down my hips.

"Oh," she bit my nipple and slipped her hand into the small piece of fabric covering me.

She peppered kisses over my breasts, "So, do you just play with them in the mirror?"

"Wha-" I lurched up as she bypassed my lips and brushed her finger over my wet and waiting core.

She laughed slightly, "It's fine if you do. I mean, trust me when I say I wouldn't mind it myself." I wasn't entirely sure how she could be so blunt but she had her hand in my barely there underwear, I wasn't sure if that made her entitled to an answer or if that made this awkward.

"At first," I blushed, pressing down against her hand.

She took the hint and dipped her finger lower, I tilted my head back panting as she began slipping her fingers in and out of me. She had that same hungry look on her eyes as she leaned over me and pressed deeper in. I let out a loud moan and bent my knees allowing her deeper and squirmed as she began curling her finger with each retraction. Her thumb began stroking my clit and I had to cry out.

"Oh god Rachel!" I twisted slightly beneath her and let my eyes fall closed. A warmth built in my stomach and soon I felt a second finger. I ignored the pain of the stretch she caused long enough that the warmth in my stomach spread and I shuddered below her. I moaned loudly and gripped the sheets below me before relaxing under her.

"I can tell you didn't sleep with anyone for your job," she smirked as she slid her fingers out of me.

I groaned and tried to follow her as she did, but stopped when she drug her soaking fingers up over my clit, before breathing out, "How."

"Because if they could see you cum you wouldn't have to work another day in your life," she quirked her eyebrow at me as she slipped her fingers into her mouth.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, I know this stories pretty smutty so far, and trust me, the smut will continue, but I'm not just going to let this just turn into a porno with a makeshift plot and horrible dialogue, but the sex is a big part of their relationship for now. It's sort of like that No Strings Attached movie but with the awesomeness of Pezberry. Anyway, for Control, I'll keep updating but I'm taking a teeny tiny break to let the creativity get flowing. Like usual, I'm going to thank all the readers, reviewers, alerters, and favoriters. Criticism only helps me write better so, chyeah.**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.  
><strong>

Rachel

She tasted so sweet as I slid my fingers out of her. I wasn't drunk but it was obvious I couldn't handle the small amount of alcohol as well as Santana. I liked her breasts, I really did, surgery or not they were amazing, but I shouldn't have blurted it out the way I did. She definitely didn't need to know how much I'd like to play with them. But she didn't seem to have any intention of stopping me. And I was glad she didn't.

"I'm guessing you like the way I taste too?" she panted up at me slightly.

"Mmmhum," I hummed against her lips and as she wrapped her fingers in my hair and held my head she flipped us over.

"Were, you right?" She asked and started unbuttoning my jeans, "Am I fun?"

I nodded, taking her lips once more and begging for entrance with my tongue. She complied just as I she pushed my jeans and underwear down to my thighs but grew frustrated when she realized they were more restricting that way. I had just met her tongue with my own when she pulled back taking my pants with her.

"No," I whined and she laughed. She pressed back against me and I felt her hand on me immediately.

I couldn't contain my moans as she slid her finger around my clit once before dipping inside me. I arched into her touch and she responded by pushing into me harder. I slid my arms around her neck, grateful for her height as she leaned over me and kissed me just as hard. Our tongues clashed but eventually I had to give as I moaned into her mouth. When I couldn't keep my mouth closed enough to kiss her back she pressed her lips down my cheek and to my ear.

"I'm hoping you think of this the next time you look at that magazine," she slammed into me harder and I didn't have time to think of anything else. She'd probably get her wish.

She rode out the wave with me, although she'd eased up. I quaked under her and wrapped my legs around her waist, pulling her down on me and she had to pull her finger out quickly to keep from falling entirely on me.

"You aren't, like, going to want breakfast are you?" She asked moving off of me and pulling the comforter over us.

"I didn't know it was an option," I turned my head to look at her.

"It's not. There's bottled water in the fridge, that's about it." She pulled a pillow under her head.

"So I can stay?" I sounded too excited.

She rolled her eyes, "Stay until the furniture gets here if it'll make you happy. That might get Puck back here to help me unload."

I might have overstepped some boundary as I rolled onto my side and pulled Santana's arm over my hip.

"Spooning?" She asked.

"Yes," I pressed back into her, "Got a problem with it?"

She nuzzled my hair, "Long as you don't wake me up before noon I'm fine."

Normally, I'd have been a bit anxious about sleeping in so late. I enjoyed my early morning routine, the comfort and familiarity of it. But in that moment I couldn't care less about it. I was more relaxed than I'd been in a long time.

}{

"Oh, god make it stop," the Latina shouted as she pulled a pillow over her head.

I had to reach over her to grab my jeans and pull my cellphone from my pocket.

"Hello?"

"Hey, just wanted to make sure you were alright."  
>"Mom," I worried my lip as I looked down at the girl glaring up at me from under her pillow, "Yeah, I'm fine. I had a couple of drinks last night, so I decided to stay at a friend's."<br>"Shay, right? Do you want me to come get you?" She sounded a bit worried.

"N-no, no, it's fine, I'm fine." I assured her.

"I can if you need me to, it's no problem."

I didn't get a chance to respond as I felt kisses being place along my waist. I tried to swat away the girl so I could dismiss my mother's worries, "No, really, it's fine. I'll just stop by before work."

"Alright, call me if you need me." She assured before I heard a slight click.

"So," Santana breathed against my hip, "Your mom got worried?"

"Mhum," I watched her.

She urged my thigh up and onto the other side of her head as she settled between my legs, laying down and looking up at me. I was going to ask what she was doing when she slid her tongue out and between my lips. I almost fell forward but caught myself while she gripped my thighs. I gasped as she sucked my sensitive bud into her mouth gently.  
>"Stop, stop," I begged, and as she dropped her mouth from me I climbed down her body until I was straddling her waist.<p>

"Something wrong?" She questioned, licking her lips seductively.

"I should go, I don't know you, and I've already woken you up earlier than you'd planned." I mumbled apologetically.

"Technically your mom woke me up." She pointed out.

"I shouldn't have even gone to that party," I shook my head, regret coming to fruition.

"Why not?" She sounded a bit offended.

"Because," I stood up, starting to get dressed, "This is irresponsible. I don't even know you and I have to get home and exercise and,"

"Would it make you feel better if I actually took you for breakfast?" She sighed.

"You really don't have to." But I watched, a bit regretfully, as she went to a pile of suitcases in the corner and dug around until she found a black dress and a matching thong and bra. She turned around and I could see a jolly roger on the front of her dress. She pulled on some black high-heeled boots and found some sunglasses.

"You don't get to rant about how much you regret sleeping with me and then stare at my ass." She grumbled, slipping her glasses on and then went to grab the magazine that had ended up with everything else on the floor.

I got dressed quickly and followed her as we headed outside, "You really don't have to do this."

"Should have said something before I left my apartment." She groaned.

"I did," I reminded.

"Should have said it in a way I could understand," She pressed her hair down, it was straight but it had obviously gained some body overnight.

"And how would I do that?" I looked up to the dark glasses.

"Well, we were in a bed, and I realize sex happens in beds. If I were under the impression sex could be happening in my bed, I'd have been glad to stay."

"I had to leave," I apologized.

"So I'm going for breakfast with you. There's nothing to eat in my apartment now anyway."

I blushed at that, as I saw the magazine under her arm I remembered what she'd said to me, and considered reaching out to grab it but changed my mind.

"Where do you live, I'll call a cab and we can get breakfast there." She offered.

I grimaced at the thought, I'd been buzzed in the car last night but I'm sure Santana probably didn't notice my discomfort, or mistook it for something else, "How about the Subway? And we can, um," I thought of a good way to make it seem like it would benefit her, "talk?"

"You are a truly horrible person. I'm rethinking inviting you back to my place again," she groaned as she let me lead her.

It was interesting to find she'd never ridden the subway before. She scowled at people that bumped into her and it was interesting to watch her navigate the subway, moving people either with her elbows, her words, or even just her glare over the rims of her sunglasses. We got onto a train and she ended up yelling at some guy that tried to grope her while getting off. He ended up on the floor while she yelled about having razors in her hair. Her rant fell into Spanish and I was surprised. To say the least, that man missed his stop.

I lead the woman to a small pastry shop on the way to my apartment. Santana insisted on walking me all the way home as she sipped her coffee, sunglasses still firmly in place. When we got to the front steps I felt around for my key, but groaned as I realized I'd stopped carrying it, when my mother started walking me home.

"You got a roommate or something? Have em buzz you in." She suggested and I visibly blanched at that.

I didn't seem to have much of a choice and hit the call button, "Hello?"

"Mom, it's me. I forgot my key." I heard the buzz signaling me to open the door and turned to smile shyly back at the girl, "Thank you for putting up with me, getting me breakfast, and walking me home."

"I hear a butt, I'm starting to feel like the one night stand." She laughed.

"No, it's not that it's just," I looked up to the door.

"Roommate? It's fine. I'm going home to sleep." She shrugged and smiled, and I felt guilty.

"Do you," I gnawed my lip, "Want to come in and call a cab?"

I could see a perfectly shaped eyebrow raise in an amused fashion behind a darkly tinted lens, she nodded and followed me. The doorman looked surprised to see me with someone but waved at us anyway. I lead the girl into an elevator where she proceeded to tease me about the cameras, wondering aloud if anybody was watching, adjusting her dress and stretching her arms to raise the already short hemline of her dress. I blushed furiously as we made our way up.

"We could be in bed," she groaned to me, as if trying to convince me that would be a better option.

It probably would. "You didn't have to come with me."

"By my logic, you have a bed too," she waited for me to roll my eyes and nod, "and if, by the time we get to your place, you should find you enjoy my company enough," she waved her hand dramatically as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "you might let me slip into your bed with you."

I hadn't realized I'd stopped walking. I looked up to the tall girl, almost considering it, but remembered I couldn't. She still chuckled behind me, a red tint taking over my face until we reached my door and I had to knock.

"Hey baby," my mother pulled me into my arms before I turned to the Latina behind me hoping for an explanation to come to mind but one never did.

"Hi," I forced out.  
>"I thought you were with Shay," she mumbled but it sounded less accusatory than I'd expected.<p>

"I'm Santana Lopez," I watched the girl lean take off her glasses, lean forward, and hold out her hand, all with the most trust-worthy smile I'd ever seen.

"Shelby Corcoran," I could hear my mother say as she let go of me, "And how do you know my daughter?"

Santana

I looked over the older woman at the door. It was almost like looking into the future. The w omen's similarities made it glaringly obvious that they were more than just roommates. It clicked that this must have been how her mother knew to call her. I leaned forward, pasting on my best family friendly smile with my hand out to introduce myself.

She let go of the smaller girl to take my hand and skipped right to the questions, "We met at a party last night. My friend and I enjoyed her company and she had a couple of drinks so she came back to my place. My chauffeur drove us."

"In a car?" She looked down to the shorter brunette like I'd just said we took a magic carpet home.

"Yes, Santana was nice enough to let me go to her apartment and then she walked me home." She looked uncomfortable.

"Thank you for that," the woman looked over me, as if trying to gauge her feelings for me.

"It's no problem, Rachel seems like good company." It wasn't actually a lie. The girl was nice.

"Um, mom, I'm going to take Santana to my room now," she blushed slightly and even I could see how entertained her mother was as she took my hand and lead me to what was obviously the master bedroom, decorated with playbills.

"You live with your mom?" I laughed as I fell onto the bed.

"She lives with me," she corrected.

"So this is your place?"

"Yeah," she started gathering some clothes and laying it on the bed next to me.

I looked over her choices, they looked like pajamas, "So, you can do whatever you want?"

"Pretty much," she grabbed the pile, "why?"

"Because you want me," I laid back on the bed.

"Like I said earlier, I don't know you, and while I appreciate everything you did for me today I shouldn't have gone home with you." She said it so nonchalantly, like she'd just made a wrong turn before reaching the appropriate destination.

"Fine," I stood up, straightening my hem, "See you around." I really didn't mean to sound so disappointed.

"Wait," she sighed, "we can hang out until I go to work."  
>"Listen, you obviously don't want me here, so I'll just get out," I shrugged.<p>

I felt her hand on mine, "I live with my mother, I don't usually sleep with someone the first time I meet them, and I guess I wasn't expecting you to be interested enough to follow me home."

"Tell your mom that," I smirked leaning down to kiss her, "Maybe she'll let you keep me."

"You think you're adorable don't you?" I laughed at her.

"I don't have to," I held up the magazine I'd had in hand, "Most people already do."

I snatched it suddenly, "Oh my god, my mom could have seen this."

"Would she take it away or something?" I teased.

"No, but," I blushed furiously, "that'd be awkward, my mother taking a signed porno magazine from the girl on the cover."

"It's not porn!" That was a bit offensive.

"Practically," she flipped to a picture of me against some sort of shrub dressed in a black and blue bra and some barely there underwear.

"That's not porn," I snatched it back, running a finger over the image of my stomach, my abs hardly seemed as toned as they were now.

"Please, that face just screams "defile me.""

"Well when you say it like that," I looked it over before sitting back on the bed, legs spread slightly, and my hands gripping the bedspread. I made the same face I had in the picture and her jaw dropped slightly as I almost moaned the words, "Defile me, Rachel."

She looked me over hungrily and I almost expected her to try it before she walked into the bathroom, clothing in hand. I slid my boots off before leaning back on the bed. I heard the water running for a moment before returning in black yoga pants and a gray tank top.

"So, what do Broadway actresses spend their day doing, when not on stage?" I asked while flipping through the magazine on my lap. Mostly just checking out the adds. Apparently I had lube, condoms, and cigarettes just flying off the shelves.

"Exercise, then television until I go to work," she scooted onto the bed next to me and looked over the pictures as well.

"Fun," I rolled my eyes.

"Do you have anything better to do?" She questioned, but immediately put her hand on my chest to keep me laying down, "Don't answer that."

"So, you could have just had a much better day at my empty apartment?" She shrugged slightly.

"Do you ever get nervous?" She changed the topic, stopping me when I flipped past a picture of me.

"I don't do anything completely topless, because, well," I trailed off and she must have gotten the hint.

"Does it freak you out, knowing how many lube ads follow your pictures?" She teased.

"A little actually," I laughed.

"So, you don't do porn?" She'd relaxed a bit.

"Not unless you have a camera," I laughed.

"We're not going to," it was her turn to let it trail off.

"You act like that's all I'm about."

She rolled her eyes, "So you're saying you'd be offended if I'd taken the chance to defile you?"

"I didn't say all that," I shook my head, "but I don't think I'd have to worry. You hardly look like you know the meaning of the word."

"Not what you were saying last night," she teased.

"You weren't going on about how much you regretted it last night." I countered.

"I'm really sorry about that, I just freaked out a little bit."

I waved her off, "It's fine. You aren't the first, and you won't be the last." I'd gotten used to the idea that not everyone was as interested in me once they'd had me.

"That's horrible," she sat up, "I don't regret being with you just, how quickly it happened."

"I don't."

"Can I ask you something personal?" She looked up at me with big brown eyes I knew I'd felt guilty for denying such a simple request.

"Shoot."  
>"Why did you get implants?" I looked down to the magazine in hand.<p>

I brushed my finger over the color copy of my own breasts, "I was in high school and I was constantly fighting with this friend of mine to be on top of the social ladder. I've always liked to be the center of attention but that attention does sort of bring out an anxiety, a need for approval. I had a nice body, I was a cheerleader, but it didn't cut it. I needed to be the best, and I thought, bigger boobs would let me."

"I bet I still would have liked them back then," She mumbled, obviously trying to make me feel better.

I scoffed, "Not enough to just play with in the mirror."

"You don't know that." She kissed my cheek lightly.

"So, we really can't?" I looked her up and down quickly.

"No."  
>"Why not?" I pleaded.<p>

She looked to the door quickly, "My mom's here."

"I can be quick," a devious smile crossed my lips, "or quiet."

That look crossed her face once more, as if I'd begged her to defile me again, "There's no lock on the door."

"Bathroom?"

"No." I sighed at that.

"You suck," I scowled at the ceiling.

"I get that a lot."

Outside of the room a door opened before I heard the creak of Rachel's doing the same. I looked up to see a darker girl with her hair dreaded. She didn't look to be much taller than Rachel. We looked each other up and down quickly. My dislike for her settled over me quickly.

"So, I leave you alone for the night and you pick up the guest of honor?" The girl sauntered over to Rachel's side of the bed, sitting at her feet. I sat up completely and crossed my legs, my dress pulling up slightly.

"Yeah, I guess," she blushed, "Shay, this is Santana, Santana this is Shay, my costar."

"Cool," I pulled on a smile.

"Hey, you were a porn star before you were in that movie right?" She asked, and I scowled between her and the laughing girl in front of her.  
>"Jesus Christ you people just want to watch me get fucked don't you?" I shouted between them.<p>

"She's not a porn star," Rachel clarified, entertained.

"But you have her magazine right there," she pointed out.

"I hate you. Both of you." I glared at the pair.

"Does that mean you aren't staying for lunch?" I turned to see Shelby at the door, laughing with some water bottles in hand.

Rachel shoved the magazine under her pillow but we all knew her mother saw. The woman looked as if she wouldn't have been shocked to walk in and catch us in the act, even with Shay in there.

"Have you just been listening in?" Rachel stood up, a mortified look crossing her face.

"These walls are paper thin. And I better not find anything either of you would be ashamed of seeing online on my camera." She teased handing me the water bottles and leading the three of us out of the room. We both wore our own slightly shameful face as we sat at a small table near the kitchen, Shay just laughed.

Shelby turned out to be a pretty relaxed mom, which surprised me since Rachel seemed wound so tightly. She made some sort of vegan sandwiches and they were actually surprisingly good. She asked me about the move and when Rachel pointed out that my belongings hadn't quite made the transition yet she invited me over. Rachel offered me a guest room, but Shelby pointed out I probably wouldn't need it. We were both pretty shocked at that, but Shay seemed a bit upset.

Eventually it came time to go. Rachel got my number and left with Shay. Shelby invited me back anytime and I promised her and Rachel could do the same when my home didn't look nearly as much like I'd just been robbed. I had to say, it wasn't as awkward as one would expect meeting the parent of a fling to be.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

Rachel

The show was amazing, probably even better than usual. I knew I was good for the role of Maureen but that night I had a more convincing swing in my hips and a more sultry look in my eye. Shay caught on to it easily and definitely appreciated it. Even after the show she took it as some sort of interest in her.

"So, you're finally coming around?" She released her dreadlocks from the packaging rubberband that contained them during the show.

"To?" I asked, teasing her.

"Me," she jumped in front of me.

"Well," I gave her a playful wink before continuing to my dressing room, "No."

"You will. I'm not done working my magic yet." She took it as a challenge.

"So if it's not me, then who's got you all riles up?" She nudged me shoulder.

"My mood's just picked up," I smiled.

The taller girl nodded, "Is it that chick from the party, huh."  
>"Santana, and I don't know," I shrugged.<p>

"What's up with you two," she sounded sort of upset.

"We just hung out after the party and she walked me home the next morning." I tried to leave out things Shay really didn't need to hear.

"What? You went home with her Rachel?"

"Yes."

"Why? I mean yeah she looks alright but she's just some model. She's as talented as a piece of furniture. You could be with someone so much better."

"She's nice, and you're assuming I did anything more than spend time with her," I looked at the other girl dissaprovingly, "Besides, I'm not "with" her, I just went to her apartment." I walked into my dressing room and closed the door, "It's none of your bussiness who I'm with anyway."  
>I fumed slightly as I began changing. Once I was in my outfit from before and my mother was at my door. We proceeded outside to handle the usual signings and pictures. A couple people admitted to being in love with me and one person proposed. I smiled and kissed them on the cheek before leaving with my mother.<p>

"You're in a good mood," my mother looked down at me. Sometimes I wished I'd gotten her height.

"Apparently, I'm engaged." I laughed.

"Do they know you're getting some on the side," she winked at me playfully.

I groaned, "Mom!"

"What? You're an adult. You have needs, and she's hot."  
>I blushed furiously and palmed my face slightly.<p>

"Shouldn't you be encouraging me to wait until marriage and hold out for the one or something like that?"

"I'm sure the one will come along, but until then she got you into a car."

"It's not that big of a deal, her manager just knew she couldn't get around on her own yet. And we were drunk," I shrugged it off, my good mood dissipating.

"But you still got in," she looked at me, aware of the slip in my mood.

"And what am I going to do? Just sleep with her until someone else comes along for either of us?"

"Rach, I know you love romance and all of it, but some people can handle their career and a relationship at once. Maybe you can't but it doesn't seem like this girl can either. Be careful, you don't have to just sleep with her, and I can tell that's not all she wants from you," she held up a hand, already knowing I'd question her intuition, "If you were just a fling she wouldn't have walked you home, put you in a cab, maybe, but she walked you home. You two both have a physical need and you can handle them for each other."

The rest of the walk home was silent. I was thinking about what my mother said. It was certainly unconventional but maybe it was true. I couldn't see myself in a relationship right now but I did enjoy Santana's company, and I supposed she might have enjoyed mine. We reached the apartment and I skipped dinner to go to bed. I'd have to work out twice as long tomorwo morning.

}{

After finishing up an hour workout and taking a shower I went to my room, I tried to lay down but I got bored quickly. I slid my hand under my pillow to get more comfortable when I felt something underneath it. I pulled it out to see the magazine with Santana on the cover. I looked it over quickly before remembering what she'd said to me.

Her words echoed slightly in my mind, _"I'm hoping you think of this the next time you look at that magazine."_

I nibbled my lip slightly before opening the magazine to a picture of her. I felt a familiar tingling between my legs. The memory of her hand between my legs was tantalizing, and it only grew with each picture I passed. Eventually I came across one that I just couldn't pass. As I saw the position and the face of the girl printed on paper, her words urged me on.

"_Defile me,"_ I may not have been able to have her at the moment but I could easily settle. I pushed my shorts and underwear down below my hips and slid my hand down my stomach. I was met with my own warmth immediately. I tried to immitate her motions, paying minimal attention to my clit as I dipped into my own wet heat. As I pulled the magazine up with my free hand I held it on my stomach to see her face, I remembered the soft feel of her lips as she pressed them to my mouth so forcefully. Distantly, I could hear a slight buzzing, but I ignored it and soon enough it stopped.

That familiar warmth coiled in my stomach as I moaned loudly, "Oh god, Santana."

A click stopped me, and then I heard a slight chuckling. The color drained from my face and I straightened out my clothing before searching around my bed and finally seeing my phone with an answered call.

I picked it up and breathed into it, "Hello."

"I'm guessing you liked that magazine," Santana chuckled into her phone and I palmed my face, but quickly pulled it away as I remembered what I'd been doing.

I didn't bother answer, I was too mortified.

"You should get a flip phone," she advised, "But enough about you getting off, thinking about me."

I heard Noah in the background, "No way! She's way to classy to think of a pornstar like you."

I smiled slightly until I heard a smacking sound and someone cry out in pain, "Puck says hi, by the way. My stuff came, although I'm sure it's not as cool as when you do it."

"Is there a purpose to this phone call or are you just going to keep talking about that?" I sighed.

"I could, I really could. Or you can get over here and help me unpack."  
>"What do I get out of helping you?" I'd already gotten up and started pulling on shoes.<p>

"Bottled water," she reminded, "and you'll get a lot more than that magazine can give."

Noah cheered in the background and I heard a sucessful cheer as he must have doged another of Santana's attacks.

I rolled my eyes and went to wash my hands. I made sure to grab my keys this time as I left.

}{

When Santana said her stuff came and I heard Noah in the background I'd assumed they'd be trying to get the stuff set up and put away. I couldn't have been more wrong. When I walked in after Noah, who answered the door, I saw a giant flatscreen television on the floor, a big black couch, and about a million boxes. Santana was sprawled out the couch, dressed in some band t-shirt and a thong while Noah went and sat on the floor before her. They were staring intently at the screen while some woman in a wedding dress got cake smashed on her head.

"So, is this all the packing you're doing for the day?" I asked going to sit on the arm of the couch. Santana's black hair was curled and splayed across her neck and shoulders before she looked up at me.

"It's not like anyone's coming over. I just have my shit. I'm happy."  
>"We could have atleast found the xbox," Noah grumbled.<p>

"I have a better idea," I pulled out my wallet and a fifty dollar bill from it, "Why don't you take this and pick up some red wine and a couple cases of beer."

He hopped up at that and took the money, quickly, "Hell's yeah, as soon as we get some drinks we can totally get our unpack on."

I smiled up at him before looking down at the girl on the couch.

Santana

I thoroughly enjoyed catching Rachel going to town. It was cute when she got flustered but I did appreciate when she showed up. To be honest, I'd have been cool with just leaving all my stuff like this and finding it when I needed it but when she tried to urge us on with drinks I didn't undestand. Drinks would hardly get us in the right mind to work but once Puck left and I looked up to her I understood.

"He's going to get lost." I pointed out.

"There aren't any liquor stores nearby anyway," She kicked off her shoes.

"Why'd you send him, then?" I wanted to make sure I had this right.

"To get him out of the way," she didn't bother taking her eyes off of the television.

"Of what?"

"Me," she said and I felt her fingers in my messy hair.

"Nice whale tail," she giggled as she pulled my shirt up slightly by the back.

"I know," I pulled her down onto the couch before me and pushed her legs open until they were at my sides. I only pulled her shorts to just below her knees and slid my head under to slide the tip of my tongue playfully up her slit.

"Ooh," she moaned lowly, slipping her fingers into my hair.

"I'm confused," I mumbled against her thigh as I pulled her skin loosely between my teeth and sucked gently. My hair began spilling down onto her thighs as well, and I could tell it tickled as she gasped and moaned.

"About what?" I could feel her eyes on me and her fingers rubbing my scalp, urging me onward.

"Yesterday, you didn't seem all that excited about sleeping with me again," I bit harder, enjoying her gasp before soothing the spot with my tongue.

"Well, I've been thinking," she started.

"So that's what you call it," I laughed a bit against her thigh.

She glared at me, "And I was wondering, are you looking for a relationship." I wasn't expecting that sort of bluntness.

"I, well, uh," I pulled back, blushing when I forgot about her pants and tried to explain that I wasn't without sounding like a jerk.

"Because, I'm not," that just confused me.

"And?" I stopped struggling against the clothing behind my head.

"And I want to," she paused, dropping her head back as if she were struggling, "not be in a relationship with you."

"What?" I wasn't sure what she'd just said. It sounded more like horrible grammar than an actual proposal.

"I don't want a relationship to put above my career, and you, I don't know, just want to get laid, so why can't we just not be together. You don't seem to mind just hooking up, and I definitely don't mind hooking up with you."

"Well," I couldn't believe she'd said that, she wouldn't mind not being together, just hooking up, "I'd like that too."

"Good," she looked up at me, pink fading from her cheeks, and then she looked at me expectantly.

"What?"

"Ungh," she groaned slightly before digging her heels into my back and rubbing my scalp again.

"Oh, yeah," I dipped my head back down, parting her lips with my own and I took her clit between my them to suck. She bucked her hips up and I laughed pressing them back down. I grazed her soft flesh with my teeth. She tossed her head back and I took that as my cue to press my tongue to her. I flicked my tongue quickly over her and she squirmed beneath me, I began a more dramatic stroke, dipping and lifting my head as she watched and she shuddered beneath me in pleasure.

"So, is that how you shake hands?" She panted looking at me, a slight smile in place.

"Maybe," I continued licking her, slowing my pace just to taste her.

She tried pushing me away. "Mmm, stop, Noah's proba-" but I pressed her legs farther apart, enjoying her flexibility.

"You dance, don't you?" I mumbled the words against her clit.

"A little," she gave up pushing and now she had both hands in my hair, "why?"

"I can tell," I pressed as far as her somewhat restrained knees would allow.

She blushed slightly, "Can I at least get a turn?" She panted as I dipped my tongue into her.

"What? This isn't enough for you?" I licked her entrance and then circled my tongue inside her, I was going far to slowly for her to cum, but she was still enjoying it.

"No, it's not," she finally pulled back from me and pulled her shorts back up. I tried to slide my hand into her pants but after a moment she smacked my arm.

She was going for my thong when the intercom went off. I smirked and went to answer it, Puck had apparently found the drinks and while I tried to talking to him I felt her arms snake around my waist.

"Hurry up, I'm thirsty and the water ai-" her hand was between my legs, pushing my thong to the side, "ain't cuttin' it." I finished.

"I'm sure he'd be all for it, but Puck's on his way up. I'd say about five minutes." She gave me a chance to talk but when I finished her finger was in me and I was pressed to the wall.

"I'd say that's plenty of time to defile you," she mumbled against my cheek and the pleased moan she gave told me she'd noticed the surge of wetness. She glided in and out of me more easily and I panted breathlessly. Soon enough I realized what she was doing, but tried to change her mind, "Faster."

She smirked and shook her head, if anything she'd slowed down, drawing her fingers out of me painfully slowly. I tried to grind against her hand but she pulled back. I was going to whine when she pressed against my body and kissed me, her fingers going deeper.

I gasped as she went deeper but I wasn't any closer, I squirmed slightly against the wall.

"Oh," she smirked cockily, "you thought this was about you."

I scowled at her slightly but as she thrust hard into me it faltered as loud moan escaped my mouth.

"No. Like I said last night," I licked my lips, "I like making you squirm."

"You're a terrible person," she gave the most innocent smile as she pressed deeply into me, and arched her finger as she pulled out. She gave an unintentionally fast thrust when a knock came from the door next to us. I looked back to her, not sure how to handle this.

"Hey, guys open up." Puck shouted.

"I could finish," she offered silently, picking up speed.

"Could?" I asked breathlessly, grinding against her hand as she finally allowed it.

"Quick and easy, or," she stroked my clit along with eache thrust into me, "You could wait until we unpack and then I could make it long and hard?"

I hesitated, while I could feel the warmth building in my stomach I wondered if she meant I couldn't get it later. She pulled out fully before pushing back in, reminding me that she needed an answer. I looked down to her finger sliding into me and slid my hand down to her wrist, stopping her but not letting her pull out. I slid my arm around her neck and kissed her roughly, I knew her lips would be a bit swollen.

"Guys?" Puck sounded a bit worried.

"Long and hard?" I pressed down onto her hand, making my own eyes close.

"Promise." I pressed down once more, letting my eyes roll back slightly before she pulled away and walked to the kitchen smirking and licking her fingers. I watched her carefully before the banging at the door reminded me why we stopped and so I straightened my thong and then went to the door.

"Took you long enough. The hell were you doing?" He brought the bags in, and carried them to the kitchen.

"Trying to find the kitchen box, the wine glasses are in there." I pointed to the box that had been sitting on the kitchen counter the whole time but I doubted he'd notice.

"Whatever," he placed the bags on the counter while Rachel opened the box and held up three glasses.

Puck had started putting the beers in the fridge, pushing the waters to the back. Rachel opened the bag and pulled out several boxes labeled red wine.

"What's this?" She looked confused.

"Wine, duh." He rolled his eyes before taking two beers back in front of the television.

"It's boxed," I laughed and took it from her, breaking the seal and pressing the small tab while holding a glass under the spiggot.

"That's," she looked over the glass I handed her while I filled my own, "interesting."

I nodded and led her to the couch.

}{

Two hours later I'm sure Rachel got a good view. While she only had one glass, Puck had ventured as far as two glasses and three beers, while I felt the need to top him, with four glasses, three beers and I had my eye on the glass in Rachel's hand. She seemed amused while I laid my head across her lap, reaching dumbly for the glass.

"I think you've had enough," she laughed, holding it just out of my reach.

It didn't even occur to me to get up. Instead I tried bargaining, "C'me on, please, you c'n d'file me some more."

"Let 'er have it, I wanna watch," Puck added. He could obviously handle it better than me but I would never admit that.

"This is entertaining, is she always like this drunk?" She kept holding the glass to me and pulling it away, damn it.

"Please, she's not drunk," I scowled at him as he pantomimed crying.

"I don' cry when um drunk," I glared at him.

"Like a baby!" He prodded. "And god forbid you make her angry."

"I think she'd be cute angry," she took another sip and I groaned.

"Thank you guys f'r talkin' 'bout me like um not here." I finally sat up, trying for the drink again.

"You're welcome," she kissed my cheek.

"Puck, share." I reached for his new glass.

"Nuh uh, get your own." He smirked before drinking half of it, eyes locked with mine.

"You c'n d'file me," it sounded like the best plan ever but when I felt his hand on my thigh it seemed less brilliant and more annoying.

"Alright, I think I should break this up," Rachel laughed, pulling Puck's hand away from me and handed me her glass.

"But I was gunna get some," he whined.

"Probably," she laughed, "but I have to go so I can't make sure you can't do anything you'll regret."

"Santana Lopez doesn't regret anything." I announced.

"FinnHudson," Puck declared.

"Who?" Rachel was confused.

"Nice guy," Puck supplied.

"Stupid guy. Bad lay," I scoffed.

"You'd have like him." Puck grinned at her, but I just punched him.

"Okay, well, like I said, Puck," she looked to the taller boy, "You can't sleep with Santana until she can balance on one foot and touch her nose without falling."

I stuck my tongue out at him, "Haha."

"And San," she looked me over carefully, "I'll be back."

"You're going to go be Maureen right?" I questioned. At some point I'd actually read Pucks stupid playbill.

"Yeah," she smiled and kissed me.

"Do I get a kiss?" Puck ask and she leaned over and kissed his forehead. I sometimes wondered if he ever got drunk at all or just enjoyed acting so stupid with me.

I heard the door close as Puck and I began bickering about who she liked more. Rachel fit in with us easily. Yeah, I'd only been here a week or so but I can't say anybody else had enjoyed watching me drink as much. I'd calmed down since high school, become less of a bitch, but I still wasn't at my best drunk, but even just on my way she'd found me entertaining. Puck and I actually didn't sleep together. We just continued watching Jerry Springer and Maury until I fell asleep.

}{

"Scoot over," somebody mumbled behind me.

When I groaned and remained in the same spot I felt the bed drop slightly and somebody's hands urging me forward.

"Move." It was a more of a demand this time and I opened my eyes to see who had the nerve to demand anything from me in my own bed.

"Make me," I rolled over to see Rachel's sillhoette over me.

She seemed ready to, but instead she just crawled over me, sprawling out ontop of me and laying her head on my chest, "You're a terrible hostess."

"Not your host," I grumbled, nuzzling the pillow below my head, and then it occurred to me, "How'd I get to bed?"

"Noah must have moved you," she giggled.

"Didn't you leave?"

"I came back," she leaned up and kissed me.

"Mom won't be worried?" I teased her and kissed back.

"She walked me here," she admitted, trailing her lips from mine.

"She's here?"

She laughed and shook her head against my neck, "No, she walked me here and took a cab home."  
>"Why didn't you take a cab?" I tilted my head back to give her access but she stopped.<p>

It was eerily silent for a moment before she continued, her kisses less hungry and more gentle, "I don't like cars."

"You're mom seemed shocked I got you in one," I remembered.

"I really don't like them," she nodded, "haven't been in one in awhile is all."

She stopped completely and rested her head on my chest instead, I felt bad but I didn't know what for.

"Um, you okay?" I pressed my hand to her back, trying to comfort her.

"Yeah," she sat up quickly, straddling me and changing the subject, "Hey since you're up do you think you should actually start unpacking."

"You just want to dig through my stuff," I offered.

"I wanted to help but now that I know that's an option," she pulled me up slightly by my shirt and I followed her groaning, my head spun slightly when she picked me up. It wasn't exactly a hangover but it still sucked. I sunk against her for a moment until I could focus in the somewhat dark room.

"I hate unpacking," I scowled as we walked out into the brightly lit living room.

Rachel had apparently convinced Puck to order pizzas and even a salad for herself. He was sitting at the counter staring mindlessly at the television with a slice in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. I looked him over quickly and laughed.

"Couldn't take anymore?" I teased.

"Rachel cut me off," he scowled playfully at the smaller girl.

"When I left you were trying to defile her," she pointed at me, "so I don't think nursing a hangover with beer is the best idea."

"Hey, she was practically begging me to," he argued.

"She was being lazy," she rolled her eyes before turning around, "So where do you guys want to start?"

"The bedroom," Puck and I shouted siumultaneously.

"No," she pointed to Puck, before pointing to me"And fine. I'm sure if I leave this up to either of you Santana will be living out of these boxes forever. Noah, you arrange the kitchen," she gestured to the box on the counter marked kitchen.

We both scoffed at her before I followed, dragging a couple of boxes labled bedroom. She flicked on my light and we looked around, the movers dropped my dresser, nightstands, and desk in here, so that was the easiest part. We moved the stuff around until I was satisfied. The worst part, by far, was getting everything from my suitcases away.

"Stop! Stop, just stop," Rachel demanded as I started tossing things into drawers.

"What? Why?" I scowled up at her.

"You have to fold this stuff." She started emptying drawers and folding things before placing them neatly then.

"You weren't nearly so concerned with my clothes earlier," I groaned, annoyed.

"What clothes," she continued, moving on to the next drawer, "You haven't been dressed all day."

"Eh!" I gestured to my shirt.

"Oh, yes, you're so prepared for the day," she turned and snapped the front of my thong.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes before walking away to grab another suitcase. I drew out piece after piece of underwear, thongs, boyshorts, cheekies, and a pair or two of boxers, to store them in the nightstand, and then I moved to the other side to put away my collection of bras.

I hadn't realized Rachel had finished until she came and slung her arms over my shoulders, "You're terrible at this, you know?"

"There's a reason I get paid to stand still instead of performing manual labor," I pointed out.

"Because you're about as useful as a stool?" She questioned, kissing down my neck.

"Because my skills aren't legally applicable to real life," I reached for some more bras when I felt something smooth in the bag.

"Sex isn't a skill," she bit my neck sharply.

I pushed the bag to the side, out of Rachel's vision and turned to kiss her, "You weren't saying that earlier."

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings," her teeth sunk gently into my lip.

"Ouch, it's like you're trying to say something," I mumbled, faux pain evident.

"Just that you wouldn't need those toys if you were as good as you claim to be," she pushed me onto the mattress before going to get the suitcase I'd pushed away.

She smirked into the bag before carrying it to the bed and dumping it out next to me. I winced as the small collection of colerful toys fell onto the bed. She ran her fingers over them gently while I tried to keep my face clear. An entertained smile covered her lips and finally her hands fell on one she seemed to like.

"Is this glass?" She held up the translucent toy and brushed her fingers gently up over it, following the spiral gently with her fingertips while gripping the handle.

"Maybe," I blushed, but looked away as if I didn't care.

"If we'd finished unpacking you could have tried to prove me wrong," she kept her eyes on the toy as she examined the intricate designs but that spurred me into action.

I moved everything else back into the suitcase before starting another. I could feel her eyes on me as she put the toy down, she was smirking slightly and while I knew I should have been annoyed I was a little turned on.

I can't say I'd ever gotten anything done that quickly. I got all of my clothes put away and the suitcases in the closet before we called Puck in to help put the frame together and the mattresses on it. We went out to find he'd finished the kitchen and had started on the living room. We finished the living room easily. The bathroom was by far the most fun, Rachel had cornered me for a quick makeout session but claimed it was just to reward me for actually getting something done. Eventually we'd finished unpacking the boxes and tossed the empty ones in a guess room until I figured out what to do with them. We crashed on the couch and laz-e-boy in the living room.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Alright, someone brought this up and I can't help but agree how hard it is to understand the different POVs so from now I'm going to stick to Rachel, 'cause this story is more about her.**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

It was a bit disappointing that we fell asleep before Santana got to demonstrate her skills with the expensive looking toy I'd found. We fell asleep on the couch while Noah took up the comfy looking chair. The apartment looked much less like Santana had been robbed, it was actually nice falling asleep with the friends. It was relaxing.

I woke up to the sound of a shower running. I rubbed my eyes tiredly and sat up, looking around the brightly lit room. I didn't see Noah or Santana so I had to assume one or both of them was in the shower. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to see a text message.

Mom: _You don't have work tonight right? Why don't you bring your friend over? You don't have to avoid your own home._

I blushed slightly at the message. I was more bothered by sleeping with anybody and my mother being aware of it than just sneaking around. At least if I had tried to sneak Santana in it would feel less creepy. Normal parents weren't supposed to be okay with their children sleeping around but my mother was just encouraging it. I was going to reply that that wouldn't be necessary when the shower shut off and I looked curiously towards the bathroom.

"Don't you own any towels?" I looked the tall, tan, lean, and very naked woman over.

"Yes." She hummed, stretching slightly and running her hands through messy hair.

"Is there a particular reason you don't use them?" I traced my eyes over her body.

"I like to air dry. One of the perks of not having a roommate." She smirked at me and I watched the drops of water slide slowly down her body before falling onto the tile floor.

"Where's Noah? Shouldn't he have jumped you by now?" I felt my mouth watering slightly.

"I found out he actually has a job," she went to sit in the chair he had been occupying, "apparently he works the bar for some catering company."

"You'd think he could buy real whine then," I scoffed, watching as she crossed her legs.

"He thinks quantity over quality," I watched her shoulders shrug.

"So, what're your plans for the day?" I hoped she didn't have any.

"I," she licked her lips, "am going to spend all day enjoying my now furnished apartment without people wondering if I've been robbed."

"Interesting," I nibbled my lip slightly.

"Why, Ms. Berry-Corcoran, it seems as if you've got your eyes on something particularly interesting.

I saw a smirk tug at her lips, "You could say that."

"Mind sharing what that is," she prodded.

"Water," I offered.

"That's all? Some interesting water?"

"Delicious looking water, I kind of want a taste." She wasn't expecting that.

"Why don't you?"

"Come here so I can."

"Why don't you come over here?"

"Cause I'm your guest?" It sounded reasonable enough.

"I'm sure it would disappoint my mother that I don't care," she smiled innocently and shrugged.

"You're horrible," I stood up and went to her, sliding my pants and underwear down and pulling my shirt over my head.

When I reached her she tugged my bra off and pulled me onto her lap. I straddled her playfully and pressed my lips to hers. She kept her hands on my hips while I kissed down her neck and began licking and sucking gently. She moaned above me and slid her arms fully around my waist, pulling me closer. The water that still clung to her skin excited me a bit as I felt it on my own.

"Can I be honest with you?" She asked.

"Ugh," I groaned slightly before pulling back, "I suppose if you absolutely have to be."

She thumped my arm with her finger, "I'm in a really lazy mood."

"Meaning?" I sat back on my heels.

"Can we just chillax?" I winced at the made-up word.

"You couldn't have simply asked for either?" I groaned.

"Is that a yes," she grinned.

"Sure I guess," I lifted one leg to sit sideways on her lap. The chair was too big for either of us really.

She nuzzled into my neck and peppered gentle kisses. We sat like that for a while, talking comfortably and exchanging gentle touches and kisses. Her dark hair seemed to have a mind of it's own as it fell sexily over her shoulders or reacted to her fingers brushing through it, and followed her motions. Her muscles tightened with her bright laugh and her animated motions. I actually enjoyed our proximity on more than a sexual level.

"So, you really enjoyed cheer leading?" I asked as she finished a several stories about injuries she'd sustained while cheering.

"I loved it, and I was good. Our coach put us through hell but it was worth it. It got me this body, got me through school as one of the most popular girls, got me this job, and let me know that no matter what I go through it won't be nearly as bad as being shot out of a cannon." She felt her chest, right about where a rib would be, as if remembering something.

"You've got to be kidding me," I couldn't believe any teacher would put a student through that.

"I wish I were. I wouldn't let my friend Brittany go. Can't say breaking a rib is something I want to repeat," she grimaced.

"What kind of school system was that?" I laid my head on her shoulder.

"The Ohio public school system," she laughed.

I stiffened slightly, "What part?"

"Lima. You ever heard of it?" I sat up a bit, recognition and a bit of pain crossing my face.

"I'm, uh" I gnawed my lip, "From Lima."

"Really? I don't remember you," her face changed slightly and she looked confused, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I stood up, "I moved here when I was seven."

"It's probably for the best, Lima sucked." She assured.

I put on a nice big stage smile and laughed, "I'm sure it's not that bad."

"It is," she kissed me, "Trust me. So why did you move?"

I felt my smile falter so I moved to kiss her neck, and mumbled "My mom's work was here." It wasn't exactly a lie but I wasn't about to bombard her with my issues.

She nodded and the grin in her in her voice relaxed me as she mumbled, "You're mom's really awesome."

"Don't say that," I groaned into her neck blushing, "I hate that she's so okay with me sleeping with you."

"I don't know whether to be upset about that or not," she laughed.

"She's supposed to want me to wait 'til marriage right?" I tried to gain some sort of support in the matter.

"I guess. Puck's mom hated me, she wanted him to marry a nice Jewish girl but after the first time she caught me in Puck's room she couldn't stand me."

"My mom's never cared about that," I brushed my fingertip over her collarbone, "She isn't exactly the orthodox parent. Never specific on who she wanted me to bring home, but I guess she didn't have to be. She knew I cared more about my career than dating, even when she found out I'd lost my virginity."

She scoffed, "As far as my parents are concerned I'm still their innocent little girl."

"Do they know that you like girls?"

"Sort of," she shrugged, obviously a little uncomfortable, "They don't talk about it."

"You don't sound very close," it was sort of depressing.

"We aren't," she shrugged, "But you and your mom sound pretty close."

"We are," I smiled a bit thinking about it. My mom had always been my best friend.

"This is weird," she laughed.

"What is?"

"Sitting around talking about our families, naked."

"I don't want to get dressed," I groaned into her skin.

"Fine, but let's go to the room."

We got up and she followed me to the room. It was nicer now that her furniture was in. She went to lay on her bed, pulling her blankets over her while she watched me. I looked around at the things I'd been to busy to actually take stock of last night. She had a few books and folders splayed across her dresser and desk. I went and opened one, a stack of pictures spilled out and I flipped through them, it looked like the makings of a portfolio.

She assured me that's what it was, "I'm rebuilding my portfolio. I have to order some more copies of other pictures and ads soon."

"These are amazing," I fingered through them.

"They're alright. I didn't know you could look so good with clothing on."

"Hey," she shouted.

"I'm just saying I wouldn't mind if you were a porn star," I shrugged and turned to see her blush.

"Whatever, come get in bed." She moved over.

I laughed and slid in next to her, "Can I ask you something?"

She nodded and pulled me on top of her.

"How do you get so many toys. I mean, surely there's no way someone like you couldn't find somebody to keep you entertained."

"First of all," she pointed at me, "I'm going to ignore that "someone like you" thing, and second of all," she placed her hands on my hips, "It's not about someone entertaining me, cause you're right, I can, but I like them, I like to be able to please myself sometimes. And yeah, it's a lot, but I like options."

I nodded and leaned forward, "What about the big glass dildo?"

"It was expensive and nice and I was getting in the swing of having my own money to spend. Before that I'd just been living off of my parents."

I nodded and smirked at her, "How does it feel?"

"Smooth and cold."

"Good?" I licked my lip as she watched.

"You know," she sat up, pressing her lips to my ear, "You never came through on that promise."

"What promise?" I teased, turning to press my lips to the corner of her mouth.

"The one where I get a long," she drew out the word, "hard orgasm."

I shivered slightly, "How do you know I wasn't lying?"

"Because I know you liked my toys," she laid back, sliding her arms behind her head, "and while I'm not sure if you want to use them on me or have them used on you more, you owe me."

"Which one's your favorite?"

"Besides the glass?" At my nod she continued, "It's not a toy, but I really like warming lube."

"Does it feel good?"

"Mmmhum," she hummed.

I hopped off of the bed and opened the underwear drawer Santana had hidden her toys in. I dug past colorful thongs and boy shorts before finding a small plastic container and the glass toy. I placed them both on the bed while she watched.

"You seem excited." She pointed out.  
>"Why shouldn't I be?" I lifted the comforter before climbing back on top of her.<p>

I straddled her once more before leaning down to take her right nipple between my lips. She arched up into me but I pushed her back down roughly. She gasped as I nibbled it and rolled the left between my fingers.

"Oh," she moaned lowly.

"I've wasted all day talking to you," I moaned against her breasts, "I should have been playing with your breasts."

"Do you have to work tonight?" She groaned out.

"Not at all," I smiled against her breasts as I began palming them.

"Then you have all night," she slid her hands into my hair and I swatted them away. I gripped her hands and pushed them over her head, but that proved a slight mistake. While I leaned over her she took my left nipple into her mouth.

"I thought I was supposed to be taking care of you," I gnawed my lip.

"I could settle for this," she sucked on my nipple.

I pulled back before she could totally distract me and pressed my lips to hers. I reached blindly to the side of us to grab the small bottle, sitting up and pouring some in my hands. I rubbed them together, feeling the warmth between my palms and growing a bit excited. I slipped my left hand down between our bodies and brushed my fingers over her to watch her shudder. The lube hardly compared to her own heat as I massaged her core. I could feel her shift under me and was glad my weight could pin her down. I stroked her until she begged me to go further and I slid my finger down to circle her entrance. She squirmed the way I liked and I couldn't help but smirk at that.

"So, do you just stroll around sex shops picking out things that catch your eye?" I dipped my finger tip into her and bit my lip as she closed her eyes.

It took her moment to regain her composure to answer, "I order online."

"That's no fun," I repeated the motion, building a rhythm but not as strong of one as she would have liked.

She let that fact be known, "God, what're you doing?"

"Watching you," she blushed a bit self-consciously at that.

"I'd be more interesting if you stopped teasing," she looked away, trying to appear nonchalant but that expression quickly vanished as I slid my middle finger into her.

I reached over and took the glass toy into my hand. I heard the girl under me groan her disapproval as I pulled my finger back out of her to retrieve the lubricant container and poured some over it. She watched, forgetting her earlier disapproval, as I gripped my fingers around it and slid my hand up and down it, spreading the lube. I moved between her legs and kissed down her stomach before brushing the tip of the toy over her clit. She bucked quickly and I smirked as I got a good view of her belly button ring. I pressed it down and against her before sliding farther down and into her slowly.

I watched, entranced, as her face shifted the farther I slid the glass tool inside her. Pleasure, pain, and excitement covered her face in a repeating cycle like slot machine until she finally settled on ecstasy. I gripped the handle tightly and pulled one of her legs over my hip, catching her eyes on the toy in my hand before drawing the toy slowly out. She gasped and ground down before I pressed her hips down, sliding back into her. She squeezed her eyes shut before digging her heel into my back and I picked up the pace. She arched back, her moans filling the room as I toyed with the angles, pressing the handle down or leaning it up, enjoying each specific sound the girl uttered to each different position. Eventually I found I liked down the best, aiming up inside her.

Santana's heel was a constant aid in what I was doing, twisting slightly in my lower back when I did something to be commended and pressing into me when I left something to be desired. Soon I'd only experience the former. Soon enough my learning experience would have to come to an end and while I enjoyed the time between the girls legs the whimpers and shouts that came as I rode out her orgasm with the toy were very pleasurable. I'd definitely come through with my promise.

I drew the toy out of her, teasingly pushing back in a few times before fully extracting it. I placed it on the nightstand before relaxing back against the now glowing girl. I pulled the comforter back over us and began kissing her neck gently. Her heart was pounding in her chest and I felt her fingers in my hair, her ankle now around my thigh rather than on my back. I licked and sucked her neck gently.

"Long and hard?" I questioned, my lips still against her neck.

"Oh yeah," she moaned.

"So, I think our next venture should be your laundry, I saw the hamper in your bathroom and-" she cut me off by pulling my lips to hers.

She kissed me deeply and nibbled my lip. I couldn't help but moan into her mouth and slide my arms around her neck. While I could have kept that kiss up all night, she pulled away, "I could just stop wearing clothing, I hate it anyway."

"While I don't have any qualms about that," I decided now was as good a time to bring up my mothers earlier suggestion, "I think my mother might not be to keen on that idea." I looked down to her body below me and rethought that, "Although, she does think your hot."

"While I know your moms cool and all, what's she got to do with us?" She seemed confused.

"She suggested that, since it's my day off, I take you to my place for the night." I rolled off of her, growing a bit uncomfortable with our proximity during this conversation.

She followed and laid her head on my chest, letting her hair splay across my shoulder, "Is that really a good idea, I mean, she knows we aren't dating, right?"

"She knows. She's fine with it. She just doesn't want me avoiding the house and doesn't exactly mind you," I looked down to her and nuzzled her hair.

I could see the exaggerated motion of her rolling her eyes, "It's good to know I have such a high standing in your household."

"I'll make you dinner," I offered.

"You don't have to," she nuzzled my chest.

"Do you even eat?" I wondered. I hadn't really seen her eat much the last few days. It seemed like it would make sense to have food in your fridge after a week or so of moving into a new house, but a hint of worry formed. "I mean I know I've seen it but it's always the bare minimum or a drink instead."

"I eat," she mumbled, sliding her stomach across my chest.

The worry spiked, "San, I know you're a model but you aren't..." I let it trail off.

"No," she groaned, "I am not anorexic or bulimic." She rolled off of me, laying on her back now.

I turned my head to look at her as an annoyance fixed itself on her face, "I didn't mean anything by it."

"No, it's fine, I'm a model so you assume I don't eat," she rolled onto her side, facing away from me.

Guilt washed over me so I pressed into her back, sliding my arms around her waist, "You don't keep any food in your fridge, I just got a little worried."

"I forget to eat, it's a bad habit," She relaxed into me but didn't turn around.

I kissed her neck and ventured, "I could make sure you remember to eat."

She laughed gently and I smiled, "I'm sure you could."  
>"I will, on my next day off we're washing your laundry and buying your groceries." I nibbled her neck playfully.<p>

"Oh god, you're like my mom," she groaned, finally turning around, "Everytime she came to visit in California she'd drag me around to do everything I'd normally put off."

"That's what every girl wants to here," I pushed my lips against hers before pulling her up with me and out of the bed.

"Do we really have to go? Can't your mom just come here?" She sighed and followed me to the closet.

"No, we can't just spend all day naked in your bed." I regretted saying it but she just nodded.

"So, what are you planning to shove me into for the evening?" I opened the closet and pushed her in.

"I assume you're old enough to dress yourself," I kissed her shoulder before going to pick out some underwear and a bra. I found a pair of lace white boy shorts and a matching bra. I turned around, glad to see she'd chosen. She tossed the loose white shirt and jeans onto the bed and I carried the underwear to her. She pulled everything on quickly, with no help from my wandering hands and eventually pulled on a pair of light brown cork wedge heels.

"That's a lot of clothes," I ran my eyes up and down her, taking in the low collar, the tightness and eventual flare of her jeans, and the elongating effect of her shoes.

"Plenty for you to take off later," she assured before grabbing a backpack which surprised me.

"That doesn't exactly go with your outfit," I joked.

"I can't exactly go to a sleepover empty-handed," she shoved some clothes from her drawer into the bag.

"Sleepover?"

"Oh, so I was just supposed to leave after dinner?" She looked up at me curiously.

I shrugged, "Well, I guess that's what I thought."

"You're really just going to kick me out?" She looked shocked.

"Well," I gnawed my lip thinking about it, "Just bring the bag. I'll decide after."

"Can we at least take a cab there?"

I shuffled awkwardly, "Walking is so much healthier."

"You could just say no." She continued tossing things into the bag.

"No, it's-" I stood up awkwardly, rubbing my hands together, "We can."

"I don't understand what's so bad about them," she mumbled while I walked out, gathering my clothes from the day before.

We left soon after and at first we walked for a while. When Santana passed the train I got worried, thinking she was angry, but as we reached a small store she clarified. "My mom, always told me not to go to someone's house empty-handed."

I watched her carry the flowers up to the counter, "So, are you trying to pick up my mom too then?"

She laughed, "No, just trying to be polite."

"Weren't you the one worried about my mom thinking we were dating?"

She thought about that for a moment, "Let's go back to the me trying to pick her up thing."

I laughed and shoved her playfully before we left. She proved to be terrible at hailing a cab so I had to step move her away from the street to whistle. She looked fairly impressed as the cab rolled up to us and she followed me in while I gave the driver my address. In the car I felt uncomfortable already. I pressed myself into Santana closely and she must have been able to tell. She slipped her arm around me and I nuzzled her neck.

"We can get out if you out," she mumbled into my hair and kissed my head comfortingly.

"No, this is," I gripped her shirt slightly with one hand, "fine."

"We can walk if you want," she rubbed my shoulder comfortingly.

"No, just keep doing that," I mumbled, my eyes closed carefully.

She nodded and lowered her hand to the small of my back, "Like this?"

"Mhum," I relaxed into her touch, and while the ride felt like it took forever it felt easier than I'd expected. Santana never took her hand from my back and kissed my head the whole time.

As the driver pulled off she hugged me carefully, "Are you ever going to tell me what that's about?"

"I just don't like cars," I tried to look up at her with my best Broadway smile but as I saw the genuine concern it faltered.

"You seemed like a pro at calling that one though," she pointed out, but I just got annoyed.

"It's nothing. Everyone here can do it, I just don't like riding in cabs can we drop it?" I scowled towards the door.

"Fine," she sounded hurt but when I looked back she just pulled on an unconcerned front; apparently I wasn't the only one who could act like I was alright.

I sighed and wanted to apologize but she just waved me forward. I lead her into the building, more upset than I had planned to be before this dinner. I wasn't sure if I was more upset with her or myself. I looked back at her, the lack of concern still plastered there but it relaxed when I reached back and took the hand without any flowers in it. Soon enough we were both at the door, pulling on happy faces as we entered.


	6. Chapter 6

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

"Glad you actually decided to stop by your own home," my mom hugged me before smiling to Santana, "I'm glad you could join us."

"Rachel made it impossible for me to say no," I held up the flowers, "and I didn't want to come empty-handed."

"These are lovely," she smiled and took the flowers to the kitchen.

"Want to hang in the living room while I start cooking?" I turned to ask.

"Can I watch?" She questioned.

"Yeah," I lead her into the kitchen where my mother was filling a vase for the flowers, "So, anything in mind?"

"I can eat almost anything, I'm not usually shy about food." She gave me a slightly pointed look.

"Oh, that's not necessary, Tofu tastes the same however you cook it," my mother assured.

"It does not! I make it taste pretty well." Rachel defended.

"If you say so," she rolled her eyes and walked into the dining room.

"Don't worry," I clarified, "She just hates that I don't let her keep any meat in the fridge unless it fits in her drawer." I pointed to a small drawer at the bottom of the fridge and shuddered.

"Meat's over-rated. It has to be cooked," Santana shrugged.

I dug through the fridge pulling out the package of tofu dogs, "So what is your favorite food?"

"Candy," she didn't even have to think about it.

"Candy isn't a food." I pointed out.

"Candy is so a food, it has nutrients and stuff."

"Pick a real food," I urged.

She did think for a moment, before grinning, "Bread sticks. I love bread sticks from this restaurant back in Lima."

"Sounds interesting," I felt a pang of something before brushing it off and reaching into a cupboard for the electric grill.

"I'm sorry," I felt her lips on my forehead while I set it up.

"For what?" She really shouldn't have been the one apologizing.

"Getting on you about your car thing. I shouldn't have been prying," She shrugged and kissed my cheek.

"It's fine, I'm sorry for snapping," I continued setting up.

"I'm not even your girlfriend, It's none of my bussiness," she pulled me into her arms.

"Yeah, but you're my friend, and if you don't let me go you're going to be hungry," she laughed and let me continue.

"I toyed with the idea, ya know, that maybe I could look better if I tried it, but it just never stuck. I forget to eat a lot but I've never outright avoided it and I tried that whole upping it thing but I never felt sexy, just sick."  
>I looked up to her, somewhat shocked. She sort of kept looking down.<p>

"I just thought you should know you don't have to worry."

I pressed my hands to her cheeks and pulled her eyes up, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to that conclusion."

"It's fine, so, I thought you were vegan?" She asked looking over my shoulder.

"Tofu dogs, you'll like them, how many do you want?" I smiled, glad that she'd relaxed at the welcome change of subject.

"Three," she leaned forward, her elbows on the counter as she watched.

I looked at her a bit surprised, "So do you really eat like that, or are you just trying to impress me?"

"Please, I can think of better ways to impress you, and yes I actually eat like that given the opportunity."

"So, how exactly do you keep a figure like that?" I looked her up and down playfully.

"Exercise," She stood up and looked down, touching her own stomach, "But I need to find a gym."

"You'd be lost in this city without me," I rolled my eyes as I rolled the tofu dogs from the grill to a plate.

"Hey, I can make it around on my own, I just don't see the point of leaving when you seem to enjoy coming over to my place." She smirked playfully.

"Work, food, laundry," I offered.

"My place is nice for pictures, delivery, and we've already discussed laundry." She countered.

"Stubborn," I mumbled grabbing some more plates and walking into the dining room with her behind me before I turned, "Take your bag to my room."  
>"Still haven't decided?" She pouted a bit.<p>

"I'll tell you later." I assured and turned to my mom sitting at the table, wine in hand.

"You two make an adorable couple," she laughed.

"We aren't a couple, we're just friends," I blushed.

"With benefits," she mumbled of the rim of her glass.

"Mom!"

"What, it's true. Besides, she's good for you."

"How?" I made up the meal with my single tofu dog my mothers two and Santana's three.

"How did you get here?"

"Taxi." I avoided her eyes.

"Would you have ridden in one for anybody else?" She placed her glass on the table.

"She shouldn't have had to coddle me the way she did," I sighed.

She smiled at me, "Would she if she didn't want to?"

"I don't know. Nobody wants to watch someone freak out."

"Have you at least thought about talking to someone?" She grew more serious.

"I don't need to talk to anyone, I'm fine."

"Rach, you said you'd think about it."

"And I have, I'm not going to therapy."  
>"Why not?"<p>

"Because I talk to San." I offered.

She paused for a moment before asking, "And?"

"I got mad at her for asking about it."

She urged me on with a nod.

"She apologized,"

She was going to say something but chose otherwise, and I turned to see why.

"I miss anything?" Santana came up, behind me and kissed the top of my head.

"No, we were just talking," I smile at her and nod to the plate.

She takes the seat next to me and we all start eating.

"So, Santana, how're you enjoying our fine city?" She waved the glass in her hand around.

"I haven't really been out much," she shrugged, "I know I'm in one of the greatest cities in the world but I've just sort of been mulling around my apartment. The only reason anything's actually gotten done in my apartment has been Rachel."

"Yeah, she can be pretty bossy," She assured.

"Assertive," Rachel corrected.

"But it gets things done. Trust me, if she didn't make me my bedroom would still be in boxes." She laughed and high-fived the girl when she held up her hand.

"You two are terrible. Santana and her friend went as far as getting drunk, going to sleep, and letting me get off of work before anything got done."

"Hey, it works well enough." My mother laughed.

"I have to drag her to go grocery shopping, find a laundromat, and a gym."

"Woah," she looked to Santana, "You have given my daughter purpose."

"I'd rather just sleep in," the raven-haired girl groaned.

"I know the feeling," she nodded.

"You two just don't understand how having a good start to your day influences the rest of it. A nice early workout and a plan are absolutely amazing."

"I'm a model. I don't wake up early unless I've gotten several phone call a week in advance. Even then I'm driven to a studio to be put in makeup, cheesy outfits, and then I'm posed for a few hours. Worse case scenario I end up walking up and down a catwalk. And then I wait a few more weeks until I get another call."

"So you do about as much work as a stool?" I pointed out.

"What is your obsession with me being a stool?"

"You don't serve much purpose," I laughed.

"And you service society in what way?" She asked.

I scoffed at that, "I'm an entertainer." I proceeded over my mother's "Oh god," with, "I bring culture to the masses. I dramatize the lives of characters who may be the manifestations of a writers own feelings or the representations of people that may have touched their own lives. I carry the torch of a tradition of entertainers who'v passed before m-" A hand covered my mouth.

"Rachel can get really wordy sometimes," my mother apologized before moving her hand to stroke my hair.

"Uh," Santana looked between us.

"So how did you get into modeling?" My mother changed the subject.

"Well, at a cheer leading competition some photographer came up to me and told me he could get me some work. I was almost naïve enough to take the chance but my coach came over and nearly ripped his head off. She was probably the most against my," she looked nervously between us again, "augmentation but she said maybe I could redeem myself for it. She hooked me up with a connection of hers and soon enough I was on my way to California."

"That's interesting, and where were you from before," she asked.

"Lima, Ohio." She said it nervously, looking to me, probably for some sort of reaction.

"Oh," I felt her eyes on me as well, "That's pretty far."

"Yeah," an eery silence fell over the table.

Santana could sense the tension and shuffled slightly in her seat. My mom made her way back to her seat to drink more wine. I picked at the crumbs on my plate. For a moment I thought I might actually die of embarassment. I finally took it into my own hands to fix this.

"San, you should go take a shower so we can watch a movie." I smiled to her.

"I thought you didn't wa-"

I cut her off, "You packed pajamas right?"

She nodded, confusion obvious on her face as she got up.

"There are towels under the sink in my bathroom," I called to her as she walked to my room.

"You sure know how to pick 'em." My mom offered.

"I know," I groaned, rubbing my temple.

"Lima? Really? Did you tell her?"

"I know," I repeated.

I shrugged, "Sort of."

"Sort of? Meaning?"

"She knows I'm from Lima and I moved here for your work."

"Great," she rolled her eyes, trying to lighten the mood, "I get to sound selfish."

"You're anything but selfish mom," I leaned my elbows on the table and pressed my eyes into my palms, trying to push back the tears, "You didn't have to take me in."

"Oh, baby," she dropped the humor and stood up pulling me into her arms, "I regretted giving you up. Those seven years were hell and I never thought I'd see you again."  
>"I know mom," I leaned into her arms. "I should go check on Santana."<p>

"You really do know how to pick 'em," she smiled and kissed my head before I stood up.

"I wasn't sure about letting her stay the night," I admitted.

"Please, don't let me stop you two," she held up her hands to give me the thumbs up.

I blushed but continued, "I really don't even think she'd mind if we didn't do anything."

My mom smiled at that, "I don't either."

I smiled back before walking back to my room. The sounds of the shower in the master bathroom drew me closer. I opened the door and slipped in to hear a gentle humming of the sound of running water. I recognized the song easily. I stripped silently before inching towards the door. I slid into the shower, pulling the taller girl into my arms, pressing my cheek to her wet skin.

Her humming had stopped so I picked up, _"Tonight, with words unspoken, you said that I'm the only one, but will my heart be broken, when the night, meets the morning stars?"_

"_I'd like to know that your love, is love I can be sure of, so tell me now, cause I won't ask again,"_ she took the next line easily, surprising me a bit, but the last few words alluded us. I knew them, and I'm sure she did, but instead she hummed the last few bars, before lacing her fingers between mine.

"I didn't know you could sing," I kissed her shoulder.  
>"I'm no Rachel Berry-Corcoran." She turned around and brought her hands up to my hair.<p>

"Does this mean my mother and I haven't scared you away entirely?" I mumbled against her collar bone.

She laughed slightly and nuzzled my hair, rubbing my scalp, "Not entirely."

I hit her shoulder lightly, "You can leave if you want to." I mumbled slightly.

"I don't." She lifted my chin to kiss me.

"Would you if I said I didn't want to do anything tonight?" I tested. When she reached for the door my faced fell, "Wait, we can. I was j-"

Her lips were against mine quickly, "I'm teasing. Yes, but you can't hold it against me if I get handsy."

"I wouldn't dream of it," I kissed her back, smiling playfully.

"So, like, I'm already as clean as I plan on getting, so why don't we work on you?" She smirked and dropped one hand to my hip.

"What about the movie?" I bit my lip.

"DVD, right?" At my nod her lips found my neck.

I pressed my hands to her chest gently.

She nibbled my neck teasingly and slid her hand slowly down, and grudgingly, I dropped one of my own to stop her. Her dramatic groan made me smile as I held her palm upward to pour soap into her hand. She got the hint, and I gasped as her hands quickly found my breasts. She kneaded them gently in her palms, stroking my nipples with her thumbs and then up to my shoulders. She moved behind me and I was about to complain but then her hands fell on my shoulders.

I purred lowly as she massaged my shoulders and eventually her soap laden hands made their way down my back and quickly over my ass before she slid her arms around my waist. She teased my stomach playfully before dipping her hands lower. I gripped her wrists loosely, slowing her down but not stopping her entirely. I pressed back into her chest as I felt her hands on my thighs. Her own grip was loose as she pulled them apart, and while, at this point, I would have hardly fought it, her hands didn't stray. She rubbed my inner thighs gently, pressing soft kisses to my neck, then slid outside.

I could feel her smile against my skin and slid my hands up over my head and into her hair. She moved to grope my ass once more before sliding her hands down to the backs of my knees. I hardly got the chance to stop her before I was almost doubled over with laughter. I was aware of her own laughter behind me but didn't want to make any sudden movements. Her fingertips brushed against the sensitive spot until I finally had to beg.

"Stop, San! Please, stop it's too much. I'm going to fall," I choked out between laughs until she finally pulled me upright in her arms.

"Aw, I didn't know you were ticklish." She laughed into my hair.

"Shut up," I groaned into her chest, fighting a smile.

"Make me," she giggled.

I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to hers, while my hand moved in the opposite direction.

"Nuh uh," she took my hand and held it up to kiss each knuckle.

"Why not?" I couldn't fight the small pout that covered my lips.

"Cause we're going to watch a movie," She smirked cockily.

I groaned and pressed my forehead to her chest, "Can you at least..." I trailed off shifting nervously.

"What?"

"Finish?" I kept my head down.

"But the movie."

"I know, but" I pulled her hand down, "You didn't finish and I'll feel weird."

"Oh, ok," I finally looked up to see her lick her lips.

She allowed herself more soap and then brushed my lips gently. I moaned into her skin. To say she was thorough was an understatement but she hardly had a goal this time and I couldn't blame her. She teased my sensitive bud slowly and as the soap washed away a bit she was pressing into me. Her motions were slow and careful rather than quick and hard. I knew I couldn't actually finish that way but I didn't mind as I felt her tensed muscles shifting behind me. I pressed down into her hand without any actual expectations and eventually her hand stilled. I sighed and leaned back into her arms as she slid her fingers out of me.

"We should get out." She offered, her chin resting on my head.

"Mhum," I nodded but didn't move.

"Sometime soon," she laughed lightly and shoved me under the water. I felt it was over me slightly and her hands on my hips. I rinsed off quickly and reached to turn the water off. I felt suddenly naked when her hands were off of my hips and I heard the creak of the shower door.

"Where'd you say the towels were?" She asked.

"Under the sink," I followed her out.

I watched her pull one around her waist and jumped slightly when she waved me over, "Come here."

I went into her arms and nuzzled her chest as I felt her rub the towel up and down me. It was so comfortable. She brushed down my front quickly but when she dried my back she kissed down my chest and stomach playfully. Finally she had to use the towel to dry her own hair and I watched, enticed, as she did. We got dressed in my room, her in what looked like bike shorts and a band shirt and me in yoga pants and a tank top. I pushed her onto the bed for a quick make out before she reminded me about the movie.

"Wait, so he's a lawyer?" She questioned as Richard Gere danced on screen.

"Yeah, Billy Flynn," I replied, my head on her chest.

"Then why's he dancing?"

"'Cause it's a musical,"

"Yeah, but still," she shrugged.

"Have you ever seen a musical before?" I looked up to her.

"Disney." She nodded.

I rolled my eyes, "You're missing out then, now be quiet so we can watch."

She was quiet after that. For a while. And then the questions started again.

"Wait is she dying or doing the dissapearing act?" She blurted out.

"Both," I sighed.

"Wait, what?"

"Well, no, it's a metaphor. She's going to dissapear because she's going to hang." I clarified, not taking my eyes off of the screen.

"This doesn't make any sense," She groaned.

"It would if you'd been paying attention," I sighed.

"I was!" She all but shouted, "She was going to jail one minute and the next the husbands talking to the lawyer and then he's singing about plastic."

"Cellophane," I corrected.

"Whatever," she groaned.

I couldn't help but laugh at it. Soon enough the movie was over and I'd turned the television off, snuggling into Santana's arms. I found her lips quickly with my own and we kissed gently until she fell asleep. I hoped to follow her lead but I laid in the darkness, listening to her heartbeat in my ear. She was so warm and comfortable but eventually I just couldn't sit still. I found myself up and casting one more glance at her before I left the room. In the living room my mom sat on the couch, a movie of her own on.

"How was the movie?" She asked without looking up.

"Same as usual with just a little more commentary," I shrugged and went to sit next to her.

"Fun. You two killed the hot water," she pointed out.

I tried not to let her see my blush, "What do you make of her?"

"She gives you something to do with your time," she shrugged. I was going to reprimand her when she continued, "Like, helping her with shopping and settling in. It gets you off my back."

"She's relatively more hopeless than you," I teased, "She doesn't know her way around so I'm helping."

"Whatever helps you sleep," she smirked at me, finally taking her eyes off of the screen.

"You're horrible," I chastised.

"So, is this going to become a normal thing?" She questioned.

"I don't know, maybe, if she doesn't mind."

"I can get out of the house more if you need your alone time," she offered and cut off my protests before I had a chance to start, "Some friends have been calling me out but I've been worried about you."

"I'm sorry, I've been so caught up mom, if you wanted to go out you shouldn't have to worry about me," a wave of guilt settled over me.

"I'm your mom, it's my job, but you're obviously in good hands," she pulled me into a hug.

"I shouldn't put my issues on her either," I sighed.

"I doubt she'd let you if she didn't want you to." She offered, before standing up and kissing my head.

"You going to bed?" I looked up at her.

"Mhum, you probably should too." She winked at me before heading to her own room.

I sat on the couch for a while, still staring at the movie on screen. I couldn't put a name to it but it didn't matter. I was up a moment later, turning the telvision off and returning to my room. As I slipped in I made my way to the bed, familiar with my darkened surroundings. I slid under the blankets quietly and snuggled up to the taller girl once more. I let out a comfortable sigh as I felt her lips on my forehead.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I mumbled silently.

"No, I just woke up when you were gone," her voice thickly coated with sleep.

"Sorry,"

"'S fine. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, can I ask you something?"

I heard the sound of her head moving as she nodded.

"Would I have liked it in Lima?"

"Maybe," she shrugged tiredly, the motion was subtle, "It was small and boring. Nothing like New York."

"Sounds nice. Was it like one of those small towns where everyone knows everyone?"

"Mhum, Puck and I knew each other since kindergarten. There was like one new kid in the eighteen years I lived there. Everything pretty much stayed the same."

"What about high school?"

"It was alright, nothing to brag about. You might have liked McKinley. Puck and I pretty much ruled the school, everyone knew we were in charge," she sounded like she was leaving something out, but I decided not to push, "We had this glee club thing, it was like a showchoir, and we knew it was social suicide but we stopped in a few meetings. I sometimes wish we'd stayed in it."

"I heard those are fun. I went to a performing arts school so it was sort of like a big glee club."

"I bet that was fun," she offered.

"I guess, it sort of took the fun out of singing, for a while, but I learned so much more about my art."

"I could see you liking glee club. Maybe I'd have actually stayed if you were there."

"Why didn't you?"

"Like I said, it was social suicide. Back then my main focus was popularity." Her voice was clearer now.

"That's horrible, I'm sure you could have managed both if you really wanted to," I pointed out.

"Maybe," she sighed.

We eventually fell asleep together. Her arm wrapped around my shoulder and mine laid over her stomach. It was so intimate, more intimate then we ever really should have been. I should have known we'd gotten to comfortable, been too close, but I couldn't remember not wanting to lose anyone so much since I'd been seven years old, clinging to a woman I'd never met before in my life after losing the two men who had been all I'd ever known before that.

**A/N: Song is Will You Still Love Me tomorrow, the Amy Winehouse version. As always, thanks guys.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So, surprises are in store. Can't wait to see what you guys think. Decided I wanted an early update 'cause I really like this story. Oh, and I will be getting back to Control soon enough, just been getting them creative juices flowing. Anywhosies, thanks to all the readers and reviewers and alerters, and favoriters. Criticism and the like are always welcome.**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

A week after the first time I let Santana stay at my house, I kept my promise to help her out. Our first stop was to the whole foods store I usually went to. She groaned as we made our way through each isle, me doing most of the shopping. She hardly seemed able to shop for herself, choosing treats over actual food.

"You'd make the worst vegan ever," I pointed out sifting through the boxes of cereal, granola bars, and fruit snacks, "Which is terrifying because I can't see you safely eating meat."

She shrugged as we reached the produce section, "Vegan food always tastes dry and I don't trust "meatless meat," but actual meat takes actual effort to cook"

"It's not always dry and you killed those "meatless" hot dogs," she pointed out.

"Well, would you have let me get away with not eating that night?" She was joking but I still heard a hint of bitterness.

"But how do you plan on living off of cereal, granola and fruit leather?" I held up the box.

"Better than I would with water bottles," she shrugged and went to start picking out fruits.

I rolled my eyes and followed her. She grabbed some strawberries and cherries. She brought them back to the cart and I pointed her towards the salads only for her to scowl at them.

"Do you have something against salads?" I laughed.

"I hate salad," she scrunched up her noise.

"Oh my god, you're like a five year old," I laughed and pushed the cart further into the produce section, dragging her with me.

"I am not," she groaned.

"How about melon?" She went over and grinned, holding up a cantaloupe and honeydew before her chest.

She put them into the cart, still grinning adorably, "You know you love my melons Rach."

"Shut up, now let's hurry before anybody here realizes I'm with the idiot with the melons," I giggled at her before we headed to the front to pay.

"Ouch," she patted her chest playfully.

She paid and we headed back to her place. I convinced her to walk and take the subway with me this time, although she regretted it a great deal more when she refused to let me carry any bags. By the time we actually got to her place I had to get her keys out of her pocket. For an instant I felt as if we were being watched but brushed it off, knowing how sore her arms must have been. Once we got upstairs she dropped everything on the counter.

"Oh, thank god," she sighed, rubbing her forearms.

"Now you can eat," I assured, taking one arm in my hand to rub gently.

"Mm, now?" I gasped loudly when she pushed me up onto the counter.

"No, not like that," I tried pushing her shoulders away.

"Why not?" She whined and kissed my neck gently.

"B-because," I felt my hands slip from her shoulders and around her neck.

"Because what?" She kneaded my soft skin between her teeth.

"Groceries," I moaned.

"They can wait," she slipped her hands on my shirt.

"Mhum," I finally nodded and stopped resisting all together, leaning back on the counter and tilting my head for her.

I almost fell trying to follow her hands when her phone went off and she pulled away quickly. I caught myself but pouted at her back, as she took a few steps away, taking on what I assumed was her professional voice.

"Hello, Santana Lopez speaking," she chanted, as if she'd said it a million times.

I couldn't hear the response on the other end but she visibly relaxed.

"What? Really? All of them? Even wheels?" Her tone was less serious.

I watched her curiously, patting down my shirt.

"I don't know, none of us really left on the best note." She sounded hesitant about something.

I slid off of the counter and I went to slide my arms around her waist.

"Fine, I'll go, for you, and 'cause I want to see how she turned out. I'll ask her too." She hung up the phone and turned to face me.

"Who was it?" I laid my chin on her chest looking up at her.

"Puck, he wants us to go to a gig of his tonight," she looked down at me questioningly.

"In Jersey right?" I grinned up at her.

She nodded, a slight smile settling over her nervous features, "Some friends from high school are going to be there too."

"I'm sure it'll be nice to meet them." I pulled her back to the kitchen, "But since I'll have to take you to the laundromat tomorrow we're putting the groceries away now."

"Aw, can't that wait?" She groaned, reaching for my skirt.

"No," I swatted her hands away before pushing a bag into them.

She spent most of the time pouting as we filled her empty cabinets. It was a comfort knowing she would be able to eat more often. We finished up and I was holding the plastic box of cherries. I took them to the sink to wash quickly before pressing her against the counter. Our hips met as I popped the lid up and took one particularly plump looking fruit between my fingers.

I popped the stem off with my others hand before biting half of the cherry and letting the red juice spread on my lips.

In one motion Santana brushed my hand with the cherry away from my face, gripped my cheek lightly, and took my bottom lip between her teeth.

I moaned into her mouth before pulling away slightly, "I heard, somewhere, that the faster you can tie a cherry stem in a knot the better you are in bed."

She plucked the stem from my fingers and held it up to inspect, scoffing slightly, "Then I must be pretty damn fast."

"Maybe," I shrugged, finishing my cherry and laying the pit in the top of the package.

I smirked as she took it in her mouth and shifted her jaw a few different ways. In about a minute or two she pulled out the mauled stem to inspect. There was no not, just a few frayed bends.

"What were you saying, San?" I smirked as she placed it next to my pit.

"That was stupid, I don't need any damn cherry stem to tell me how awesome a lay I am," she scowled at the fruits.

"Sure you don't, San," I smiled and took another stem for myself, making sure she saw me slip it into my mouth. A few seconds later I pulled it out, a perfect knot in the middle.

"You got a better stem than me, mine was to short," she accused and I couldn't help but smile.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself," I smiled, pulling my hips back from hers, "Let's get dressed."

At some point I'd started keeping clothing at Santana's place. Nothing, much just casual things like my yoga pants and sweats but I wasn't sure what to wear for this. While she just tossed on the pirate dress she'd worn the first time she went to my place, I just didn't know what was good to go see Noah.

"What should I wear," I asked, pretending to take in her outfit while checking out her curves.

"I'll lend you a band shirt, just keep the skirt." She began flat ironing her hair, only for me to stop her.

"Why don't you just leave your hair? It's so much sexier when it's curly." I pulled the tool away and kissed her hand.

"'Cause it's messy," she reached for it but I leaned away.

"Mmmhum, it is," I moaned the words as I put it on her dresser and ran my hands up her chest, her neck, and finally into her hair.

"How do you always manage to get your way," She mumbled into my neck, biting gently.

"You let me have it," I tilted my head back, biting my lip.

"I most certainly do," she growled against my skin and I felt her hands pushing my skirt up.

"No! No, no, no." I was mostly telling myself as I pushed her hands down, "You have to give me a shirt, and we're going to see Noah."

"Ugh, fine," she sighed and opened a drawer and pulled out a band shirt, I had no idea who Korn was but I switched it with my current button up.

Santana was digging through a drawer before she pulled out a small box with a cheer, "Yes! I found 'em."

"Found what," I tried to look at the box.

"Safety pins, now turn around," I did as she commanded and faced the mirror behind me.

I felt her hands on my back and heard the sound of the metal before I felt her pulling the shirt together behind my back, it tightened until it fit me like it was made for me.

"Perfect," she turned me around and kissed me, "Ready?"

I nodded and grinned, following her as we left.

}{

It took a few trains to actually get to Hoboken. Santana really tried to avoid cabs but when neither of us knew where the club was I relaxed into her side, trying to focus more on the soothing hand running up and down my arm rather than the rumbling of the engine, the squeal of the brakes and tires, and the horns honking around us. Finally we arrived, only to be pounced upon by the large former football player. Once more, I got the feeling of being watched but brushed it off once Noah released the two of us from his bear hug.

"Glad you guys could make it, the rest of the band's inside setting up."

"Lazy ass," Santana laughed.

"Hey, I did most of the unloading," he puffed out his chest slightly.

"Sure you did. So," Santana's tone became less playful now, "Where is everyone?"

"They went to grab lunch, the McDonald's up the street if you want to go catch up with 'em." He pointed to the left and we saw the Golden Arches clearly.

"Alright, we'll see you in a few Puckerman." She smiled.

"Good luck, Noah," I smiled up at the man as I followed her.

"We're going to see your friends?" I asked.

"Yep." She sounded nervous, her eyebrows were furrowed together a bit.

The short walk was quiet. Eventually we made it to the building and I ignored the smell of grease and meat. I looked up to Santana and followed her line of vision. She seemed so focused on a group in the corner, just outside the play land. Two blondes sat with a brunette man in a wheelchair. I tugged her sleeve to urge her forward and she nodded, plastering a cocky grin over the nerves that were there.

"So did everyone ride on Artie's lap or did you have to check his chair with airport security?" She asked outright.

My jaw almost dropped as I looked between her and the group. I wondered if she'd really just said that.

"We couldn't really all fit in Artie's lap." One of the blondes pouted before a grin broke out as she realized who was talking and jumped up to hug her.

"Hey Britt," Santana's smirk softened to a genuine smile.

"San, look," She held up her hand to show off a fairly large engagement ring.

"Aw, Britt," a slightly pained look crossed her face before she went on, "That's great." She looked to the man in the wheelchair, "You finally decided to get down on one knee?"

The boy rolled his eyes, "Totally, of course, Brittany had to help me get back to my chair," he laughed and rolled back before rolling up to Santana to fist bump her.

The last blonde finally stood up, clearing her throat, "Hey, S."

"Hey, Q," Santana went to the girl, both of their faces more serious as they looked each other up and down, before nodding their approval and hugging, although it was less intimate than with the other blonde.

"Guess your balloons haven't popped yet," the shorter blonde sneered.

"Nope not a bit. How ya been Lucy?" Santana shot back venomously.

"I've been fine, Brittany just decided to drag me and Artie down here once she saw you and Puck on television." She rolled her eyes.

"You were excited too Quinn!" The taller blonde pointed out, her hands on the back of Artie's chair.

"I was excited for Beth," She gave her friend a pointed glare.

"Where are your brats?" She looked around, no child in sight.

"Outside," Quinn went to the nearby door and shouted outside, "Beth, sweety, come inside."

A few minutes later a small girl, no older than seven rushed in, she looked over the small group before going to the shorter blonde's side.

"Baby, this is my friend from high school, Santana," She nudged the girl forward, "Remember, you saw her on the TV with daddy."

"Mommy said you were made of more plastic than my Barbie dolls," the little girl offered inspecting Santana.  
>I saw Quinn holding back a laugh while Santana blanched a bit but kneeled down carefully, "Well, your mommy must be mistaken, because, see," she held out her hand to the little girl, "No plastic."<p>

"I guess," the little girl took Santana's hand between her own and turned it over, inspecting her.

"So, Quinn, been filling your kid's head with those kinds of things?"

"There's worse things I could tell her, for instance," Quinn looked at me, acknowledging me for the first time, "If this is your girlfriend, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with you around my child." She looked me up and down how she had Santana but there was no nod, "How old is she? You aren't just picking them up from the local high-schools are you?"

"I'm Rachel Berry-Corcoran, and I'm not her girlfriend." I replied, unsure of why I looked to her for reassurance when I said that.

"She's twenty-three, and I met her at a party," she grinned at me, standing up.

"Whoop-dee-doo for the both of you," she rolled her eyes, taking her daughters hand.

"Be nice Quinn, I think she's pretty," Brittany smiled at me and I smiled back.

"True dat," Artie supplied.

"Thank you," I smiled between them.

"Me too!" Beth piped in.

I finally kneeled down to hold out my hand to the girl, "Thank you, Beth."

The girl smiled at me before taking my hand and shaking it.

"Great, more mediocrity to add to our little family, let's go find your joke of a rock star father," She picked up the small girl.

"Daddy's not a joke, he's goin'a be a rock star like David Archuleta," she grinned proudly.

None of us could help but laugh at that, even Quinn seemed to crack a smile at that. I looked back to Brittany and Artie, Brittany seemed intent on pushing Artie but he quickly turned and pulled her into his lap and we all followed back towards the small club. Beth seemed the most excited as we approached.

"So, you're bringing your daughter to a rock concert?" Santana looked the blonde up and down.

"Puck and Beth double teamed me," she rolled her eyes.

"And we all know how hard it is for you to say no to Puck," Quinn threw a glare at San while mouthing, "My child."

"I wanted to see Daddy be a rock star and Aunty Brittany and Uncle Artie wanted to come too," the girl grinned excitedly.

"You going to a be a rock star when you grow up to, Puckerminnie?" She asked the girl, who giggled at the nickname.

"Daddy said he'd teach me to play guitar when he got older," she clapped, "And Aunty Brittany said she'd teach me to dance."

I went up behind Santana and watched her chatter with the little girl, before she brought me into the conversation, "My friend Rachel here sings, maybe you could ask her nicely for some tips."

"Really!" The girl almost jumped from her mother's arms.

"Yeah, I sing on stage all the time," I smiled.

"Like uncle Kurt! He likes to sing on stage but his voice is prettier than Daddy's," she seemed so excited.

I had to assume Kurt was another friend of theirs. As we entered the club, Santana giving the bouncer our names and abating his questions about Beth. The club had already started to fill up so we made our way to the V.I.P. Section where Santana, once more, got us through, although she had to sign a couple magazines this time. Quinn busied herself with keeping Beth from seeing the covers.

"So, that's what those are good for," Quinn smirked as she passed a seething Santana up the stairs.

"Bite me, Ms. Caboosey." She scowled at the woman.

We found a table by the stage and settled down to watch. Santana fell into conversation with her old friends while I watched, entertaining the idea that these could've been my friends as well. Inside jokes passed between them and memories were shared, and at some point I began to go down a road I never thought I would, wondering what a life other than the one I knew could have been like. I would have only allowed those thoughts to continue had a small hand not been on mine.

"Do you have any old stories about my mommy and daddy?" Big hazel eyes looked up at me.

"No, sorry," I smiled apologetically to the little girl, catching Quinn's calculating eyes on me.

"You didn't go to M'Kinley with 'em?" She looked confused.

"No, I grew up in New York, I didn't meet Santana or No-your daddy until a little while a go."

"Are you Santana's partner?" I had to look up after that question to see Santana choking on the drink she'd ordered, and the girl continued, "Cause mommy said sometimes girls like girls and boys like boys like Uncle Kurt and Uncle Blaine."

"Um, no, I'm not her partner, I'm her friend." I smiled, which wasn't too hard as I watched Santana calm down.

"She keeps looking at you like Uncle Kurt looks at Uncle Blaine." She shrugged.

"Uh," I didn't know what to say to that.

"So," Santana finally broke in, "Kurt and Blaine. That worked out?"

Brittany finally piped in, "Yeah, they're really cute. Kurt and Blaine got their Bachelor's and they're thinking of moving up here to get married."

Beth huffed at that slightly.

"You don't want them to get married?" I looked down to the obviously upset child,

"I don't want 'em moving. Daddy's already up here and Aunty Brittany and Uncle Artie are always traveling."

"Well, if so many of them are up here, maybe your mommy'll let you come visit." Quinn didn't look very happy about that suggestion.

"So, Puckerminnie's got a pretty big family going on," Santana offered.

"Yeah, I decided to try that whole, it takes a village thing. She turned out pretty well, I mean, she doesn't have a mohawk and isn't chasing and Hispanic cheerleaders from, "Lima Heights Adjacent.""

"It's never too late to start," Santana assured.

The music started soon enough and Beth left my side to sit by the banister. Noah was pretty good, the band was even alright. We watched for about half an hour. Then they got a break and Noah came up, sending the girl, shouting into his arms. It was nice to watch him pick her up and spin her.

"Hey, Bethy!" He hugged the girl into his arms.

"Daddy, I saw you bein' a rock star!" She grinned proudly from his arms.

"Hell yeah you did." He grinned matching her own.

"Puck, watch your mouth around my daughter," Quinn said it calmly but I could see her irritation.

"She's my kid too, right Bethy?" He looked to the girl again.

"Yeah," she hugged his neck, tightly.

"Okay, baby, I got to go back to the stage, alright? But maybe if mommy doesn't have her panties in a knot we can hang out after okay?"

She nodded, and hugged him once more before he let her down. He came to hug me, Santana, Brittney and gave Quinn a lingering one. He gave Artie one of those handshake hugs guys always do and then left, only to appear onstage once more. Another thirty minutes passed and soon another band was on stage. Noah met us up front, a gig bag on his back.

"So, where are you guys staying?" Santana finally asked the group.

"We were going to get a hotel," Quinn shrugged.

I saw Noah shoot Santana a look before she caught on and mouthed, "No way!"

"Please," he mouthed back, pouting, although it was funnier than it was effective, "For Beth."

Santana flipped him off when she was sure the child wasn't looking before sighing, "Why don't you guys stay with me."

"I was just about to offer, but I guess San has it." Noah grinned.

She rolled her eyes and Quinn shrugged, "I don't know, a hotel's really no problem."

"Trust me, it's fine, I have a king sized bed, a pullout couch, and a laz-e-boy." She thought of another selling point, "And plenty of cereal for Beth. And we can take her to Central Park." She threw me a cocky wink.

"Fine, but how're we getting there?" Quinn asked.

"Train."

"Where do you even live San?" Brittany asked.

"New York," she shrugged.

"Perfect," Quinn rolled her eyes as Puck began leading us to the nearest train.

}{

By the time we even reached Santana's apartment Quinn was upset about Santana and Puck splitting their time corrupting her child. I was entertained and a little worried as they took turns holding her and making faces at the small child joyously. The little girl seemed to have them outmatched as she turned her hands upside down and placed them over her eyes. Finally we were all loaded into the elevator on our way up.

"Daddy, will you play my song?" Beth asked before anyone even had the chance to move.

"Of course!" He grinned and pulled out a stool from the counter.

Brittany and Artie went to the couch and Quinn took over the laz-e-boy. San went to the kitchen and sat on the counter, and I followed her, leaning between her legs. Beth took the stool next to her father, and Noah pulled out his guitar checking the tuning a bit before playing.

I could hardly say Noah was a bad singer. He definitely had a nice style. The little girl next to him looked on proudly at him. Eventually he had to end the song and the tiny blonde cheered for an encore which he gladly gave. The rest of the night was spent catching up. Artie Britt and Santana sat in the living area while I joined Noah who'd pulled Beth onto his lap, only for her to fall asleep.

"She looks so much like you," I said amazed.

"I know, it's amazing." He smiled down at her.

"But how can you have a kid so young?" I looked up to him.

"I was really irresponsible as a kid, and while I'd made plenty of mistakes she definitely isn't one of them."

"And you and Quinn aren't together?"

He shook his head, "There was a long period of time when I would have killed for that, but no we aren't. And I'd love to be more involved with her life but I couldn't stay in Lima. And I tried giving her money but she won't take it."

"She's really proud of you," I offered, reaching over to brush the tiny girls hair.

"First person in a long time," He smiled sadly.

"How long will they be in town?" I wondered.

"A week. I think if I convince Quinn I can take care of her she might let her come for the summer." He smiled hopefully up at me.

"I hope that works out," I offered a smile before I felt arms around my waist.

"Hey, gorgeous, we're going to start getting ready for bed, you want to stay and take the laz-e-boy or you want me to walk you home."

I looked around hesitantly, there were so many people, "I don't know if I should."

"There's plenty of room **if you want to**," she stressed the last words.

"Alright," I smiled and nodded.

I called my mom to let her know what was going on. Santana helped Artie and Brittany pull out to sofa-bed and then led Quinn and Noah with Beth in his arms. When she came back out with some pajamas for the both of us, blankets, and Puck in tow I got a bit confused.

"So Puckerman, why couldn't anyone stay at your place?" San finally asked.

"I live in a rented house with my entire band. Five guys in three rooms and a living room. I'm not taking them there, and that definitely won't impress Quinn."

Santana nodded understandingly before leading me to her box filled guest room. Before I could berate her she kissed me gently, "So what do you think?"

"About what," I smiled up at her.

"My friends?" She shrugged, "Still think you would have liked Lima and McKinley?"

I nodded up to her smiling, "Noah, Brittany, and Artie are all really nice, but I don't think Quinn likes me."

"Q doesn't always take to kindly to new people." She shrugged apologetically.

"Her daughter is amazing, she's so cheerful and so proud of Noah."

"She really is," she admitted, "She's so much like both of them."

"Mhum," I hugged her before looking up, "Where are we sleeping?"

"You can take the Laz-e-boy. Puck and I can figure something out."

"You don't have to do that, I can leave," I looked to the door.

"No," she pulled my face back gently to kiss me, "Puck and I would feel like total asses if you left."

"Well, when you put it like that," I smiled up to her and turned around, "Unpin me, please."

"Gladly." She did and unzipped my skirt. I let it fall before taking the offered shorts.

We both changed into pajamas before heading back out to the living area. Santana helped Puck arrange some pillows and couch cushions on the ground and then I shoved her onto the Laz-e-boy, before a quiet cheer came from Brittany, Artie and Puck. We laughed silently before I followed, sitting on her lap and nuzzling her chest. Soon enough it was silent, and comfortable. The sound of Santana's breathing quieted the rest before I fell asleep in her arms.


	8. Chapter 8

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

Santana spent all of breakfast making me admit that cereal was an awesome idea as Beth ate her own bowl. Meanwhile I harassed her about her fruit leather and granola bar breakfast. She claimed to hate breakfast anyway but I made her eat more of the snacks. Everybody else ate cereal as well while I ate some strawberries and cherries.

"Santana, I'm getting concerned. Fine, your girlfriend's not a minor, but why do your groceries suggest otherwise?" Quinn scowled into her bowl.

"She didn't want to buy real food, apparently a healthy diet isn't her biggest priority," I pointed at her with a cherry.

"First of all, cereal is real food, just like candy," she gave me a pointed look before continuing, "Second of all, you might want to be careful with that." She winked and I couldn't fight the slight smirk that came to my face.

"So you're the one with the toddler fetish," Quinn looked to me.

"I'm not a toddler!" Santana almost shouted.

"That's believable," the blonde rolled her eyes.

Brittany stretched from the couch, her own empty bowl in hand, " You two still argue like you're in highschool, are you sure you aren't a kid too, Quinn?"

"Yeah, I remember some major bickering," Artie added.

"Please," Puck interjected, "They had all out bi-"

"Puck," they all shouted at him.

"Bitter wars?" He offered, trying to appease them and the curious child.

"We're going to the park today right?" She smiled up at us.

"If mommy's not being," Santana smiled to Quinn, "Bitter."

"Of course, baby, but I don't think we should take Santana, the parents might not exactly welcome her with open arms."

"I'm not that small," Rachel mumbled.

"It could be worse," Artie added, "She could dress like a toddler too."

"She's cute," Brittany defended, "She's small enough San can carry her around."

"I don't like your friends nearly as much now," I groaned to Santana.

"Try spending almost eighteen years with them," she tossed back.

"San, you love us," Brittany grinned, wrapping her arms around Santana's shoulders. She stiffened up slightly, but forced a smiled up at the girl as she continued, "And you'll learn to love us too, Rachel."

I smiled at her and she went to put her bowl in the sink.

}{

It was entertaining, to say the least, watching Santana and her friends. We found a spot on the grass to lay out a couple of sheets. Quinn, Artie, and I watched the others playing tag with Beth. A few yards away they ran around chasing each other while odd shouts of "You're it," and "Not it," went out between them. Puck was clumsy, tripping over himself regularly, he barely caught anyone when he was it. Brittany and Santana were much faster and more agile. After some teasing someone would usually trip up and let Beth catch them. It was fun watching them.

"So, how did you and San meet again," Artie finally decided to start some conversation.

"The after party to her movie premier, we started talking there." I smiled.

"Groupie?" Quinn asked.

"Uh, no, a friend took me and Noah recognized me, they saw me after a performance and I followed him to the V.I.P. To meet San."

"Oh, yeah, I saw her movie. It was pretty epic. It was like Tomb Raider meets Ninja Assassin," Artie did some fake Karate moves.

"I haven't seen it," Quinn mumbled.

"Me either," I added.  
>"So, what's up with you two? You just a hook up or something?" She looked to make sure Beth wasn't nearby to hear.<p>

"Sort of, I guess. We don't really talk much about it," I shrugged.

"That's just like her, she doesn't talke about anything."

It was a comfort I wasn't the only one, but instead I asked, "Is there a reason she seems so tense around Brittany?" I looked between the two of them for an answer.

Artie shuffled his hands a bit at that before Quinn sighed, "She was sort of San's first love."

"What she said," Artie added.

"What happened?" I grew curious.

"You should probably ask them." Quinn supplied.

"No, Britt would probably want her to know," he mumbled before looking to me, "I kind of happened."

"You can't take the blame," she shook her head but didn't look to me as she continued, "San was hooking up with Brittany too but she chickened out when it came to actually talking. So, Artie stepped up. When San finally decided she was willing to come out, Brittany wasn't about to just drop wheels. San took it pretty personally and they haven't exactly been the same since. Well Britt's been better, San just got worse with feelings."

"Wow," I hadn't expected all of that. I looked across to the two girls running around and jumping like little kids.

"Don't expect to much from San unless you think you can deal with her bullshit," The blonde warned. It sounded almost genuine.

"We don't expect anything from each other."

The blonde scoffed silently at that.

Soon the small group was back, Beth cheering on her mother's lap, Puck panting as he laid out across the sheets, Brittany grinning widely while she chattered with Artie and Santana with her head on my lap while she cooled down.

"So, if we keep Beth around long enough I might not need to find a gym," she grinned up to me.

"What? That's what you call a workout," I teased, playing with her hair.

"Yeah, San, can't keep up?" Noah prodded.

"You're one to talk Puckerman; at least I can stand on my own two feet," she tossed.

"Weren't you two "it" way more times than me and Beth," Brittany added grinning proudly.

The two supposed adults stuck there tongues out.

"Aren't you going to play, Rachel?" Beth asked.

"What? Me? No, I'm terrible at Tag. You guys would definitely win." At that Puck and Santana were all but dragging me out to play.

We did. And I was right. I lost every round and I was constantly it. Even Beth was better with me having to ease up on her. I got Noah once when he tripped but that was about it. Soon we were all panting heavily, strewn across the sheets while Artie and Beth watched, clearly amused, while Beth moved from stomach to stomach, claiming each as a new seat.

"Santana, Aunty Brittany, and Daddy's tummy's are too hard," the little girl finally explained, taking a seat on my stomach.

"Gee, thanks," I laughed at the girl.

"Do you and Santana come to the park a lot?" She asked.

"No, not really. We mostly just hang out at our apartments. Or I help Santana find her way around,"

She looked around the group playfully, and chirped "Do you guys want to play more?"

Groans echoed through the group until Quinn finally stood up, "Okay baby, these losers can't seem to keep up with you so I'll take you to find a playground or something so you can play with other kids."

"Aw, okay," the girl hopped off of me to follow her mom.

"Oh, god, I think I've worked off everything I've eaten the last month," San groaned from my lap.

"Is it really so hard to work off water?" I teased, my fingers finding their way to her hair again.

"It is very hard I'll have you know," she yawned lazily.

"You two make a really cute couple," Brittany chimed in.

"We aren't a couple Britt," San sighed.

"Why not?"

"Neither of us is really looking for that," I chose to answer, "We both have our careers, and we're to focused on those to support an actual relationship."  
>Artie looked at me knowingly, and Brittany looked a bit sad, while Puck rubbed his temple as if he wanted to say something.<p>

"Besides," Santana started, "I wouldn't want to get in Rachel's little friend's way." She smirked at me teasingly.

"Who? Shay?" I blushed slightly.

"With the dreads," she grinned cockily.

"Trust me, she doesn't want you there anyway," I laughed.

"Like she has anything on this," Santana pointed to herself and the tenseness was gone. For the moment.

That first day was entertaining. We spent it at the park until I had to leave for work. Everybody but Quinn seemed dissapointed when I left. I didn't want to go but I knew I didn't have a good enough excuse to miss work. Instead I had to settle for texting Santana while I got into my make up and costume and in between scenes.

_Santana: So, you plan on sticking around even though you aren't getting any?_

_Rachel: You make me sound like that's all I'm there for._

_Santana: Oh, so you enjoy my cooking skills._

_Rachel: Well..._

_Santana: The amazingly deep conversations I provide?_

_Rachel: Um..._

_Santana: It's my body isn't it._

_Rachel: Pretty much, yeah._

_Santana: I can live with that._

_Rachel: You should probably find a gym if you want to keep it that way._

_Santana: Hey, you weren't saying that the other day._

_Rachel: I was a little preoccupied._

_Santana: With what?_

_Rachel: You_

_Santana: Oh, right. With the body that apparently needs to go to the gym._

_Rachel: That very one._

_Santana: You think you're funny don't you?_

_Rachel: Very._

_Santana: Are you coming back tonight?_

_Rachel: I don't know. I've been at your place for a while already. I should probably go home._

_Santana: I could go get you._

_Rachel: You really don't have to._

_Santana: I could. I should probably get dinner anyway._

_Rachel: Order in._

_Santana: But that doesn't give me an excuse to get you._

_Santana:Rach?_

_Santana: I don't have to if you don't want me to._

_Rachel: Sorry, back to back scenes._

_Rachel: Fine. Be outside in forty-five minutes._

I sent off a message to my mom that she didn't have to come. Eventually the show was over and Shay, although she was still upset about Santana, was still hanging around me as we headed to our dressing rooms. She'd actually dropped the topic of Santana all together.

"So, Rach, when are you going to let me take you out?"

"I've told you, Shay, I'm not looking for a relationship." I sighed.

"Come on, just dinner or somethin'," she urged, walking backwards in front of me.

"Not tonight," I shook my head.

"Is that a yes," she grinned.

"Not it's- Shay," I groaned, less inclined to let her continue flirting with me than I would have been a few weeks ago, "I'm just not interested. In dating anyone, much less my co-worker."

"Fine," she pouted, "Can we at least hang out? It's been a while since you went out with the cast much less just hung out with me. I mean, I shouldn't have left you at the party," she scowled slightly at that memory, but continued, "but come on."

"Alright, fine, we can hang out. But I have to go right now, want to wait for me and we can walk out together?" I gave her a hug as we reached my room.

"Sure," she hugged back, and then looked around, "Your mom must be running late."

"She's not coming tonight," I shrugged before heading into my room to change.

I went through my usual routine quicker than usual. I didn't bother taking off my makeup. When I went to the door Shay was there waiting, her more casual outfit on and we headed outside. I signed my usual playbills, took my usual pictures, and gave a final wave before a particular bystander caught my eye. I smiled and went to the girl.

"So, what's your name and what am I expected to sign?" I smirked.

"Well, my name is Santana, and I was hoping for a picture," She smirked back.

"That's a pretty name," I slid my arm around her waist before she pulled out her phone to take the picture.

"That's not actually the picture I was hoping for," she winked and I made my way around the barrier.

"Hey, Rach, wait up," I heard behind me and we both turned to see Shay.

"Goody," San rolled her eyes and I elbowed her slightly in the stomach.

"Be nice," I mumbled, "Shay, you remember San right?"

Her eyes visibly darkened as she caught sight of her, "Uh, yeah. Hey."

"Hey," Santana replied stiffly next to me.

"San's walking me tonight instead of my mom," I tried to explain but I knew she didn't care.

"Alright, bye." She sighed before turning and heading off. I worried my lip slightly.

"Maybe I should've just had my mom come," I sighed.

"Why? 'Cause she can't handle seeing you with someone else?" San mumbled, oviously upset as well.

"Well, I'm not actually with you, San," I pointed out.

She looked at the ground ahead of us, her eyebrows knit together.

"She'll get over it, I've been telling her no for months," I pointed out, looping my arm around San's.

She looked to our arms and smiled slightly, "I might have to check your show out sometime."

"I'd love that," I smiled and stood on my toes to kiss her cheek. "So, you weren't exactly going for the sex appeal tonight were you?" I looked her up and down in jeans and an oversized pink hoodie.

"Hey, I'm plenty sexy," she looked herself up and down too, "Even in a hoodie."

"Mhum, absolutely," I rolled my eyes and she pulled me against her to kiss deeply. My head sort of buzzed for a moment.

I moaned gently against her lips before she pulled back, "What were you saying?"

"Very sexy," I mumbled, pulling her back down by the front of her jacket.

"That's what I thought, now," She mumbled against my lips before standing up to look around, "I'm thinking pizza and salad."

"And you couldn't just order that?" I looked up to her as we started walking again.

"Like I said, I wanted an excuse to come get you," She grinned down at me.

"Because you aren't an adult with your own home and priorities,"

"Ha ha," she scoffed, "No, because I wanted to come get you without all kinds of questions."

"Speaking of which," I rested my head on her arm, "I have some for you."

"Shoot."

"Are you enjoying your friends being in town?"

"Of course," she grinned.

"All of them," I added.

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Brittany and Artie?" I looked up at her, hoping to gauge her reaction.

She waited a bit longer before asking, "I'm happy for them. Artie's always made Britt happy."

"But you liked her too?"

She nodded silently, then turned to me, "Who told you?"

"Quinn."

She groaned out some insult or something before asking, "Did she say anything else?"  
>"She said not to expect much from you unless I thought I could deal with your bullshit."<p>

She cracked a smile at that, "Quinn would say something stupid like that."

"So, far I think I can deal," I teased.

"I'm not as bad as I used to be," she held me closer to her side.

"It might've been interesting to see you back then," I sighed.

"I doubt it," she mumbled.

The week continued like that. Us taking Santana's friends out during the day and her coming to pick me up at night. My mom eventually surrendered her backstage pass to Santana. Shay started avoiding me when Santana would wait inside my dressing room for me after shows. We'd always return to her place to entertain the small crowd, especially when Noah had to head back for work. The last day was particularly sad though.

Beth hardly let go of Noah. We took her back to the park to play and she rode on his shoulders the whole way. Quinn finally had to pull her down and have all of us but Puck take her to find lunch. We all took turns taking the girl towards the small hotdog stand nearby. Santana and I would take one hand and swing her every so often, or Brittany would piggy back her, and Artie would let her sit on his lap while he did wheelies or spins. It was fun, everyone got a hotdog and I got some chips, Santana chastising me for being the one to not eat. Soon enough we carried food back to Noah and Quinn. Puck avoided San's gaze as he handed him the hotdogs. We all figured out why soon enough.

"Hey, S, I bet you can't wait for this summer, huh?" Quinn asked, a devious smirk obvious.

San looked confused, "What's happening this summer?"

"I figure it's a good time to let you guys know, I'm letting Beth come up here this summer. It really helped my decision that Puck will be staying with you."

Noah finally looked up as Santana's glare bore into him, "He's what?"

"Yep, he said you were letting him move in, since he couldn't exactly keep Beth at your place." She grinned.

"So I get to stay with Daddy and Santana and Rachel for the summer?" She looked around, excitedly.

Santana's teeth were clenched together, obviously upset with Noah's presumption but her voice was surprisingly soft, "Totes Puckerminnie, but I have to talk to your dad for a second." She dragged the other man away, far enough that we couldn't hear her yelling but we saw her anger easily compared to the worried man who towered over her.

We were mostly silent until Noah and San came back, a scowl stuck on her face but a slightly victorious grin on his. She came to me and I let her pull me onto her lap, her face pressed to my shoulder to hide her annoyance. I felt how tense her jaw was and tried lacing my fingers through the ones currently on my stomach to calm her down. She eventually did calm down, but it was about the time her friends were leaving.

"You're coming to the wedding," Brittany commanded looking between us, "Both of you."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," San offered, smiling weakly as the blonde took her in a hug.

I simply nodded and let her pull me into an embrace as well.

"Was nice seeing you, San," Artie grinned at her and winked at me, "It's nice to see someone could finally get her under control."

"Hey," Santana shouted but couldn't help a smile.

I couldn't actually hear what Quinn said to Santana as she hugged her but she came to me and looked me up and down, just as she had when we first met, "Try to avoid getting picked up by any pedos," she shrugged, "And don't lead her on." She tilted her head toward San who was hugging Beth.

I wasn't sure what to say to that so I just nodded.

"Rachel, can I go see you sing on stage when I come back?" Beth asked as Santana brought her over to me.

"Of course," I promised, kneeling down to hug her, "We can hang out all the time."

Soon Puck was taking the group back to the airport and I was leading Santana to my place. My mom wasn't back yet so we just relaxed into my room. Santana had apparently become attached to the pink hoodie she now wore. As I rested my head on her shoulder I ran my hands over the material.

"What did Quinn say to you?" I asked, my eyes on the material.

"Something about not getting arrested with you," I got the feeling she was leaving something out again but she asked, "What about you?"

"Not to get picked up by a pedophile," I shrugged.

"Sound advice," she laughed and nuzzled my hair.

"Very funny," I straddled her playfully, "So, I guess now we have more time alone, huh."

"I guess, we do," she smiled and leaned up to kiss me.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So this one's pretty short. But it makes up for that in two ways. First of all smut, second of all story. So far I've just been digging at the past, but now I've sort of started hinting at the future. Hope you all enjoy. Thanks to all you guys.**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

Since my plans for the last day off had been cut short to see Santana's friends, I'd expected this weeks trip to the laundromat to be fairly uneventful. I truly hadn't expected to see the picture I had but it was there, as clear as day on news stand. I gripped the drinks in my hand before reaching up to take the magazine. It was obviously some tabloid but I recognized the picture easily. I even remembered the day clearly as I took it in my hand. I took it to the owner before carrying it back to the laundromat, focusing on it slightly.

Santana hopped up when she saw me and pulled me into a hug, grinning from ear to ear, "Guess what?"

"San," I mumbled, gripping the magazine.

"I just got a call, I'll be working all next week," she hugged me excitedly.

"Yeah, but San," I tried to get her attention.

"I've just been in my place and now I get to go back," she sounded so excited but I had to show her.

"San, I'm happy for you but you should see this," I held up the magazine for her to see.

"Shit," she took it and looked it over, flipping through until she found the story. The word Scandal was written over it with Pictures of me and Santana and her and Puck all over the page.

"You aren't going to get in trouble for it are you?" I asked nervously.

"No, at least, I don't think so. Stuff like this is always around but still," she looked over the pictures, "It makes me feel kind of bad, like I really am dating both of you." I looked to the pictures of her at the premier with Puck and the one of me getting the key out of her pocket when we went grocery shopping. I knew what she was talking about.

"You aren't going to get in trouble are you?" She asked.

"I don't know, I didn't really see myself ending up in these kinds of magazines," I took it and skimmed the article.

"Damn," she groaned.

"Noah might be excited," I offered, "They mentioned his band."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah."

"Well," I sat the magazine and drinks on the nearest washer and sat next to her, "That doesn't matter though, because you got a job. And that means you'll get off of your ass and do something."

She smiled, "Hey, I'm doing laundry."

I hugged her, "Only because you were running out and I wouldn't let you walk around naked."

"I'm sure I could have convinced you," she kissed me.

"Sure," I nodded, "but since you now have clean clothing, I'm going to help you celebrate getting a job."

"And how are we going to do that?" She mumbled as she kissed my ear.

"Dinner," I bit my lip but shoved her away as the washers started beeping, "should you really keep doing that now that since I'm apparently your not so secret mistress?"

She shrugged and followed me and we started moving the clothes in the washers to the dryers, "Well, it sounds kind of sexier. I mean, I'm cheating on my guitarist "boyfriend," with some Broadway starlet. Can you really say it doesn't sound a lot more interesting than it really is?"

"I'll give you that it sounds sexy," I turned to move over another load and she stopped me with a kiss, "How come I have to be the mistress?"

"'Cause he went to the premier," she offered with a shrug and I pushed her off laughing.

"Brilliant, but Noah's the mistress-er mastress- whatever he's the other man next time." I scowled, taking the last load to the dryer.

"Deal," she mumbled pulling me back to sit so we could look over the article.

"It's probably going to be worse when he moves in," I pointed out.

"Oh god, you're right," she rubbed her temple.

I pressed my hand to her farthest cheek while kissing the one nearest me, "I'm sure you'll manage."

}{

We continued talking, still a bit nervous about the magazine but when neither of us got any threatening calls from our bosses we relaxed. We went back to Santana's place with the laundry and she managed to distract me from folding. I'd been in the middle of folding some towels, which only I'd been using, when she pounced.

"You said you wanted to help me celebrate my job right?" She asked while fumbling with a towel.

I'd finished folding at least five by the time she picked one up, "Mhum."

"Well, I was thinking we could stay in instead of going out," she offered, trying to figure out how I'd gotten the towels so neat.

"What about dinner?" I asked as I stood up, going to take the towel to fold.

"I had that," she whined, "and I can order in."

"Had it being slang for sucking at it?" I leaned down to kiss her cheek, "If that's what you want."

She pulled me down onto her lap, "It is."

"We should finish," I pointed out.

"Or, I could," she grimaced, "Finish it tomorrow."

I smirked at that, "What? Santana Lopez is offering to do physical labor? All on her own?"

"Mhum," she nodded kissing me.

"What's the catch?" I nibbled her lip gently.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," she was the one smirking this time.

I slid my arms around her neck and leaned in for a kiss when she slid her own behind my back and under my legs. I was shocked when she lifted me up but I pressed my lips to her neck grinning.

"You really don't weigh anything at all," she pointed out as she sat me on the bed and sidled up next to me.

I pulled her by her shirt and pressed my lips to hers, "So you didn't tell me what your new job was."

"Probably just some pictures, I didn't get the full details, my manager just said it'd be a good idea to get back to work," she was tugging her t-shirt off and I urged her onto her back.

"That's good," I kissed her neck and nibbled it gently.

"No," she moaned lowly, "This is good."

"I know," I assured as I bit harder, enjoying her loud gasp.

"No marks!" She pulled back slightly.

"Damn," I mumbled following her to lick the spot gently, "None at all?"

She shook her head regretfully, "Nowhere."

I groaned in disappointment before dragging my lips to her own, "That's no fun."

"I know," she mumbled against my lips and reached for my own shirt, pulling it off quickly.

I got past the obstacle of working past her hands quickly, pulling her arms around my neck and commanding, "Stay."

"I'm not a dog," she argued but I knew she'd do it.

I slid my hands up her back, unclasping her bra and tossing it to the side. I could feel her urge to do the same with mine but she kept her arms around my neck. I palmed her breasts roughly, enjoying her light moans. I pressed my forehead to her shoulder as I stroked her nipples slowly. I felt it as she moaned and panted and eventually I just had no choice but to take one of the tan raised peeks into my mouth. She arched up into me and I gripped her hips gently, sucking her nipple and running my tongue over it. I smiled against her before sliding down her jeans, grateful to find she'd gone commando. I began kissing down her stomach eagerly, but she stopped me.

"Wait," she moaned, pulling her arms from my neck and sitting up.

"I thought I told you to stay," I mumbled looking up to her.

"You did," she nodded, before rolling us over, "And I said I'm not a dog."

I bit my lip as she leaned over me, handling my bra quickly and and makes her way down to my skirt. She worked I shouldn't have been shocked when she pushed my skirt up to my waist rather than stripping me of it. She kissed my stomach as she slid my underwear down my legs and disposed of them as we had the rest of our clothes. I nibbled my lip as I watched her work between my legs until her eyes raised from my body to mine. She smirked at me before climbing back up my body to kiss me, and where I was expecting a rough and hungry kiss she was gentle. Her lips brushed mine gently and her tongue met mine with a few eager swipes. My hands found their way to her hair and while I tried to deepen the kiss she simply smiled, and pulled away until I eased my grip. Soon enough I'd relaxed into her gentle kisses and when she'd realized I had I finally felt her hand on me.

"This is," I sucked her lip gently, relishing the small action she let me take, "Different."

"Different good or different bad?" She paused her hand on my stomach.

"Good," I nodded, pressing my palm to her cheek, "Very good."

That spurred her on as I soon felt her fingertips on me.

"I didn't expect this sort of celebration," I admitted, moaning against her lips.

"What kind were you expecting?" She ran her tongue over my lower lip as she traced my slit slowly.

"Well," I sighed at the feeling, "You were moving so fast."

She parted my folds and I felt her circle my sensitive node, avoiding it for a moment.

"Not that I mind," I closed my eyes as I mumbled, "but why are you being so," I nibbled her lip as I thought of a word, "Gentle?"

She pulled her lips from mine and kissed my cheek, not stilling the aggravatingly slow movements of her fingers, "Because it feels nice, doesn't it?"

I nodded gently as I looked up at her, letting out a loud moan as she brushed the my swelling bud gently.

"Just to go slowly," she mumbled, "take our time."

I nodded bringing her back down to kiss and she swallowed my moans as she finally met my sensitive apex. She did take her time as she stroked me slowly, enjoying my sighs and moans. While I did my best to enjoy Santana's pace every so often I couldn't fight the urge to press into her hand, urging her forward but she hardly took the hint. I might have sworn she slowed down but after one specific thrust she seemed to get it. Her fingers slid down to meet my warmth achingly slowly, but it was so worth it when she finally slipped into me and I gasped lightly, pulling back from her. She pushed into me as slowly as she had been before and I groaned loudly. I couldn't help but curl into her, pressing my lips to her shoulder while fighting the need I felt to bite her. She pulled my leg around her waist and gripped my hip, pressing into me hard but still not as fast as I would have liked.  
>"San, faster, please," I couldn't fight the whine that tainted my voice.<p>

She stayed silent over me but still answered by slipping a second finger into me.

"Oh, god, San," I moaned loudly, finally opening my eyes.

"Mhum," she hummed, and I saw her smiling.

"I hate you," I tried grinding down to her hand.

She stilled my hip quickly and added more force to her thrusts rather than speed, "Liar."

I groaned, tilting my head back until I felt her curl her fingers up inside of me. I dropped my hand from her hair to grip the sheet below me slightly as she built up a pattern. In. Curl. Out. Repeat. I was throbbing with pleasure and soon her pace really had seemed worth it. She found a spot inside me that had me quaking beneath her and she lavished me with the attention. While her motions were still slowed it drug out the feeling she let settle through me and as I pressed myself back to her I was surprised that that electricity rushing through me didn't shock her as well.

I panted into her skin while she held me for a moment. I think that should have been the moment when one of us should have been able to admit we'd gotten a lot closer than either had really expected. But we didn't. She was too caught up in the feeling of being with someone, so willing to except the half truths that made up what her younger self would have deemed a relationship, but every so often, without prodding, an honest to goodness truth would slip through and she liked it. I had found myself clinging to her, maybe for the sake of not losing somebody else who'd become a fixture in my life without making me feel like I was imposing. Our intentions started simply and escalated as we became more selfish, but we allowed ourselves to be that way. And even though neither of us would admit it, or even know why our relationless relationship lasted so long, we couldn't deny how right it felt.

"Still hate me?" She placed kisses from my temple to my cheek.

"So much," I sighed before turning my head to press my lips to hers.

She beamed against my lips and pulled out of my quickly, "Best celebration I've partaken in."

"I'd have to agree," I watched her bring her hand to her mouth but I took it between my own, sliding my tongue over her fingers.

"Maybe I should go order dinner," she laughed as I took them in my mouth, moaning at my own taste.

"I might not mind skipping it for one night," I offered, relinquishing her fingers.

"Oh, so mind blowing sex is all it takes to keep you from riding my ass?" She moved to my side, letting her arm linger over my stomach.

"Can't say I won't ride your ass, but if you make me cum like that again I might at least pull your hair," I smirked at the surprise that crossed her face.

"Well then," she smirked, and I hadn't realized how much I enjoyed that look, Santana had a gorgeous, heart-stopping smile, but her smirk always stirred an excitement in me, "I'll have to keep that in mind."

"You do that," I turned my head to see her fully.

She lifted her hand from my stomach to brush my cheek with her knuckles and I let my eyes slip closed once more. I turned to kiss her hand gently. I felt her eyes on me as she continued her gentle caresses. I could tell something was on her mind but I was happy to just be with her and pushing probably wouldn't have gotten us anywhere. It was selfish to not concern myself with her thoughts but that's what we became. Supposedly relationships were meant to make you a better person, because you were supposed to be willing to be selfless. I wanted to stay be a horrible in Santana's arms, selfishly enjoying her undeserved affection, and as far as I knew she wanted it too.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Ok so legit, I was going to go into some serious details about the day Santana took Rachel to work with her. But I accidentally copied over that whole chapter with what was supposed to be chapter eleven. I hope you guys enjoy this more though.**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

The week Santana had to work was horrible. When she said she had to work all week she wasn't lying. From six in the morning to six at night she was at the studio. She admitted it wasn't the most physically straining job but it was long and tedious. I offered to go with her a few days but she wouldn't let me.

Her wariness hardly kept her from coming to get me after work. Granted, she was hardly awake after that. Every afternoon she'd wait in my dressing room like usual or outside with the fans if she forgot her pass. It was amusing to say the least, watching her drift to sleep in the middle of conversations. I had to grudgingly call a cab for us when she was too stubborn to admit she was too tired to walk and I knew I couldn't carry her.

The last night was by far the best. I convinced her to go back to my place. I made dinner and she ate it with minimal complaining. I put on a movie but I doubted she'd make it all the way through. We mostly just talked through the parts she was awake for.

"Christmas is coming up," I pointed out while gentle fingers brushed soothingly along the waistband of my shorts.

"Thought you were Jewish," she mumbled into my hair.

"Not practicing," I shrugged.

"I suppose you expect a present," she teased through a yawn.

"No," I smiled, "I was just wondering what you were doing?"

"Sleeping, making some calls, happy holidays and all that," she nuzzled my hair.

"Well, I was thinking," I slid my hand down to lace with hers, "Maybe you could come over here, and spend it with me and my mom."

"I don't want to intrude," I felt her pull back from me a bit.

"You wouldn't be," I pressed back into her, seeking the contact, "You could bring Noah. He's not practicing either is he?"

I felt her shrug, "I don't know but I'm sure he'd be up for it."

"Great, then you're coming," I smiled a bit smugly, "But I have a show Christmas eve."

"I'll go," she slipped her arm further around my waist.

"Are you sure?" I worried my lip a bit.

"I wanna go," she kissed my head and proceeded to tease, "I wanna see you dance and sing at random intervals."

I hit her arm lightly and she laughed behind me. Soon enough her breathing evened out as the conversation died out and I groaned inwardly. I couldn't carry Santana and I didn't want to wake her. So I settled for pulling the small throw on the back of the couch down onto us. I can't say I'd been more excited about working on Christmas eve than that night.

}{

Christmas eve came and it was one of the first times I'd been nervous since I'd gotten the role. I didn't know where Santana was sitting but she promised she'd be there. It was the final show of the day so I knew she'd be at this one. I couldn't fight the huge grin on my face backstage and everyone noticed.

Eric came up and clapped me lightly on the back, "Grin any wider and we might get the idea you enjoy working on Christmas eve."

"Your girlfriend finally going to see the show instead of just stalking around back here?" Shay tossed in.

"She's not my girlfriend," I blushed slightly but my smile didn't falter.

"So she is here?" Eric prodded.

"Booty calls don't show up at your job," Shay pointed out, "Unless they're stalkers."

"She's not a booty call, she's-" I tried to argue.

"Your girlfriend," Eric added.

I just groaned.

"If she's not your girlfriend then go out with me," Shay attempted.

"She's not my girlfriend because I don't want one," I mumbled, my grin finally starting to slip away.

It was Shay's turn to groan but soon we were getting ready to go on. I did my best to check the audience without being too obvious but eventually I had to stop. I tried to focus on my role but even though I did it like I always would, it was harder to act the same with Shay on stage. The kissing scenes were especially hard to focus on, I'd fight the urge to pull away while it seemed like she was putting a lot more into the kisses. As soon as we reached intermission I was upset.

"Shay, what're you doing?" I demanded while I saw her.

"Acting," she offered.

"You can't just make out with me onstage!" I pointed out.

"I'm sure that's part of my role."

"Just cool it, you don't have to get pissed off because I won't go out with you."

"I'm just giving your girlfriend a show," She snarked.

I scowled at her once more before heading to my dressing room to change and wait out the intermission. Once we were back onstage Shay didn't let up but my annoyance with her was definitely a better point of focus than looking for Santana. Once the show was over I didn't even bother waiting for her. I changed quickly before I heard a knock at the door.

"I don't want to talk to you Shay," I shouted as I pulled on a shirt.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how you pronounce my name," a comfortingly familiar voice came through the door.

I opened it quickly before pulling the dark haired girl in. I looked her up and down grinning broadly, she was fit into a black pencil skirt, a black coat, a white t-shirt, a scarf, and black heels, "Aren't you a little overdressed?"

She looked down, shuffling her feet awkwardly and shrugged, "I wasn't sure what to wear."

"You look good though," I smiled and leaned up to kiss her.

"Oh," she remembered the boxes she had in her hand, "I brought you these, for your tree."

"You really didn't have to," I assured but still took the boxes.

"I wanted to, and you'll like 'em," she assured, "So, wanna explain why you invited me to watch you make out with your buddy onstage?"

I blushed slightly at that, "To hear me sing?"

"Mhum," she nodded and pulled me into another kiss, "Or watch soft core porn, seriously, she was all over you. And it's like that every night?"

I relaxed against her and played with the bow on one of the boxes, "Kissing yes, but she's not too thrilled that you're here."

She smirked at that, "In that case you might want to open that," she gestured to the longer of the two boxes, "While we're here."

I looked down at the box, worry clear on my face, "I think I'll wait until tomorrow."

"You'll like it, I swear," she assured, "So should we go?"

"Mhum, but I want to go tell a couple people happy holidays," I took her hand and kissed her once more before leading her out of the room.

The cast had gathered around a small table with a bottle of champagne and plastic glasses. Shay must have caught sight of us because she moved to the other side of the group while I move up alongside Eric, Santana in tow.

"So, this is the one that has Shay throwing a tantrum," he grinned and elbowed me playfully.

"San, this is Eric, Eric this is Santana," I introduced them as he held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you," she offered, taking his hand.

"So you're the girlfriend," he shook their hands until they dropped them.

She looked down at me with a raised eyebrow but her smile didn't falter, "I am?"

"She's not my girlfriend, she just-" I shrugged, blushing slightly.

"Comes by every afternoon and brought gifts?" He supplied, taking note of the boxes in hand.

"Yeah," I shrugged.

"Well, not-girlfriend, it was nice meeting you," he patted her back and went to go tease Shay.

"It's nice to know not all your friends hate me," she offered, grinning broadly.

"Stop grinning like that," I shoved her lightly before I let her lead me out.

"Grinning like what?" She asked, sliding her arm over my shoulder.

I just shook my head and slid my arm around her waist before we left. It was definitely too cold to walk, especially with Santana in a skirt. So she called a cab, and I relaxed into her side, picking at the bow on the gift box. They were both really nice. Red paper with gold stars covering them and gold ribbon was tied on both of them; actual gold ribbon instead of just a cheap bow. I looked up to the girl next to me.

"You can open them if you want," she offered.

I shook my head, "I really should wait, I mean in the spirit of Christmas it would only be right wouldn't it?"

She shrugged, "I don't care."

"You wrapped these? And tied the ribbon?"

She just nodded and shrugged.

"Nobody actually ties ribbons," I pointed out.

"I had to youtube that," she laughed.

"I can't wait to open them," I looked back down to the packages, "I don't think I wrapped yours nearly as nicely."

"I can't wait either," she smiled playfully at me.

}{

Soon enough we were at my apartment, I slipped my gifts under the tree with a few others and we settled onto the couch, my mother included. She laid across the main part while I sat opposite her with my back against the arm and Santana curled across the lounge part with her head on my lap. We made it through few movies before we each voiced our own complaints. Babes in toy land, Bad Santa, Black Christmas, and the Nightmare before Halloween left a little to be desired for all of us.

"Isn't there a sequel to Bad Santa?" my mother asked Santana.

"I don't think I have it," she looked through the collection of movies we'd all contributed to.

I glared at both of them, "That was a horrible movie! How can that even be considered a Christmas movie? The language was fowl and the overall themes were reprehensible. How could you two even consider that a holiday movie? It was highly inappropriate."

It was silent for a moment, my mother stared at me boredly over her glass of wine, and Santana looked almost confused, "That's sort of the point."

"Well we aren't watching anything else animated," Mom mumbled.

"What? Why?" I whined slightly.

Santana chuckled, "I've got it," and held up a movie case.

"Yes!" Mom shouted.

"I thought you said nothing animated," I took the case and scowled.

"I can settle," she shrugged.

Santana stood up and took the DVD out, placing it in the player.

"It's not even a Christmas movie," I grumbled.

"Close enough," Santana assured as she laid back down.

"Could we at least save this for when Noah get's here?" I tried putting it off.

"We can watch it again," my mom grinned and Santana nodded.

We sat through Adam Sandler's eight crazy nights. My mother and Santana laughing like children while I huffed every so often. I don't know when they got close enough to double team me, but they did. Until the very end the laughed at the jokes that annoyed me. That was the last movie before we decided it was a good time to go to sleep. It was well after midnight but we still wanted to wait for Noah to open the gifts. Santana and I made our way to my bed quickly.

}{

The sun filtered in the window and I woke up under Santana. It wasn't uncomfortable but at some point our spooning turned into her almost on top of me as we both sprawled across the middle of my bed. I pulled out from under her a bit, enough that I could see my clock. I looked up and saw the screen that read that we were approaching noon before I jumped up, startling the girl.

"Oh my god Santana," I looked down at her, "It's noon, you have to call Noah!"  
>"What?" she grumbled, rolling onto her back and rubbing her eye with her palms.<p>

"Noah, he's coming over for Christmas." I hopped out of the bed and grabbed her phone off of the nightstand.

"Gave 'im the 'dress," she mumbled, peeking at me from behind one hand.

"Why didn't my alarm go off? We should have been up to call him," I tried pulling her up and only managed to get her sitting.

"Turned it off," she yawned stretching, "Puck said he'd get here when he could."

"You should still call him," I urged, setting the phone in her lap.

She waved me off and stood up, "Later. Come on."

She finally stood up and pulled me out of the room.

"Look," she urged me in to see my mother and Noah sitting on the couch talking, "It's all good." She leaned in and kissed my cheek.

"So, Puck, what'd you get me?" Santana asked as she went back to the lounge part of the couch.

He pointed to the three matching bags under the tree.

I settled in next to her, "So should we start opening this stuff?"

Santana slid down to sit next to the tree and hand things off.

My mother opened the necklace I'd gotten her, the Distorted Memories shirt Noah gave her, and the bath set my mom gave her. My mother gave Noah the pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade that apparently had been sitting in the refrigerator, he was very grateful for the last minute gift, San gave him a couple of video games, and I gave him a hoodie with some skull designs. Santana got the same shirt from Noah, a key to our apartment from my mom, much to my chagrin. Finally she came upon the poorly wrapped gift I'd gotten for her.

"I just thought," I shrugged, "I don't know. You might like to have it. In case you wanted to, I don't know," I dropped my eyes blushing slightly.

"Is it something sexy?" Noah teased.

"No!" I almost shouted.

Santana just chuckled and tore the paper off. Holding the small DVD in hand.

"You don't have to watch it or anything," I assured, "I just thought if you missed the show, or liked it you could watch."

"I loved it Rach," she grinned, "We can watch it next time we get to my place."

"You don't have to lie." I pointed out.

"I swear I did, I'll watch it all the time, even if it's not you singing," she held the copy of RENT in her hands.

After that all three urged gifts into my lap. Noah's bag, Santana's boxes, and my mom's own envelope. Surprisingly, I got a Distorted Memories shirt. My mother's package turned out to be a gift card to a small vegan restaurant with a suggestion of who I could possibly take to dinner. Santana made me save her gifts for last though.

"Don't," she almost jumped when I went for the long package first, "Save that for later."

I raised an eyebrow before opening the the larger and flatter box. When I looked down I was shocked.

"Is that your old one?" Noah looked to her after he peeked in the box.

"No, I got Quinn to get one from the school," she offered, not taking her eyes off of me.

I felt all three of their eyes on me as I slowly reached into the box and pulled another t-shirt out.

"Rach?" Santana asked.

"Baby?" I felt my mom's hand on my shoulder.

I sat silently for a moment, reading the red words on the light gray t-shirt. William McKinley High School ran across the top surrounding a large M and Physical Education was on the bottom, "This is where you guys went?"

I looked up from the shirt and felt my eyes water slightly but I fought the tears as Santana nodded slowly.

I gnawed my lip slowly before moving off the couch and into her lap, sliding my arms around her shoulders.

"I just thought since you always ask about Lima, you might like it," she explained wrapping her arms around me.

"I do," I nodded against her neck, still fighting tears.

"Wow," Noah, mumbled behind us, "Touching, that reminds me. I have to go call Beth and the folks. Don't forget your 'rents San." He walked out to the kitchen to make the call.

"Um," my mom looked over us, relaxing as she took in the scene, "Who's Beth?"

"His daughter," San explained. Piling her stuff.

"Oh," she nodded, "So, Santana, why don't you go get that call out of the way and Rachel and I will pick up so we can settle down for lunch and more movies."

She nodded and went to the bedroom for her call, although she hardly seemed thrilled to call her parents. I just stayed on her spot by the tree.

"I kind of want to know what's in that box," she pointed to the as of yet unopened gift from Santana.

"I doubt you do," I mumbled half-heartedly, still holding the shirt in my hands.

"You don't seem to thrilled about that gift though."

I shook my head slightly, "I am. I really like it, it's just," I held it up to my chest and looked up to her from my spot on the ground, "I could have had this shirt. She has one," I gnawed my lip slightly, "It's so faded and worn out."

My mom just nodded, "You're life could have been so different and she reminds you of that."

"Yeah," I sighed weakly.

"But she makes you happy too," she pointed out.

"I know," I smiled, "She really does."

"Maybe she's just showing you how similar your life can still be," she stood up, now actually picking up, "I doubt you would have been a very different person."

"You're right," I smiled up to my mom gratefully.

"Bethy said to tell you and San Merry Christmas," Puck grinned as he came back in but looked around for his friend.

"She's in the room, I'll go tell her," I stood up, taking both of our piles to my bed room.

She was still on the phone when I walked in so I just set everything on the bed next to her. I found her keys and slipped the apartment key onto her the ring while folding her shirt and setting her DVD on top of it. I placed my shirts in my dresser and set the gift card on top with my unopened box. Her conversation didn't seem to be to happy but I hardly understood the Spanish she was trying not to shout into the phone. I sat behind her and pressed my chin onto her shoulder, listening until she hung up.

"Are you alright?" I mumbled.

"Fine," she sighed, rubbing her temple.

"San," I prodded, feeling the need to push this time.

"It's fine, really," she tried again but I moved to sit before her.

I took her hand, "San?"

"Fine," she groaned lowly, "My mom's not exactly thrilled."

"About what?"

"Everything, as usual," she scowled at her lap, "She saw the magazine, I haven't called, she saw my movie, I haven't been home."

"Oh," I mumbled.

"A simple merry Christmas turns into "Are you just whoring yourself around New York?""

"You aren't," I assured, "She can't mean that."

"She does," she rolled her eyes, and tossed the phone onto the bed, "But that doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?" I asked worriedly.

She nodded, and plastered on a smile, "Yeah. So, did you really like your gift? I mean it's just some shirt, you can toss it if you don't want it."

"I loved it San," I smiled and leaned up on my knee to hug her.

"You didn't look like it right away," she mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I love the shirt," I only pulled away enough to look at her and smile.

"You want to open your other gift now?" She asked looking to the box.

"Sure," I nodded.

She went to get the box and handed it to me, smiling as she did.

I played with the box for a second before looking up to her, she gave an encouraging nod and I unwrapped it carefully. I found a white box before pushing the top off.

A light blush covered my cheeks as they lifted in a smile, "I'm glad you didn't let me open it out there."

"I knew you would be," she smirked, obviously more relaxed.

I lifted the toy to look it over. It was glass like Santana's own but obviously smaller. It had a handle as well but the actual shaft had a slight curve. I felt my mouth water slightly as I laid it back in the box and looked up to her.

"We could test it out," she offered, smirking.

As much as I wanted to I knew we couldn't, but I stood in front of her and slid my arms up around her neck to pull her into a kiss. It was gentle and I sighed comfortably when I felt her arms around my waist. She held me against her gently and we kept up the kiss until I leaned back onto my heels, "Merry Christmas Santana."

"Merry Christmas Rachel," she smiled down at me.

"Let's go, before my mom realizes what you got me," I joked and she laughed.

We went back into the living room to see Noah and my mom relaxing on the couch while Adam Sandler's eight crazy nights started again. I let my disapproval be known while Santana sat down and I nestled into her side. The three surrounding me laughed at the familiar jokes while I eventually just gave up the argument. We enjoyed the rest of the holiday in the same manner, until Noah had to leave and I convinced Santana to stay one more night.


	11. Chapter 11

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

In the last few months I can't say I'd expected so much good to come out of going to parties. At first it seemed like the farthest thing in the world from my mind but I can't say I minded meeting Santana, and on New Year's Eve I definitely didn't mind her pressed against my back, jumping up and down to the song Noah's band was playing onstage. I was far from used to the loud music and being mashed between so many other bodies but with Santana behind me it wasn't so bad.

"Good New Year's plans right?" The girl behind me leaned down to ask.

"What?" I shouted, up to her.

"Good New Years..." She let it trail off as she grabbed my hand and drug me away from the crowd before the stage.

"What did you say?" I asked as we reached the bar.

"Good New Year's Eve plans right?" She asked, grinning down at me.

"Oh, of course," I smiled back, taking a seat on a stool at the bar.

"I'll have two beers," Santana requested, leaning over me to the bar.

I pulled her forward slightly and pressed a kiss to her cheek, "Having a good time?"

"Mhum," she smiled, turning to kiss me back before the bartender cleared his throat to get her attention.

She took one and handed me the other, "So, how much longer until midnight?"

She checked her phone quickly, "'Bout half an hour."

"Let's go watch Noah," I suggested, finishing the beer and leading her back to the crowd, avoiding the jumbled pit of thrashing people.

Santana and I kept dancing for those thirty minutes. Sometimes we'd watch Noah dance around onstage and he'd catch sight of us and grin before focusing on his guitar again. I was glad I'd talked Santana into wearing the shirts Noah gave us for Christmas, he seemed happy about that, and I couldn't be unhappy at how the shirt fit her when I helped to pin it back. Finally Noah pushed his guitar to the side and the singer stepped to the side to let Noah speak. The crowd silenced a bit with the lack of music.

"Alright guys, you know what time it is," he announced as a cheer went up.

"Excited?" San mumbled into my ear.

I nodded and leaned back into her arms.

"We're starting this year off right!" Noah announced on stage.

A chorus of, "Hell Yeah,"s and, "Bring it on,"s went up.

"I'm starting it right with my best bros," he gestured to the band, "my biggest fans," he waved over the audience, "And two of my favorite girls," he winked at us.

"Hell yeah you are," San shouted over my head.

"So let's get this year fucking started," he gave a shout before sliding his guitar back up front, a projection showed up on the wall behind them as he began counting down with everybody else in the building, "TEN!"

Santana pulled me into her arms as the roar went up, "NINE!"

I turned around to face her, "EIGHT!"

She grinned at the boy on stage and gave him a quick fist pump, "SEVEN!"

She smiled down at me, "SIX!"

I stood on my toes and slid my arms around her neck, "FIVE!"

She pulled me tightly against her, "FOUR!"

She bit her lip nervously, "THREE!"

I licked mine expectantly, "TWO!"

I pulled her down so our foreheads met, "ONE!"

I hoped for some sweet kiss liked you'd see in a movie or even an erotic one that would stir my emotions. Instead someone bumped into me, spilling beer down the back of my shirt and making me press my lips lips to Santana's chin and sending us back onto the the floor, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

}{

"It's fine, I swear," Santana kept the smile from her lips as she assured me my face wasn't marred.

"But there was blood," I whined slightly.

"Just a little, it's just a small cut and it already stopped," she stroked my lip gently with her thumb and held it up, "See?"

I looked to the mirror, taking stock of my appearance, the red line seemed so huge but I took Santana's word, moving onto my next complaint, "We didn't even get our kiss."

Soon I felt her palm on my cheek as she brought my attention from the mirror to her eyes and I relaxed into the cliche kiss I'd been hoping for before as the girl before me mumbled, "Happy New Years."

"Hurry up in there!" and a banging at the door drew my attention away from the kiss.

"Move the fuck on!" Santana yelled back before kissing me again.

I laughed and pulled back, "We should probably get back out there, Noah's getting off of the stage soon isn't he?"

She nodded, "Mhum."

I lead her out of the small restroom, past an angry line of people and to the bar where we waited for Noah. Santana kept scolding me for licking my lip over but I felt a bit self-conscious about the small injury.

"Woah, did you let her get in a fight?" Noah asked as he finally came off the stage, most of the patrons of the small club had dissipated.

"Some ass bumped into us when we tried to kiss," San laughed.

"Aw," Puck elbowed Santana playfully, "You spendin' New Year's with your girl?"

I blushed slightly as I looked between them.

"Shut up Puckerman, I didn't see you getting your holiday mack on," she countered.

"Please, lead guitarist in an insanely awesome band," He waved over his body.

"Oh, trust, the band's fine," She gestured to her shirt in a similar manner, "Front man, not so much."

"Oh, you love the Puckeroni," he smirked haughtily, "Right Rach?"

"Well," I looked between them, "Um, San, you want another beer right?"

Santana laughed and clapped while Noah groaned.

I leaned forward to order three beers but when I leaned back I saw the two glaring intently at each other, a silent conversation obviously passing between them.

"I have to go get everything off the stage," Noah took the beer and leaned down to hug me, "Happy New Year's Rachel."

I hugged him back, confused, "Happy New Year's, Noah."

"So," Santana started, her expression relaxing from the pointed look she'd been sharing with Noah, "Are we going to my place or yours?"

"What was that?" I asked, watching Noah disappear into the crowd still gathered by the stage listening to whatever the DJ was playing.

"He's been bugging me about something, it's not important," she waved it off, taking her beer.

I was skeptical, "Then tell me, maybe I could give my opinion."

"It's not really worth getting into," she shrugged.

I sipped my own beer, "Maybe it is."

"You aren't letting this go, are you?" She smirked as she began giving in.

I shook my head, "No."

"That's too bad," she shrugged.

"San, come on," I pleaded.

"Come on, what?" She teased.

"Tell me what you and Noah were talking about," I couldn't keep the whining tone out of my voice.

"What do I get out of telling you?" She posed, an entertained eyebrow raised.

"My affection," I suggested, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

She laughed, "You really want to know, huh?"

I nodded, turning her head to meet our lips, mumbling sexily, "I really want to, San."

"Alright," she pulled me against her, "You've got me," she pressed a chaste kiss to my lips before sighing, "I'll tell you."

"Really?" I asked excitedly, grinning at her.

"At the apartment," she nodded.

I only groaned but finished my beer quickly and urged her to do the same.

}{

"Will you tell me already?" I asked, leading her into the apartment.

"Can I get inside first?" She laughed.

I groaned and waited at the door while she took her time locking it and kicking off her shoes, "You're stalling."

"I'm taking my time," She corrected.

I scowled at her while she made her way into the kitchen, "What're you doing now?"

She opened the fridge and held up a water bottle, "Avoiding a hangover."

"You hardly even drank," I scowled.

"Still," she shrugged, smirking at my frustration.

Then an idea came to me and a smirk of my own appeared, "I'll be waiting then," I assured as I walked into her bedroom.

It took a minute before she followed, "Waiting, huh?"

"Mhum," I took a seat on the bed and started tugging my shirt off.

"You wait naked?" She asked, walking to the bed.

"Uh huh," I unzipped my jeans and began urging them down my hips.

"Interesting," She put the water bottle onto the nightstand and sat down next to me.

"Will you tell me now?" I asked, the jeans just above my knees.

"You're very hard to distract, you know that?" She pointed out, following the clothing with her eyes.

"Wish I could say the same for you," I kicked the jeans off along with my shoes.

She nibbled her lip gently, "Wouldn't you rather we start off the new year on a good note?"

I reached up and stroked her cheek, "I'd be in a pretty good mood if you told me."

She groaned, leaning over me, "Wouldn't be so sure."

"Try me," I pulled her down into kiss.

"Well," she started hesitantly, "Puck got this idea, that this," she looked down between us, "thing, has gotten a lot more serious."

"Oh," I pulled back from the kiss slightly.

"But it doesn't matter 'cause you said you weren't looking for a relationship," she sat up quickly and grabbed her water bottle again.

"Are you?" I asked curiously as I followed and looked her over curiously.

There was a tense moment of silence before she finally answered, "I really didn't mind, at your show, when your friend asked if I was your girlfriend."

"You didn't?" I questioned.

She shook her head.

"San, do you remember what my mom gave me for Christmas?" I asked, taking on a more serious tone.

She turned back and gave a confused look, "A gift card for some restaurant right?"

"A gift card for me to take you on a date with," I corrected and then smiled, "Apparently my mom thinks there's more here too."

"How often is your mom wrong?" She ventured.

"Not very," I shrugged, moving to slide my arms around her shoulders, "You know," I kissed her forehead playfully, "I thought I liked it when you squirmed," she groaned as I continued, "But I might like seeing you nervous a lot more."

"I don't mind squirming for you," she mumbled leaning into me.

I wasn't exactly sure where we stood at the moment and I'd already gotten a lot more out of Santana than I'd hoped to that night, even if I usually didn't push her. We didn't talk about much more than Noah's performance that night.

}{

I woke up alone in the bed that had become as familiar as my own. I looked around but the crack in the door let me know Santana was awake, I tried not to worry too much about Santana letting me sleep late. I got up from the bed and remembered I was still in my underwear before going to the drawer Santana had designated as my own and pulling out my McKinley shirt. I tugged it on before walking out into the living room to see Santana on the couch with a box of cereal in hand.

"Do I even want to know what time it is?" I asked as I moved to sit on the arm of the couch.

"No, not really," she assured taking some cereal in hand and eating it.

I nodded and moved behind her to rest my head on her shoulder.

"So, I'm curious," she started nervously and I smiled into her neck, "Last night? What we talked about..." she trailed off.

"I mentioned taking you on a date," I kissed her neck gently, "And you didn't seem entirely opposed to the idea."

"So I wasn't drunk?" She sighed, relaxing back against me.

"Not unless you drank beforehand," I teased.

"I didn't," she mumbled, "You'd probably have had an easier time getting me to talk if I had."

"Noted," I hummed against her skin.

I hadn't noticed she'd given up on the cereal until she laid on her back, smirking up at me.

"Something on your mind?" I mused, leaning down to kiss her.

"I just think it's funny," she mumbled against my lips, "The morning after we met you were freaking out."

I felt a blush cross my face as I pulled back, "I'm still really sorry about that."

"It's fine," she followed kissing me again, "It's just, we spend almost everyday with each other now."

"We do," I nodded, kissing my way down her jaw and over her neck.

"And I can't help but wonder," she tilted her head for me.

"Hmm," I kissed across her collarbone.

"Do you still just want to play with my breasts?" She asked teasingly.

I groaned against her and rested my forehead on her shoulder, "You couldn't have forgotten that?"

"Oh, no I most definitely could not have," She laughed and brushed my cheeks gently, encouraging me to look up to her, "Because I damn sure don't mind."

I couldn't help but blush at her smirk, yes she'd just been shyly questioning last night but that look just fit so naturally on her face. I leaned up and continued the kiss we'd been sharing before while she moved my hands up to her chest. I licked my lips and palmed the soft mounds under my hands. She let out a soft moan. Her shirt from last night was in my way, but as I tugged it up I sighed, relieved to find she'd unpinned it. I urged it quickly over her head and removed her bra just as easily, enjoying the sight of her tanned skin.

I reached for her once more but this time Santana pressed up, shoving me against the back of the couch while she tugged my shirt up as well. Her tongue trailed over my lip and she swallowed my moans before pulling back to pull the shirt over my head. I reached to remove my bra but she stopped me, gripping my hands over my head, removing the bra herself and letting me go once she had it out of her way. She dipped her head quickly, taking my nipple between her lips to suck gently, and she began lapping at it gently with her tongue, mimicking each stroke on the opposite nipple with her thumb.

"San," I moaned and watched as she began trailing kisses down my body.

"Mhum," she reached the underwear I'd neglected to removed, kissing across the waistband teasingly.

"Hurry," I panted, reaching down a hand to lace my fingers in her hair, urging her on.

She just chuckled, "Is this the only time you're impatient?"

I nodded furiously, "Yes!"

"I guess I should listen to you then," She mumbled, slipping her finger below the waistband to draw them down slowly, kissing my skin as she exposed it.

"Like you ever do," I groaned bucking slightly at the feel of her lips.

She stopped when the cloth barely covered my sex and I growled my frustration, watching her lean on her elbow as an amused smile took over her face.

"What are you smiling at? Weren't you in the middle of something?" I sighed, my thighs rubbing together in an uncomfortable amount of need.

"I was in the middle of breakfast" she mumbled, placing her hand on my thigh to brush her thumb over the fabric, not really moving it.

"You were," I reached down to push the fabric away but she swatted my hand away, "Then you stopped."

"I get the feeling you aren't talking about the cereal," She mused.

I shook my head, but moaned in relief when she pulled me on top of her to straddle her hips, "Aren't you forgetting something?" I looked down to the cloth still crookedly covering me.

It was her turn to shake her head when she smirked at me while reaching forward to grip my underwear once more before a loud rip echoed throughout the room.

Even through the incensed shout of, "Santana," I couldn't hide the pooling heat between my thighs that I was sure Santana could feel.

"Yes?" She questioned, pressing her fingers down over me and finally reaching my slit.

"Oh god, Santana," I moaned, grinding down onto her fingers.

She licked her lips, pressing up to me and parting my lips, causing me to lift from her slightly. I felt her hand on my hip, urging me forward and I obliged, leaning forward and placing palms on either side of her head. The hand on my hip urged my face lower to collide with her lips in time for her to taste my moans at the stroke of her finger over my crux. I ground down onto her hand and felt her smile against my lips. I hadn't even realized my eyes were closed until she slipped into me and they widened.

"San, yes," I incited, earning a strong thrust.

"Mhum," she hummed, taking my lip gently between her teeth.

"Keep going," I panted, enjoying her thrusts as she forced me to sway forward with each thrust and follow back with each retraction.

She nodded, lavishing my lips with her own while she massaged my innermost nerves, setting a fire between my legs.

I couldn't focus on much else beside the fingers working inside me and the lips against my own. Her lips were busily massaging my own while her tongue hungrily tasted me. The fingers in me began curving mercilessly on the retractions and I shuddered over her. My arms shook slightly as I felt a familiar warmth building in my stomach. I panted and shook, ready to collapse but anticipating the release the digits between my legs promised. It wasn't until her thumb brushed my clit that I shook with pleasure while the fire at the apex of my thighs spread to the rest of my body and I gushed thoroughly onto the hand of the girl below me, ignoring the embarrassment sure to arise when we were through. She pumped into me forcefully until I was pressed firmly to her front, finally unable to hold myself up any longer.

I panted lowly into the neck to side of my face while hands gently roamed my body. Santana was nothing short of tender as her hands brushed from my hips, over my backside, past my shoulders, and finally comforting arms slipped around me. When I felt I'd relaxed enough I pressed contented kisses to Santana's neck. She sighed comfortably below me, giving me free rain as my affections became bolder, tilting her head for kisses, licks, and even allowing biting and sucking that we both knew would leave marks.

"We should talk," she finally forced out, hardly wanting to disrupt the tranquil environment we'd discovered.

"We would," I shrugged, kissing across her collarbone.

"If?" she questioned.

"If I didn't want to just bask in my post-coital bliss," I explained, finally resting my head on her shoulder, my lips pressed comfortably against her neck and her arms still around me.

"Sound reasoning," she assured.

I drifted to sleep in her arms, ignoring the nagging anxiety in the back of my mind, ignoring that she was right and we would have to talk. We'd come together expecting nothing more than a physical relationship from each other, but we'd obviously developed a lot more. I tried not to consider what we'd neglected to share with each other, what details we'd hidden away as too personal while we grew more and more intimate. I had my share of truths, and they made me wonder what Santana could have had to hide.


	12. Chapter 12

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

"So, how likely is it that your mom is going to give me a hard time?" Santana asked, hardly letting go of my waist the entire elevator ride up.

"I don't know, not very," I shrugged, leaning into the embrace, "She knows you pretty well, and she likes you."

"But like we haven't been dating, won't that be like points against me?" she sounded nervous.

"Probably," I teased, enjoying her reaction.

She groaned and rested her forehead on the top of mine.

Soon enough we were at the familiar apartment, and I was dragging her inside.

"Wait here," I instructed as we walked into the living room, "We can leave as soon as I change."

"But I can help," she mumbled into my hair.

I laughed unwrapping her arms from my waist, "Trust me, it'll go much faster if you don't."

"Besides, we get to have a little chat," my mother interrupted and I couldn't help but laugh as I felt Santana stiffen nervously. I was definitely enjoying this.

"Don't worry," I assured, kissing her cheek before reminding, "She likes you."

When I got to my room I wasn't entirely sure what to wear. Typically spending time with Santana meant wearing something comfortable because it wouldn't stay on long anyway, but now I actually had to consider our plans. It was still too cold for a skirt, and jeans seemed to casual. Santana had gone with a white button up and black slacks; not her usual but she still made it sexy. I dug through my closet, trying to think of something and groaned as I sat on my bed. Finally I got up again and settle on a black dress that barely came over my knees. I'd have to settle for riding in a car and we wouldn't be able to eat outside. I changed quickly and put on some light make up before going back to the living room, catching part of the conversation.

"No, she's never been a fan of blood," my mom seemed to reply.

"There was hardly any," Santana nodded, "and you can hardly see the cut."

"She's a diva," my mom nodded, "she was probably more upset about the kiss getting messed up."

At Santana's laugh I felt my face flush, "Glad to see you two can find so much joy in my suffering."

"It's not like that," San stood up, her grin conveying how much she'd relaxed.

"It's exactly like that," my mom followed, coming and holding my chin, examining the cut.

"I could have been seriously injured," I ground out, pulling back and licking my lip again, feeling the small cut.

"You landed on top of me," Santana reminded, "Don't start that again or you'll open it up."

"I liked you better nervous," I huffed slightly at the taller woman.

She laughed, "I'm sure. So should we leave?"

I nodded and took her hand, "Can you call a cab?" I looked down to my dress as an explanation.

I caught my mother's smile and blushed slightly.

"Are you sure?" Santana asked.

"Unless you'd prefer a Popsicle to a date then yes, I'm sure." I teased.

She pulled out her phone quickly and my mom came to me to mumble, "This," she gestured between me and San, "Should have happened a lot sooner."

"I like the way it happened," I replied back, smiling at my date.

"You do know this means you'll have to talk to her, right?" Her voice became a bit more serious.

I sighed, my smile faltering, and nodded.

"Alright, Rach, the cab should be here when we get downstairs," San came to me and slid her arm around my waist.

I nodded and relaxed into her side.

"Remember what I said, Santana," my mom smiled as we left.

"I will, Shelby," she nodded and we were back in the elevator.

}{

The restaurant was small, but it was comfortable. Santana was staring accusingly at her vegan "Fried Chicken," while I watched in amusement over my lasagna. I couldn't help but laugh as she tasted everything carefully, as if it would poison her.

"It's not going to kill you," I promised.

"It might," she argued, past a forkful of the supposed chicken.

"If it does I give you permission to haunt me," I laughed.

"I'm holding you to that," she said, relaxing a bit more.

She cleared her plate quickly but still seemed as if she were expecting some explosion to occur within her stomach.

"So what exactly did my mom want you to remember?" I asked, still working on my meal.

She took a drink quickly before answering, "Well, when I asked if she was going to grill me about what she'd do if I hurt your feelings or anything she said she didn't understand the point of giving me a heads up of what happens if I fuck up."

I couldn't help but laugh, "That's interesting."

"Very ominous," she nodded.

"Anything else?"

She nodded, her eyebrows furrowing in what looked like confusion, "She talked about like not pushing you, and how good I'd been for you and I got a little confused," she looked to me like I'd have the answers, "and she said you'd come around enough to talk to me about stuff."

I sighed, and put my fork down, my appetite disappearing, "That was too much."

"It wasn't, just," her nerves were returning, "I don't push you do I? And we talk, right?"

I smiled slightly, "You push me a lot, but it's good," I worried my lip, "And I love talking to you."

"But?" She asked, her expression was sort of hard to read. Somewhat happy, still confused, a little anxious.

"But, I don't want to put my issues on you," I finally admitted.

"What issues?" She asked, eying me curiously, and then shook her head, "Never mind, you don't have to tell me now, but I do want to know. Yeah, we were just hooking up for a while but you're my friend too."

I sighed and rubbed my temple slightly, "I know."

"I really do want to get to know you Rach," she assured, more confident than she had sounded all night.

I couldn't fight the smile on my lips, "I want the same."

"So," she asked, anxiety tinting her voice once more, "Are we actually dating now?"

I blushed at that and looked down to my plate, "I guess so."

}{

"I don't usually go home with someone after the first date," I pointed out.

"Aren't I lucky that you practically live here," San teased, kissing my head.

"I do not," I argued, taking the paper bag of deserts we'd gotten to the fridge.

"Have you seen my hairbrush?" She asked randomly.

"It's under the bathroom sink where I always put it," I mumbled, turning back to her.

She smirked cockily, "And the coffee filters?"

"Behind the granola bars in the cupboard over the fridge," I smiled, catching onto her game.

"And your clothes?" She pulled me into her arms.

"Farthest two drawers on the right and the right side of the closet," I rested my head on her chest.

"And why don't I have a hidden spare key anymore?" She nuzzled my hair.

I laughed, "Because you were too lazy to get a new one made after you gave it to me."

"So," she asked, her voice lowering, "What other first date rules are you going to break with me."

"I could think of a few," I mumbled, urging her into her room.

}{

"Oh god," I groaned, sliding one hand into my own hair and the other over my breast as I felt Santana's tongue working magic between my legs.

She pulled my core between her lips once more as her hand pressed to the small of my back helping me to keep my balance.

"I'm almost..." I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence as my thighs quivered on either side of her head.

She picked up the pace of her tongue on me and I shook violently over her, doing my best not to fall or press down onto her. She crawled out a bit until I was straddling her waist and pulled me forward to lay on her, kissing me and stroking my sides as I relaxed against her body.

"Why did you even let me leave the first day?" I asked against her lips, as I laced my fingers in her hair.

"Typically it's frowned upon to continue when someone begs you to stop," she shrugged, licking her lips.

I kissed her again, enjoying my taste on her, "It felt so good," I sighed before correcting, "It feels so good."

"I know," she smirked cockily.

"I'm just stroking your ego aren't I?" I asked laughing lightly.

"Just a little bit," she nodded.

I smiled and started kissing her neck while tracing light patterns down her stomach, "I'm sure I could find something better to stroke though."

"I'm sure," she moaned but slid her arms around my waist and urged my hand off of her.

"What?" I squirmed against her, trying to sit up to look her over.

"Can we talk?" She asked, letting me sit up.

I sighed and nodded, "About what?"

"Us?" She shrugged, reaching up to stroke my cheek, "There's so much I don't know about you."

I groaned at the affection but leaned into her touch anyway, "What do you want to know?"

She chewed her lip nervously, "The cars?"

I sighed, laying back down and pressing my cheek to her shoulder, "I thought you weren't going to push?"

"I'm not," she clarified, "I'm just curious."

My eyebrows knit together in frustration, "You can't ask about anything else?"

"Why is your last name different than your mom's?" She ceded.

I stiffened slightly and opted for the former question, "I was in a car accident," I considered giving her one of the half-truths we'd grown so fond of but shook my head, "Well, a couple of them."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Guilt coated her voice, "I would have never made you-"

I cut her off, "You wouldn't have made me and I still wouldn't be able to get into a car without freaking out."

"I shouldn't have made you though," she sat up with me in her arms.

I pressed my palms to her cheeks as I pulled back, "Listen San, if I didn't want to get in the cars with you I wouldn't have, but you always hold me and calm me down."

She nodded silently.

"My turn?" I asked, hoping to get the attention from me for the moment.

She nodded again.  
>I mulled it over, deciding what I wanted to know before settling on a question, "Why didn't you and Brittany work out?"<p>

She sighed, "It was mostly me," she began, "I was terrified of coming out."

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Because Lima was bad about that. My friend Kurt," she shook her head, "We weren't friends at the time, but when he came out it was hell. He was bullied to the point that he had to switch school for a" while."

"Oh," I felt my chest tighten at the thought.

"And I was in love with Brittany but I was so much more afraid of being labeled, I'd already based so much of my life on what others thought I really just didn't want to give them more ammo. I couldn't even tell her I loved her."

"So she left you because you were scared?" I asked.

"She left me because she found someone who would say they loved her," She mumbled.

"Artie," I nodded.

"Yeah," she whispered.

I urged her to lay back down and kissed her cheek gently.

"I guess with you, I kind of fell into that," she mumbled, "I got to be with you without having to admit to it."

"Quinn said you didn't like to talk," I said, laying back down on her.

"I don't," she laughed slightly, "But I want to with you."

"I'm glad," I mumbled kissing her shoulder.

She massaged my back gently and turned her head to kiss me.

"Can we stop the questions for the night?" I asked tiredly.

"If you want," she sounded just as drained.

}{

After stressing ourselves out by trying to act like a couple, Santana and I relaxed back into our usual patterns. She'd gotten more work every few weeks and I'd still wait for her after every show. Shay avoided me more and more as I stopped denying Santana and I were dating. My job was fairly monotonous, but during a specific call for her, I couldn't help but wonder if I'd have still been as upset if we hadn't officially started dating.

"Hello, Santana Lopez speaking," she said, not lifting her head from my lap.

I looked down at her curiously.

"Really? Wow, that's, um, a huge honor," she sounded unsure.

I played with her hair absently.

"I understand, it's just not my usual gig," she sounded more hesitant and looked up to me.

I raised a curious eyebrow.

"I'll get back to you by tomorrow, I swear," she promised and finally hung up.

"Who was that," I asked, my voice dripping with curiosity.

"My manager," she rolled onto her back, looking up at me.

"A job?" I asked, a bit disappointed.

"Sort of," she worried her lip, "Apparently Playboy wants me to do a shoot for them. Like on the cover and everything."

My eyes widened slightly as she said that, "What?"

"It's not something huge," She shrugged.

"I mean, I guess it's good you don't do stuff like that," I pointed out.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"You said you don't do stuff like that because of your breasts," I reminded.

"Obviously I wouldn't be the only one with fake breasts," she argued.

"That's just what you said," we were both obviously growing upset.

"Well maybe I shouldn't have, maybe this could help me get over that," she sat up, looking at me angrily.

"Maybe you could do that just as easily throwing those kinds of pictures out your window," I pointed out.

"I'm not allowed to decide what jobs I take now?" She demanded.

"I didn't say that, I just don't like the idea of you flashing yourself to the world," I scowled.

"Since when do you get to choose who I flash myself too," she was shouting now.

"Since I'm your girlfriend," I stood up, yelling back, "And I wouldn't appreciate the world seeing you act like some whore."

"But all of New York City gets to watch you make out with some chick," she argued, following me.

"That's my job Santana."

"Well this is my job," she looked to the phone in hand.

"Taking pictures, not getting fucked in front of a camera," I corrected.

She gave me a look that sent chills down my spine before turning and going to her room. I resisted the urge to follow as I heard her digging around before finally returning, a large black case in hand. She stood before me, seething and fidgeting with the clasps on the case in her anger.

"Well here, since it's my job to take pictures and you don't like the ones I want to take you can decide which ones I do," she shoved the case into my arms and stormed into her room before I had the chance to say anything. I winced as the door slammed and stared at it before settling back onto the couch.

I unclasped the case and lifted the lid to look inside. My anger eased a bit when I saw the Polaroid camera inside. I picked it up and looked it over, not entirely sure how to check the film. I held it for a moment, thinking about what she'd said. A wave of guilt settled over me and I sighed, standing up and going to her door, pressing my ear to it slightly, the camera in hand.

Inside I heard what sounded like papers fluttering around the room followed by a loud thud and a slight crack. I winced and opened the door slightly, worried about what I would find; with good reason as I saw Santana clutching her fist slightly as she sat on the bed, surround by what was once her portfolio. I walked over, careful not to step on any pictures and sat on the bed next to her.

"Let me see," I sat the camera behind her and took her hand, examining the small scratches and moving her fingers slightly.

She winced and pulled back but I didn't let her hand go, "I'm fine."

Nothing seemed broken but I had to ask, "What did you do?"

"Nothing," she mumbled, still trying to taking back her hand.

I held her hand up to kiss her knuckles gently, "I'm sorry."

She didn't say anything, she just let her arm go slack.

"It's not my choice what jobs you take," I sighed, "I can let you know what makes me unhappy but that's it."

"I wasn't going to take it anyway," she replied.

"I should have known," I mumbled carefully against her hand, pulling my legs up onto the bed in front of me.

She nodded, still not looking at me.

"I just," I worried my lip slightly, "Got a bit jealous."

"Of what?" She asked still not looking up.

"Of, everyone getting to see my amazing girlfriend naked," I tested, pressing my hand to her cheek to make her look up.

She was still scowling slightly.

"San, I'm sorry, I just got sort of possessive," I assured leaning over to kiss her cheek.

"You're bad at this whole, 'Apologizing,' thing," her expression relaxed.

I nodded and kissed the corner of her mouth, "But you're still going to forgive me."

She nodded silently and pulled me to her, nuzzling my hair.

I pressed my lips to hers gently.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I just wanted to say, I really appreciate you guys reviewing my stories. I know I've been a little slacking with the posting lately but thanks to everyone who follows and especially those who review, alert, and favorite like** DaPhoenix, Guyana Rose, and thesilentpath. I'm sorry if I've missed any of you. I'm not trying to bribe you or anything but I want you to know your praise, criticism, ideas, and opinions aren't falling on deaf ears. At three in the morning, or five in the afternoon it really does make any part of my day so much more exciting when I see I have even one more review.

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

I watched the open door, waiting for any sign of life to pass by. It had been at least twenty minutes but so far all I'd seen was one of Santana's neighbors with a small dog pass by. I'd only realized it wasn't them when I'd lifted the camera to see the elderly woman through the lens. She looked shocked and hustled to get out of the picture. As soon as I considered going to find them, I could hear them down the hall.

"No, turn it to my left," Santana's irritation was obvious from down the hall.

"I thought you said my left," Puck groaned in confusion.

"No, just do what I say," Santana barked, just as she reached her doorway, only to be shocked into silence by a bright flash.

"I'm five seconds from kicking you both out," she ground out, blinking rapidly.

"Hey," Noah shouted, "I haven't even moved in yet."

"I can get a head start on it," San offered, dropping the large mattress on the floor and leaning against the wall.

"Noah, why couldn't any of your band mates come help?" I asked, shaking the picture and watching as the scowling form of my girlfriend appeared.

He shrugged, rubbing his shoulder, "Combinations of work, kids, and laziness."

"And the promise of lesbians couldn't bribe anybody?" I joked, laying the picture on a small pile of others I'd taken since refusing to return it to Santana.

"It brought me didn't it?" He grinned cockily.

"That's all we really need," San rolled her eyes, "Don't you have to get that truck back to you friend?"

"Yeah," he pulled out some keys, "I'll be back in an hour." The boy was gone before we even blinked.

"Might it have been preferable that he be here to carry that," I gestured to the mattress, "Into the room?"

Santana looked between me and the mattress confused before her eyes widened and she jogged to the door and shouted "Puck!" But it was obvious he'd already left. She slammed her hand against the door frame and groaned.

"At least the boxes are already in," I shrugged, taking another picture.

"I'm going to break that thing," she ground out, kicking the mattress.

"You can't," I grinned, shaking the newest image, "It was a gift."

She rolled her eyes, "It wasn't a gift."

"You have it to me," I pointed out.

"I angrily shoved it to you and you kept it," she sighed picking up the small stack, "And have proceeded to take pictures of every damn thing you see."

"I don't take pictures of everything," I argued, smiling down at the image.

She held up one of her in her getting into a cab.

"I just take pictures of you.

"Why can't you take pictures of Shelby?" She whined.

"Because I believed her when she said she'd break it," I shrugged, holding up the single picture of my mother with a glass of wine. Apparently she said it made her seem like an alcoholic.

"Lucky me," she rolled her eyes.

I smirked, showing her the newest one, and straightening the pile of the rest. She looked it over before tossing it back on the counter. She scowled at the gadget in my hands. She'd obviously regretted giving it to me but I'd grown to like it. It was a small hobby, and she was my favorite subject by far.

Sometimes I'd catch her staring off into space and want more than anything to capture her, or I'd see her grinning broadly like a kid and need to remember that instance. As soon as the flash dissipated she'd be back to glaring at the black gadget and rubbing her eyes. I even had a few of her sleeping; her head on my lap while we watched a movie from her couch, her hair splayed over her shoulders, pillow, and sheets in my bed, and tiredly with her head on the counter in her kitchen after work. She hated those ones the most but I loved them.

"Why do you take so many?" She took the camera from my hand and lead me to the couch, pulling me to sit and resting her head on my lap like she always did.

"Because there's so much of you to see," I spread out the pictures like cards and she took one, looking it over. When she gave it back I saw it was one of her while she put her portfolio back together.

"You've seen plenty of me," She mumbled suggestively but it hardly reached her face as she studied the image.

I laid the stack next to her and stroked her hair, "But I like those moments especially, like when you're so focused, or so lost in thought, or-"

"Sleeping," She added, plucking another.

I tilted it to see her napping on the couch, half of her body falling off and her face covered entirely by hair.

"That's creepy," she mumbled, finally smiling.

I smiled back, leaning down to kiss her, "It could be worse, I could try taking them when you air dry."

"I'm pretty sure pictures like that are how you got the camera in the first place," she pointed out forgetting the pictures as she pushed herself up a bit to kiss me again.

I scooped up the pictures quickly before kissing her back, stacking them as I felt her arm around my neck. I hummed against her lips slightly before pulling back, "Well, you did tell me to decide which pictures you could take."

She smirked against my lips before we lapsed into a slight make out session, after I moved the pictures to floor of course.

}{

It took a good two hours for Noah to actually get back, but San and I hardly complained. She'd kept her promise after Christmas but it didn't mean I enjoyed watching RENT any less and I took any opportunity I could to convince San to watch with me. She kept her complaining to a minimum, except the only kind I enjoyed, really anything that involved me being the better Maureen. She even let me hum along without much input, and I rewarded her by not smacking her shoulder with every suggestion that she'd rather see me as Mimi, especially during Out Tonight. The peace came to an end with the movie's close and Noah's arrival shortly after. I was left on the couch between the displeased shouts of Santana and the rustling of furniture as Noah seemingly ignored him and continued moving in.

"Jesus, Puck you didn't even think about this did you? We both have to work and she's going to be here all summer," She shouted, following him in to the room with his mattress.

He just nodded and continued, laying it down.

"Do you even realize how much time we spend drinking? You can't do that with your kid here." She argued.

He just nodded again, waving her off as he came back for the broom.

"And, Jesus," she groaned loudly, "What about me and Rach? The neighbors know her by name! I don't think I need Beth thinking I'm murdering her."

I blushed furiously at that while Puck turned around, finally ready to acknowledge her complaints, "Shelby likes you, and I can get Beth out for stuff when you need privacy."

"Like what?" San ground out, "You can't take a seven year old to a club."

"My mom can babysit," I finally offered.

Santana gave me a look that clearly stated I wasn't helping and rubbed her temples.

"See, and I'm sure I can find a Chuck E. Cheese or something, it'll be fine. I mostly only work nights and we know you'd be damned if you ever worked nights, San." He grinned proudly. It was nice to know how much he cared about his daughter, even if it made me feel a pang of sadness.

"Whatever," she threw her hands up, walking to her room.

"You have your work cut out for you," he assured me, before locating the broom and taking it back to the former guest room.

I sighed and picked up my pictures, shut off the television, and grabbed my camera. Santana was in the room, fiddling with her phone when I came in, putting the pictures and camera on the nightstand while I climbed onto the bed next to her. I pressed into her side and kissed her cheek, trying to get her attention.

"He can just be so impulsive," she finally groaned, dropping the phone on her stomach.

I nodded and kissed her, "I know, but his heart is in a good place."

She groaned again, "Neither of us can take care of a kid, Quinn's never done this before, just totally trusted him."

"Maybe it'll be good for him," I assured, kissing her temple.

She just nodded, and rolled onto her side.

I let her wrap her arms around my waist and smiled playfully, "You should let me help you relax."

"And how would you do that?" She smirked, pecking my lips just as playfully.

"Well," I moved to straddle kiss her while sliding her shirt up her stomach, "I could start like this."

She nodded and sat up to let me take the shirt off before removing my own. She hadn't bothered with a bra so I got easy access to her and took advantage quickly.

"That always seems to relax you," I grinned cockily, stroking her nipples and enjoying her reactions.

"Oh it does," she moaned, reaching for my own bra and easily unclasping it from the front. I shrugged it off quickly before returning my attention to her.

I tried to focus while her hands met my own breasts but soon her one of her hands was moving down my body, "Wasn't I supposed to be relaxing you?"

"You are," she affirmed, slipping her hand into my shorts.

I moaned lowly but shook my head, taking her hand out.

"What? Why?" She asked, pouting as she looked up at me.

I couldn't help but laugh as I slid down and began pulling her own shorts with me, glad to find that underwear as a whole had just been skipped, at least on her part.

She licked her lips and sat up, still reaching for my own shorts, and I allowed her to remove them along with my underwear.

"Baby," I started, peppering on as much adorable as I possibly could.

"Hmm," she hummed, pulling me in for a rough kiss.

Our lips meshed and our tongues clashed for a moment before we had to pull away for air and I breathed, "You know you're gorgeous right?"

"I guess," she panted, a skeptical eyebrow raised.

"And you have an amazing body," I mumbled, pressing my lips to her jaw. My fingertips trailed gently down her stomach.

"I get this feeling," she moaned, her muscles fluttering below my fingertips, "That you want something that I wouldn't normally give you."

"Well," I breathed against her ear, "You have an amazing body and face and, while that is certainly not my only basis for being attracted to you, you use it to your advantage like nobody else and-"

"You're rambling," she pointed out, her eyebrows slowly knitting together.

I nodded and looked to the camera on the night stand, "Well..."

She followed my gaze and groaned slightly, "Rach."

"Please," I asked, sliding one hand over her hip and the other over her shoulder.

"No," she murmured, trying not to let me convince her.

I pressed against her and pleaded, allowing a small pout to appear,"Just for me, San?"  
>She groaned loudly and shook her head before ceding, "Fine."<p>

I grinned broadly and kissed her before grabbing the camera and checking that there was plenty of film left.

The girl below me laid back and scowled at the ceiling, probably still trying to figure out how I'd convinced her.

I knew exactly what picture I wanted first as I balanced the camera in one hand and slid down Santana's body again, situating myself slightly over her legs.

Her gaze slipped from the ceiling to me curiously as I brushed my fingertips up her thighs, "What're you doing?"

"Taking a picture," I smirked parting her legs slightly and slid my fingers between her glistening lips.

She gasped slightly and shook her head, "No, not like that."

"Of course not," I shook my head, teasing her clit playfully.

As she moaned I resisted the urge to take that picture. I've loved the faces Santana made for so long but now I couldn't help but compare them, wondering which was the best. As I dipped two fingers into her heat they just got better. Each thrust had her arching and thrusting and I found myself feeling almost trigger happy but I resisted. I didn't care for the waiting period between each photo and so I waited until I felt a familiar tightening around my fingers and I held the camera up. Santana's back arched slightly and one hand had made it's way into her hair while the other gripped the sheet at her side. The flash went off and I was pleased I'd held the camera right, exposing nothing below her waist. Her usual moans were accompanied by a slight groan as she closed her eyes and I took the picture, shaking it while I removed my fingers from her and brought them to my lips, enjoying the taste and the image in my hand.

As her breathing calmed she sat up and moved rested her head on my shoulder, looking at the picture, "You're right."

I hummed my curiosity, still enjoying the taste of her on my digits.

"I look amazing," She smirked and kissed my neck.

"You do," I nodded, watching as she took my fingers from my mouth and kissed my hand.

"So, does this mean I get a picture too?" She asked, pulling my arm around her neck.

I smiled and nodded, moving from the bed and setting the timer on the camera and climbing back onto her lap. A small beeping echoed through the small room as I quickly pulled the sheet around our waists and got us positioned. She became completely professional, allowing me to place her hands on my hips while I slid my farthest arm over her shoulder. I brought our foreheads together as the beeping sped up and tilted my head slightly. I gripped her wrist closest to the camera slightly and the amused smile she'd maintained the whole time eased into something more, it was hard to place, so hard to describe, but I suppose if I had to pick a word I'd say adoring.

The camera flashed and all I saw was white for a moment before the beautiful girl holding me came back into my view, just as our forms would do the same on the small square that just came from the camera. Ignoring my new understanding of Santana's contempt for the camera, I leaned forward and took the kiss we'd been posed for. It was comfortable as she began tracing gentle patterns against the small of my back. I hated the thought that the embrace would end but each chaste kiss or new diagram on my back was one closer to us having to part. I closed my eyes, hoping to make the rest of the world disappear while we settled together in the bed, ignoring the camera and the photos, and anything that wasn't between the barrier that Santana's arms formed around me.

"We should probably move," she pulled back slightly and mumbled against my lips.

"I don't want to," I sighed, pulling her back, into a kiss.

She smiled and licked my lips playfully, "Could I persuade you to?"

I moaned slightly and nodded, releasing my grip on her neck before she pulled me down to lay on her chest before she rolled us onto our sides and she stroked my hip soothingly. I would have settled for that but soon her hand was between our bodies, and as I'd predicted, the end came.

"San," Noah banged on the door, "I know you're getting your mack on and all but I don't know where your take out menus are."

She rolled over and groaned loudly into her pillow, pounding her fist next to it and I couldn't help but laugh as I moved behind her to kiss her shoulder, amusement overtaking my disappointment.

"Have you ever had a roommate before?" I asked against her skin.

She shook her head into the pillow and uttered a muffled, "No."

"This should be interesting then," I kissed her again before getting up to gather our clothes.

}{

Santana and Noah let me pick where we ordered from so, they ended up eating pizza and arguing while I listened to them argue about the bread sticks over my meatless spaghetti. They'd gotten two orders and spent the entire wait recounting stories about some restaurant back in Lima. By far my favorite was the story of Santana and the wheelbarrow, and as much as I prodded she wouldn't admit that it wasn't an exaggeration. When the food came the two were sorely disappointed at the results but they ate them anyway between bites of pizza.

"Why'd you get two orders if you're just going to complain?" I asked, looking between the boy in the laz-e-boy and the girl across from me on the couch.

"Because Santana Lopez ain't about to share no bread sticks," she sassed, waving the bread stick.

I stared horrified as she used the tone and looked to Noah for an answer.

He just laughed past his own bread stick, "She's from Lima Heights Adjacent."

I'd heard the statement before but I never understood, "Is there something wrong with that neighborhood?"

"There is everything wrong with Lima Heights Adjacent," Santana assured, a mischievous smirk on her face.

"If you count it being imaginary as wrong," Noah laughed.

She glared at him spitefully, "You don't know me Puck, I'm from the hood, I'll throw down right now if you want."

He almost dropped his food as he laughed, finally he caught his breath enough, "You lived in one of the biggest houses I've ever seen. Your attic had an attic and you had a walk in closet."

I looked at the girl curiously while she flushed and seethed at the same time, I'd never seen that shade of red before. I laughed and set my plate on the ground before leaning to kiss her cheek, "If it's any consolation, you're still my hardcore bad ass girlfriend."

"Damn straight," she nodded, beaming across at the boy.

"Oh yes, because couple's counseling is so bad ass," he teased.

We both stuck our tongues out at him.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So, extremely, insanely, absolutely, obscenely sorry that this took so long. In fact, I'm sorry all of my stories are taking so long. I just have this intense writers block lately. I'm working on it, and this really hit me so I knew I had to write it out before it passed. If it seems kind of choppy it's because it's combination of two totally different ideas for this one chapter. Hope you guys enjoy. As always, thanks to all you reviewers, I really do appreciate it. It encourages me and criticism really helps my writing as a whole.**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

Santana was right when she said I practically lived with her. I'd hardly noticed it until Noah moved in because at least when Santana had to work I'd go home. Now I actually had reason to stay around the apartment. One day comes to mind, when Santana had left early in the morning while Noah and I were alone for the day. I was in my usual place on the couch while we stared at the television. I had a white controller in hand, the same as Noah's, while he explained some video game to me.

"Which one's to kick again?" I asked anxiously while Noah's character, Scorpio, or something, mauled mine, Sonya.

"Just mash, you'll figure it out," he assured, while smashing every button on the top of the controller.

"Uh," I hesitated before smashing the four colorful buttons just as he'd been. I think I'd gotten in a few kicks before my character shifted back and forth while the game encourage Noah to finish me.

He grinned proudly before hitting a series of buttons and I watched as a gory scene proceeded. Scorpio gripped Sonya's neck and pulled her head off, drawing her spine along with it. The announcer uttered an ominous, "Fatality," before the screen went black.

"What was that? That was horrible!" I announced, glaring at the game.

"But you want to play again, huh?" He beamed before going back to the character selection scene.

I didn't answer; instead I just let him restart while I picked Sonya again.

We played for quite some time before I got annoyed that he wouldn't tell me how to do any of the fatality things. While they were far more gruesome than I believed any video game should be I still felt it was unfair. I hadn't realized how late it was until we'd shut down the game system and I had to leave for work. I hugged Noah and promised him a rematch when I returned.

}{

The play went as well as it normally did, and at the end, I was glad as usual to see Santana outside my door when I'd finished changing. She gave me her best smile, even through her obvious exhaustion. I was ready to take her home and rest, when that plan changed. Shay and I hadn't been speaking nearly as much since I had stopped discouraging everyone's jests about Santana being my girlfriend so it was a shock to see her walking towards me.

"Joe wants to see you," she announced, hardly making an effort to dilute her obvious annoyance with us.

"Alright," I nodded and turned back to Santana's confused look, "I'll just go real quickly, and you can wait in my dressing room for a moment."

She nodded and I followed Shay to Joe's office.

Joe's office wasn't so much an office as a desk surrounded by book cases and two desks far back from the stage. As Shay left me at the opening between the desks I knew what the director wanted with me. He'd been hinting at it for a few months, but I'd been avoiding the subject. Hell, even my manager had been calling about it. Now I really had to face it, but I didn't want to.

"Rachel," Joe smiled at me over the laptop in front of him. He closed it quickly.

"Hey, Joe," I smiled back, looking for the paper on the desk.

"You were amazing tonight, like every night," he assured standing up and offering me his seat.

"Thank you," I couldn't help but smile wider at that, but as he leaned against the desk and lifted up a folder it faltered a bit.

"You know this revival wouldn't have been nearly as successful without you, right?" He looked through the papers in the folder.

I shook my head slightly, "I'm sure Grace could have done fine," the understudy hardly had a chance to work with my attendance.

"You're right," he started, "She would have done fine, but you," he beamed proudly at me, "You have done magnificently."

I blushed at that.

"You're contract's coming to an end," he sighed.

"I know," I nodded.

"I sent the new one to your manager," he fiddled with what I assumed was either a copy of the new or the old contract, "But I get the feeling you're done here," he smiled sadly.

I nodded silently.

"Either way," his smile brightened as he closed the folder and set it down, "It was an honor to work with you Ms. Berry-Corcoran, and this production won't be the same if you leave."

I gave a weak smile and stood up, holding out a hand but he pulled me into his arms, "It was wonderful working with you as well."

There was still a few months left on my contract, I'd kept up with it well enough but I'd avoided this. I loved the production and was honored to be a part of the Broadway revival, but Joe had been right. I was done here. I'd achieved all I could and now I could move on, but that didn't mean I wouldn't miss this show. As I walked back to my room I couldn't help but think about what would be happening in the next few months. When I approached the door I smiled a bit more, I hadn't realized how much I was looking forward to the break after the show.

"What's got you all happy?" Santana asked from the folding chair in front of my mirror.

I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to tell Santana about my contract yet, so I just shrugged, "Happy to see you."

"Now if that doesn't make me feel special," she smirked playfully at me while I changed.

I just rolled my eyes and hurried up, ready to head back to her place.

Outside the fans were just as excited to see me as they were tonight. I took some pictures and signed some things while Santana hung back. A few fans even asked about her. I wasn't entirely sure how we were doing this, but when I looked back to her she just smiled. I told them it was just a thing but really it was more than that. After I escaped the flashes and questions, she hailed a cab, which she'd greatly improved at, and we settled into the car, my head on her shoulder and her hand brushing soothingly up and down my arm.

}{

When we got back to Santana's place I expected Noah to be there but he wasn't. San assumed he'd left for a show or something. I settled on the couch and turned on the television while she went into the kitchen. She was gone for a moment while I clicked through the channels, but then she fell on my lap, two beer bottles in hand and a bottle opener sticking out of her front pocket.

"I don't think you realize how much bigger you are than me," I scowled playfully at her, "You could have crushed me!"

"I'm pretty sure you just insulted me," she smirked, slipping one arm around my neck.

"Beautiful and smart, I see I've found a keeper," I rolled my eyes, taking the bottle opener from her pocket and a beer from her hand.

"Of course you have," she assured, switching bottles for me to open the second.

I settled back into the couch and slipped my empty left arm around her waist, "Do you plan on moving or should I just prepare for the circulation to cut off?"

"I think I'm staying," she leaned against me, sipping from her own bottle.

"Wonderful," I turned my head to kiss her shoulder before taking my own drink.

"So," she nuzzled my hair playfully, "I heard, from a little birdie," she kissed my head, "That you suck at video games."

"I do not suck; Noah just refused to explain to me how to play. How am I expected to perform well at anything, much less some overly gruesome game, if I'm not instructed in the proper techniques beforehand? And I completely believe that he was cheating! He wouldn't even teach me how to do the fatal things."

"Fatalities," she corrected.

"Yes, that. Besides that game was far too violent, that," I gestured to the white console, "Toy. It's meant for children isn't it? Who would even allow their children to play that? It was terrible. He ripped out my characters spine at least five times, that can't be fair."

"Is that it?" She asked, grinning down at me.

"Is what it?" I asked a little annoyed at her expression.

"Are you done being a sore loser?" She asked, completely laughing now.

"Wha- I am no- Santana Lopez stop laughing this instant," I demanded, shoving her off of my lap as she gave up the effort to contain her laughter.

"Rach," she breathed between a few laughs, trying not to tilt her bottle too much "Come back."

I huffed and went to her room, ignoring as she followed me.

"You're pretty cute when you storm out," she mumbled, tugging me into her arms.

I scowled at her, most of the playfulness gone.

"Would it make you feel better if I taught you how to play?" She mumbled, against my neck.

"Maybe," I ceded, letting her drag me back into the living room.

}{

"You kicked my shin," Santana stared blankly at the screen, "That's all you did. You just kicked my shin for a full minute."

"And I won," I beamed up at her from my spot on the floor between her legs.

"You kicked my shin," She repeated.

"You've established that," I giggled.

"I taught you everything I know, and you beat me by kicking my shin," her voice was blank.

"Mhum," I agreed, sipping my beer.

"You didn't even use a fatality," she sat back into the couch.

"Can we play again?" I asked, turning to ask.

"Definitely, I think you cheated," She sat up, taking us back to the character selection screen.

We sat around playing until well after midnight and Noah came home, fairly interested to watch us. They introduced me to the apparent rules of gaming that if you lose you have to hand over the controller, although Santana was more than generous with me, handing over the controller even when she won or letting me continue to play a couple of times.

"You taught her babality?" Noah looked to Santana incredulously after my character turned his into a baby that summoned some sort of lightning but proceeded to cry.

"Of course I did," she grinned cockily at him, "How else would she put you in your place?"

"You're one to talk, or should I let her shin kick you into your place?" He held out his own controller.

"Please," I assured them both, "I will gladly show you both your places in an orderly fashion."

They both gawked down at me, before Noah looked to her again, "Oh my god you broke her!"

"I didn't break her," San argued.

"She used to be nice, then you went and ruined her and now she's all cocky," he pointed to me.

"She can hear you," I reminded.

"Maybe you're right," San grinning down at me, "Still, I'm liking this ass kicking side. You wouldn't believe the rant she went into earlier."

"I still maintain that this game is far too violent for chi-" she cut me off by clapping her hand over my mouth.

"We don't need a repeat performance."

I tried biting her but she moved her hand.

"Wow, San, I knew you were bad news but corrupting poor little Rachel like that?" The boy teased as he stood up and stretched.

"I'm not that small," I argued.

"But I'm magically big enough to crush you," she mumbled into my hair, letting her arms slide lazily over my shoulders as she leaned forward.

"Yes," I smirked up at her.

"Told you you broke her," Noah assured moving towards his door, "But I'm about to crash."

"Night," we both called to him.

"So, I'm broken apparently?" I moved up, sitting on the couch between her legs.

I felt her lips on my shoulder and she nodded, "Apparently."

"And I'm guessing it's up to you to fix me?" I asked, letting my voice take on a more suggestive tone.

"I don't know," she shrugged, soft fingers now sliding my shirt down my shoulder, "I kind of like you all bad ass and cocky."

"Really?" I asked, giving her more access to my neck.

Her lips ghosted over my skin playfully, "Really."

}{

Arms draped loosely around my waist and lips brushing gently over the back of my neck. With my copy of Funny Girl playing I couldn't have thought of a better way to spend my afternoon off. Well, it might have been better if the gentle lips on my skin and the arms around my waist hadn't lurched away from me at the sound of an annoyingly familiar ringtone. I watched as the body that had been keeping me warm moved from the couch to take her call in the kitchen. Her back was to me for a moment, and I couldn't hear her over a song that would normally have my full attention. At least two scenes had passed before Santana hung up the phone and another before I realized she wasn't coming back. I slid from my spot on the couch and made my way to where she was staring at her phone, her eyebrows set in an expression I'd yet to see. I slipped my arms around her waist and nuzzled her shoulder before checking her phone to see a small calendar.

"Your manager?" I wondered.

She nodded silently, scrolling to next month.

"New job?"

"Yeah," she mumbled, before exiting the app.

I looked up to her, "Are you going to take it?"

She nodded silently, "Is anything important happening next month?"

I thought it over for a moment, not remembering anything more than the approaching end to my contracting, but I hadn't even bothered to tell my mother about that yet, "Nothing, why?"

"I might be sort of busy," she sounded almost guilty.

"That's great, right?" I couldn't foresee any reason for her to be guilty.

She worried her lip to me slightly, "In Miami."

"Oh," I felt a wave of disappointment settle before I plastered on a smile, "That'll be great right?"

"I guess," her tone matched mine.

"So you'll be gone all month?" I asked leaning my head on her shoulder.

"Just two weeks," she shrugged.

"And you want to go?" I asked.

She nodded, "I've been looking forward to it for a while.

"Then you should have fun," I urged. We still had a couple of weeks in the month, but I didn't want her to know how disappointed I'd be without her.

She leaned down to kiss me, "Are you sure I won't miss anything important?"

I shook my head, "Nothing too big."

She gave a soft smile, "At least you'll have Puck to keep you entertained."

"Is that supposed to cheer me up?" I teased.

"Not without me kicking his ass," she mumbled.

It took a moment before her meaning settled in and I blushed furiously, "I wouldn't," I let it trail off.

She chuckled before kissing me again, "Alright, then let's go rewind the movie."

We settled back into our positions and this once, I found myself unconcerned with Barbra Streisand's performance.

}{

Waiting for Santana to leave was almost torture. I couldn't exactly tell you when we became so attached at the hip. I couldn't tell you when the last time we'd been away from each other for more than a day was either. She'd noticed but definitely didn't complain as I became slightly clingier. There was hardly time spent apart as I awaited her upcoming trip. Trailing her each time she left a room and indulging her overactive libido far more than I even expected to keep up with. Noah seemed to notice though.

"San, we're out of beer," Noah mentioned as Santana watched our latest match of Mortal Kombat.

"Thanks for the update, I'll add it to the list of things I care about," She mumbled.

"I went on the last few runs, it's your turn," he pressed, mashing buttons while I maimed his character for our first round.

"Water was still drinkable, last time I checked," she shrugged.

"San," he whined.

"Ugh," she groaned and sat up, "Fine."

"I'll go with you," I offered, finishing up Noah's character easily.

"No," he shook his head, "I want a rematch."

"It's fine Rach, I'll just be back in a few," she gave me a smile and a quick kiss before going to her room to grab a coat and some shoes.

When she'd left, and I'd watched her leave, Noah's focus had shifted from the game entirely, "So, did she like admit to some terminal illness or something?"

"What?" I questioned, "No, it's just," I sighed and dropped the controller to my lap, "Even when it was just a fling," he scoffed at that, "We spent far more time together than apart."

"Two weeks is kind of a long time," he nodded.

"I shouldn't be this clingy," I sighed, "And she's being so patient with me."

"If it makes you feel any better, I think she kind of likes it," he grinned, "It's better than you like just going on with your life like you don't care."

"I suppose you're right," I nodded.

"Besides," he turned back to the screen and I followed, "I'll be here to keep your attention until she gets back."

"You two seem to think that's a helpful thought," I sighed teasingly.

"I can be very entertaining," his smirk grew smug.

I laughed at that, a bit more at eased than before. I realized I wanted to get something else out too, "Noah."

"Hmm," he nodded, scrolling through the characters.

"Would you like to come to one of my shows?" I offered.

"Totally," he grinned, "San said it was way sexier than she was expecting."

I rolled my eyes, "Alright, I'll make sure to save a ticket for you."

Soon, Santana was back with the "goods," as she'd put it. Noah really only had one beer and Santana pulled me onto the couch with her, offering a wine cooler as she relaxed back onto the couch. We all fell back into our previous activities until Noah admitted to having a brunch to work in the morning and left the controller to Santana. We finished another round before I let her lead me to her room.

}{

I, apparently, wasn't the only one to talk to Noah about San's upcoming trip. Her last couple days in town, he began showing up outside the theater with her. He was much easier to spot than Santana. Shay seemed confused, if not more upset, about the man joining Santana. If anything she'd been more upset to know about my contract. Most of the cast was sad. As I walked out of the theater, hugged and attended my fans, I couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty about not telling any of my friends or family.

"So, what am I signing for the lovely couple?" I asked as I approached the pair.

"The bill for dinner," San offered.

"Well, you don't have a magazine and I already have the playbill," Noah shrugged.

"This is a nice surprise," I grinned, sliding my arms around their waists as I took my place between them.

"Wanted to make sure Puck knew how to get here," Santana shrugged.

"I know how to get here," the man argued.

The Latina scoffed, "And back _on foot_." She emphasized the last part.

Apparently they'd been talking, "He really doesn't have to go through so much trouble."

"It's cool, Rach," he assured.

"I could just have my mom-"

Santana cut me off, "Puck can take you either way."

I didn't foresee myself winning this argument so I just nodded as the two lead me to a small restaurant where, for once, we sat down and ate together.

}{

Thong. Thong. Shirt. Shorts. Sweatpants. Shirt. Skirt. Heels. I watched as each item went sloppily into Santana's suitcase. It was just one compared to the multitude I remembered in the corner before her furniture arrived. I began taking everything out to fold and replace. There was a recurring pattern as I restored the clothes to the bag. All she really seemed to be packing was pajamas. Maybe one or two real outfits could be found as San returned with a bit more clothes.

"Shouldn't you, and this is just a suggestion to be taken as you please, pack more outfits than pajamas?" I wondered as I fingered the newest pile to be folded.

She shook her head, "It's a summer show," she held up a pair of short shorts, "Sort of. Really, I'm being paid to walk around a ship in a bikini."

I blushed slightly at that, "Is that appropriate."

"It's really big," she shrugged, "Some huge designers, investors, and retailers will be there."

"So you just walk around partially naked to show off the materials?"

"Yep," she nodded, "It's sort of like a cruise. There are a few more shows in between, but it's sort of just like a vacation."

"Sounds like fun," I sighed.

There was a moment of silence before she tugged me into her arms and nuzzled my hair, "Not particularly, since you won't be there."

I sighed, "I'm sorry for being so clingy."

"Trust me," she started, "I'd love to pack you up in my bag, but as sure as I am that you'd fit," I had to fight the urge to laugh as I smacked her arm gently, "It's just a couple of weeks. Then we'll be getting ready for Puckerminnie to get here."

"I bet Puck will be very happy about that," I nodded.

"And with what this is paying, I won't have to worry about a thing but spending time with you guys for a good long while," she kissed me gently as if to seal the promise.

"Alright," I sighed for the millionth time and continued packing.

}{

Noah had to work the day San left but Mom was more than willing to take the day off with me to take my girlfriend to the airport. As we left the ticket booth Sunglasses on her head, and dressed in short-shorts and a tank-top, I couldn't help but clutch Santana's hand. Mom hung back by the door while I said my good-bye. Really it shouldn't have been so difficult, but I had to fight to keep the disappointment from completely over-running my features. She kissed my head and rubbed my back gently, assuring me the trip would be over quickly and promising to call every day. I tried to convince her it was some sort of solace as she slipped her glasses on and left me with a kiss was far too intimate for public and a smirk that said she didn't care.

Mom waited for me until Santana was well past the security checkpoint before sliding her arm around my shoulder and leading me from the airport. I didn't talk much on the walk home, just sat in the living room while she put on movies. She even made lunch without complaining about the lack of meat. She walked me to work and gave me a worried look before I assured her Puck would be taking me walking me for the night.

I was not one to let my personal life interfere with work, but after I was quick to leave the theatre. Signing less than usual and taking fewer pictures before I found Noah obviously bored until he spotted me. He grinned until he took in my features. I can't say I was exactly upset, just not as happy as I'd have been if it were San there.

"She'll be back in no time," he assured, sliding his arm over my shoulder.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"So, where are we going'?" He asked.

"I guess I'll go with you, so you don't have to go out of your way," I sighed.

"I can take you home if you want," he offered.

"It's fine, really," I gave a smile.

"I told San I'd take care of you."

I shook my head, "I don't need to be taken care of."

"She knows that," he mumbled apologetically, "She just feels bad since she's not doing this."

I gave a more believable smile this time, "She's ridiculous."

"Can't say you don't like it though," he teased.

My smile broadened further, "If you really don't mind Noah, I guess I kind of want to go home."

"My pleasure," he nodded.

One train ride, and an elevator later, and Noah was denying my offer to pay for his cab back. He shrugged it off and assured me that a walk home might be pretty good for him anyway. Even at the offer of dinner he was ready to leave, citing he'd prefer meat. I headed inside and found Mom eating dinner on the couch. I went over and settled down, searching through the bag on the floor until I found a couple of boxes with "Veg" scrawled across them. I pulled one out with some chopsticks before looking to the screen.

"What're you watching?" I asked, looking to the screen. Some show with children prancing around and singing in what looked like a high school cafeteria.

"Nothing important," she mumbled over some chicken. She dropped her chopsticks into her box for a moment before checking her phone.

I settled in to watch whatever was on when my phone went off. I looked down to the screen to see the familiar name. When I glanced at her mom wasn't making much effort to hide a smirk that made me question both of them, but I answered the phone anyway, "Hey."

"Hey," I could hear music in the background, "How was work?"

I couldn't fight the smile as I got up off of the couch to take the call, "Same as always. How was your flight? Did everything go alright?"

"I mostly slept through it, although I'm not sure it was a good idea since the kid that sat next to me might have recognized me," she groaned.

I laughed, "How do you know?"

"He got this look on his face like he knew me from somewhere," she started, "And when he recognized me he kind of crossed his legs."

I made it to my room before I laughed loudly; much happier than I'd been the rest of the day, "I'm sure you made his day, San."

"I'm sure," I could imagine her smirking, "So tell me about your day. Puck got you home alright, right?"

"Of course," I sighed.

Somebody called Santana's name and she pulled the phone away, "I'll be right there," before bringing it back, "I've got to go, but before I do, I've got a surprise for you."

"What surprise?" I wondered a bit confused as to how she planned on surprising me.

"It took some string pulling," she began, "But put on some pajamas and go ask your mom for the DVD."

"How do you know I'm not in my pajamas already?" I wondered playfully as I went to my drawer.

I thought back to my mother checking her phone as my girlfriend replied mysteriously, "I have my ways."

"You put a lot of thought into this, huh?" I wondered as I slipped into my McKinley shirt and yoga pants.

"Of course," she sounded so cocky.

"Well, I guess this is goodnight?" I wondered as I pressed my hand to the door.

"I guess," she sighed, her tone more relaxed, "Night, Rach. I'll call you in the morning okay?"

"Alright," I smiled into the phone as it went dead. I tossed it onto my bed before going back into the living room. "Santana said to-"

Before I could even finish she gently tossed a paper-wrapped disk to me.

"What's this?" I looked to the small, disk, a messy scrawl not even revealing the title.

"Santana's idea," she shrugged, "Just put it in, we can watch together.

I slipped the DVD into the player before settling back onto the couch curiously.

A familiar panting echoed from the speakers. The camera eased back to reveal a very familiar form clad in only a black sports bra and matching boy shorts. I stared curiously as a recognizable voice came up, "I know what you're thinking. She's running in her underwear. She must have slept with the wrong person. Well, as true as that is, because I've slept with plenty of the wrong people, that's not why I'm running-" It was pretty interesting as I settled back. Santana wasn't too bad of an actress, and I couldn't help but wonder how many of the stunts she'd done on her own. I also wondered whose decision it was that she spend at least half of the movie clad in just her underwear.

When we finished the movie I had a pretty broad grin on. Mom seemed pleased that Santana's movie had managed to cheer me up. She wished me goodnight before heading off to her own room. I took the DVD to my room to watch once before finding a last text message from Santana, wishing me a goodnight. She really was making missing her a lot easier. I still wished she could have been there with me, but hearing her negotiate some deal, plot an escape, or maim some attackers on screen would have to suffice.

}{

Four days after Santana had left, I'd gotten used to just staying in my bed until work. She called me every morning and every night, but I still missed her. I was buried deep under my blankets when I felt my phone vibrating. I looked to see a text.

Santana: What are you doing?

Rachel: Nothing.

Santana: Really?

Rachel: What would you propose I do? Mom and Noah are at work.

Santana: Exercise, read, watch a musical, nag.

Rachel: I assure you, I'm fine doing nothing.

Santana: Want to see me?

Rachel: How?

Santana: Turn on the TV

I turned on my small television and stopped Santana's DVD. It took a moment but I finally found the channel Santana directed me to. I found her sitting with some man with a microphone, clad in a bikini top and unbuttoned short-shorts. The man was currently talking to another model. Santana had an obvious smirk on her face as she toyed with her cell-phone. The show must have been on a slight delay. Finally, the interviewer came to Santana.

"So, you're pretty busy there," he grinned cheekily, "You texting someone special?"

"You could say that," she gave her own grin.

"Speaking of which, what's up with these rumors about a fling with both Broadway Babe, Rachel Berry-Corcoran, and up-and-coming guitarist Noah Puckerman?"

San had an entertained expression on now, "Well, Noah and I are friends from back in high school so I've made a point of maintaining a friendship with him."

"And Rachel?" He urged.

"We're together." Her smirk became cocky as she took her glasses off.

The interviewer looked pretty thrilled to have gotten that news, "Congrats than." Then he looked to the camera and recapped, "You heard it hear folks, it's all about Rachel for this lovely lady. Let's see what name you guys can come up for them. How about Sanchel?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that. I couldn't explain the slightly giddy feeling of excitement that came with Santana claiming our relationship as she had on television. I wished I'd recorded it, but got past that as I shut the television off, I really didn't care about the rest of the models. I fell back to my bed and began typing out another response.

Rachel: Sanchel?

Santana: Not my choice, but it's kind of cute right?

Rachel: I suppose.

Santana: You don't mind do you?

Rachel: Of course not.

Santana: Good.

Rachel: So, you look pretty hot when you're all professional.

Santana: Of course.

After Santana's more impromptu surprise my day picked up. I actually got up to make a quick breakfast before working out. I cleaned up the house a bit and even made plans with Noah to go out for dinner rather than staying in. Work was a more helpful distraction today and as I left with Noah it was pretty good. We sat down at a small Italian restaurant before we went back to Santana's. We played a few rounds of Call of Duty, which Noah was pleased to find Santana had not taught me how to play yet. I fell asleep in her room, comforted by the familiarity of her bed.

}{

It wasn't until the second week of Santana's absence that I fell into another pit. Noah had left for work a few hours before and I sat in her bed, my pictures of her scattered across my stomach and the sheets at my sides. I was looking over a few. One of her sleeping in my bed, one air-drying on the couch, and the one I'd taken just as she came. I was so caught up in them it was a moment before I realized that my phone was going off. When I checked I was a bit surprised to see it was the very girl whose likeness I was just staring out. She'd already called this morning so I didn't expect another until this evening.

"What're you doing?" Her voice had a familiar tone, but I assumed I was reading it wrong.

"Lying in your bed," I offered.

"Mm," she moaned lowly, I heard what sounded like a door locking, "Perfect."

"For what?" I wondered.

"What're you wearing?" She asked quickly, ignoring my question.

I looked down to the tank top I bore, "A shirt."

"Take it off," she urged a shuffling sound in the background.

"For what? What's going on, San?" I asked, growing annoyed.

"I'm trying to get off and you're trying to interrogate me," she groaned into the phone.

"Oh," I blushed slightly, "Well, how do you plan on doing it?"

"I have a good ten minutes," she mumbled, "Please just go with it, Rach?"

I licked my lips, enjoying the slight pleading, "Fine."

"Take your shirt off," she started, "And lick your thumb."

I did as I was told, slipping my thumb between my lips.

"Now circle your nipple," she ordered, letting out a slight moan as I assumed she was doing the same.

I had a similar response as I followed her instruction.

"Pinch it lightly," she urged, her voice growing husky with want.

I did, and gave a louder response. Her own moans spurring me to continue.

"Fuck," she groaned, and her orders came more quickly this time, "What underwear are you wearing. Never mind, take 'em off."

I did, and bent my knees slightly, "What next?"

I could hear the amusement in her voice as she mumbled, "Someone's eager." I flushed as she went on, "Tell me Rachel," I could easily imagine her licking her lips, "How wet are you?"

My face was definitely warm, but as I brushed my fingertips up my thighs to my apex I felt heat. As I met my lips I felt a hot wetness and moaned the word, "Very."

"Oh," she sounded pleased, "Are you wet for me Rachel?"

"Yes," I barely got the word out as I waited for her next instruction.

"What would I do?" She asked past her own pleasure, obviously already setting a pace for herself.

I parted my folds to meet my clit but thought better; opting to take the path she would in order to answer her question. I circled my clit slowly, avoiding the waiting node for a moment to pant into the handset.

"Mm, remember what I'd do for you?" She asked, her breaths coming unevenly.

"Uh huh," I gave, finally sweeping across my clit.

"God, keep doing that," she answered, "Just like I would."

I brushed the sensitive bud progressively harder; my breaths coming quicker before I dipped my fingers lower, keening slightly as I dipped into myself.

She must have recognized the sound because she mimicked it a second later, "Oh shit, Rachel."

"Harder," I urged her, picking up my own pace.

As her moans became breathier and came faster I let my eyes slip closed, the image of her in the same position as me plastering the backs of my eyelids.

"San," I moaned almost embarrassingly loudly, "I'm going to-"

She cut me off with a loud moan of her own, "Cum with me Rachel."

I nodded, not entirely remembering that she couldn't see it, and quickened my pace, searching for the spot in me that Santana easily found. The pattern of our breaths came out of synch and we echoed each other's names lowly into the phones. The image of her panting alone in some room spurring me on, and sending me over a familiar edge until I could hear her reaching her climax just after mine. I don't remember who finished first, our cries melding to the point that I couldn't discern mine from hers.

Her breath slowed and I could hear the wet sound of her lips and tongue partaking in the pleasure that was rightfully mine, "I hate this, you know."

"Phone sex?" I panted, sitting up to search for my discarded underwear.

"No," she chuckled past her fingers, "Needing to resort to it."

"If it makes you feel better," I offered, "We can do it a little more when you get back."

She scoffed at that, "When I get back I'm taking you on the first surface I can find."

I moaned lowly at the thought, even if I knew I wasn't going to let it happen quite as she'd described, "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I'll find a way," she declared.

"I'm sure," I grabbed my underwear from the corner of the bed before pulling it back on.

"I have to go," she groaned, "But I'll call you tonight."

"Of course," I yawned, suddenly tired.

"Bye."

"Bye."

The line went flat once more and I set to the task of stacking my photos once more to place them on the nightstand. I relaxed into Santana's bed, comforted by the familiarity that came with the renewed presence of sex of any sort. I was also glad to know that soon Santana would be back to fill the bed with her presence.

}{

The night before Santana was meant to return, of course, was my last night. I went out of my way to make sure Noah would be able to get backstage afterwards, but as I texted him he seemed confused. I could imagine the oversized boy in his button up and gold tie asking for assistance finding his seat. Everyone was patting my back and wishing me a good performance. I got a few hugs, but I couldn't fight the overwhelming guilt for not letting Santana or Mom know about the night. When the time finally came, I put on the best performance I could.

More than once, we slipped out of our roles to embrace just a bit longer or remind each other how much we'd miss one another. I did my best to stay in character but as the rest of the cast felt the need to tell me how much they'd miss me, it was hard. Finally, the show was over, and I rushed to change in time to find Noah. He waited outside the stage door as I'd instructed and I tugged him backstage with me. Hardly anyone would refuse me this day.

"So, like, is that how the show usually goes?" He wondered, fidgeting with his tie.

"No, not really," I gave a sad smile.

"It was still pretty hot," he grinned.

"Is this another one?" Eric asked as we approached the small group that gathered to say goodbye.

"No," I assured, "San just couldn't make it."

"Is something going on?" Noah sounded pretty confused.

Eric looked to me curiously, "It's Rachel's last show. Her contract's up."

"Really?" he looked to me for an answer, "Guess I'll actually have to pay for dinner tonight."

I flushed slightly and shrugged, hoping he'd accept an explanation later, "Eric, can you keep Noah out of trouble for a minute?"

"I can stay out of trouble," he ground out.

"Of course I can Rae," the smaller man offered.

I moved to the center of the gathered group, "I really am going to miss all of you." I felt my eyes water a bit, after two years with everyone we'd grown close, "But I promise I'm leaving you all in good hands with Grace," I gestured to the young red-headed girl to my left. "It truly was a pleasure working with all of you and I look forward to any future opportunities we have together."

A stack of cards and small gifts were shoved into my arms as everyone formed, more or less, a line. Each person gave their best wishes and a hug or kiss on the cheek or forehead. Finally it came to Shay.

"Going to miss you, ya know?" She offered past a pretty sad smile.

"I know Shay, but we can hang out," I offered, although I wasn't entirely sure we could keep up with it.

"Or try," she snorted, "I've been kind of an ass."

"Kind of?" I teased.

"Like a huge ass," she ceded, "But you're still pretty cool. Wouldn't mind making out with you one more time though."

"Shay," I groaned.

"But I guess your porn star wouldn't be too thrilled with that," she offered.

I rolled my eyes before pulling her in for a hug.

Noah came to my side, and took the gifts, still giving me a questioning look. I assured him I'd answer when we got home. Outside my fans were just as sad to see me go. I spend a good twenty minutes offering hugs and photos and signing everything from playbills to body parts. Finally, after the many goodbyes Noah led me to a nearby restaurant, taking advantage of his more suave than usual outfit, and we sat down. We'd ordered our food and I organized my gifts by the time he finally asked about the performance.

"Did San know this was your last performance?" He wondered.

I shook my head, picking at a corner of wrapping paper.

"Why not?"

I sighed, "Nobody knew."

He just waited for me to continue.

"I just didn't want everyone to focus on it," I shrugged, "It's not even that big of a deal."

"San might have liked to go," he suggested.

I dropped my head guiltily until the food came and picked at it, "It was just a performance."

"But she could have been the one eating dinner with you," he suggested.

I nodded again, "You're right."

"I know," he gave me an apologetic grin, "So are you going to tell her or should I?"

"I will I sighed," finally taking a bite of my pasta.

She would be back tomorrow afternoon and I would tell her then. There was no purpose in ruining the end of her trip. Noah took me back to my apartment, and I dealt with the annoyance of my mother. I'd have loved to avoid telling her altogether but it was hard to explain all the gifts I had. She wasn't appeased until I promised to clear another drawer for her to separate her meat and dairy and agreed to let her take Santana and I out for dinner. I ended the night in my room, opening my gifts, reading the cards, and finally waiting for Santana's call. It was fairly one-sided. I listened, guiltily, as she told me about her last show and how much she hated the cat-walk. She told me how she couldn't wait to get back and I told her about dinner with Mom. She seemed pretty happy about it, but I still felt bad for not telling her about the show. After we said our goodnights I went to sleep, anticipating my girlfriends return.


	15. Chapter 15

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

Before Santana, I've realized, I was a very patient person. Waiting on auditions, calls, and everything else under the theatrical sun required that you be. For me, everything with Santana was instant. If she wanted to watch a movie our only deterrent was who got to pick, because she could only take so many musicals. If she was hungry most food in her house was easily and quickly prepared. Being with Santana left me without the patience I'd grown to depend on so much.

As you can imagine, any sort of patience would have been nice while waiting on Santana's arrival. Instead I had to work to entertain myself. Since he was at work, it made for a particularly tricky phone call as Noah walked me through how to turn on the Xbox and sign on to Santana's account, because he didn't want me to "ruin any of [his] stats." Although I tried not to question how he knew it, I was flattered to find out that her password was nodaybut2day.

After Noah hung up the game only held my attention for a solid fifteen minutes before maiming the computer controlled characters lost its appeal. I tried putting on a movie but going through Santana's small collection, nothing really caught my attention, even out of the few I'd contributed. Her copy of RENT just reminded me of what I'd soon be telling her. I just grabbed one of her mindless romantic comedies and slipped it in.

At least half way through the movie I found myself in need of some other point of focus. The fridge seemed as good a distraction as any so I dug through until I found a suitable lunch of fruit. After I finished, cleaning became an apparent option and by far the best use of my time. Of course, the kitchen was first, and by the time I finished it looked almost like it did the first time I'd been in there. The living room was next, and as much time as we spent in there I was surprised it didn't take longer than twenty minutes. Her room was the longest by far. I kept getting side-tracked; my pictures stacked on her night-stand required looking through, her portfolio required a curious examination, and once I'd finally finished reorganizing those I settled in the bed. Nothing else really came to mind except that a nap would help to pass the time.

}{

Soft arms sliding around my waist were what woke me up. I tried turning around only to feel lips brushing over my neck as they urged, "Don't get up."

"San?" I asked sleepily and slid my hands over the ones on my stomach.

"Mhum," she hummed against my hair.

"You're back?" I wondered, finally turning to face her. The room was darkened and I felt a bit disappointed I couldn't make out her features.

"Yeah," I could make out a grin.

I smiled and surged forward against her, kissing her roughly and slipping my hands into her hair.

"Good to know I was missed," she mumbled as I finally pulled away. Her hands were rubbing my back gently.

"Of course I missed you," I sighed into her skin as I nuzzled her neck gently.

We laid like that a little bit longer before she groaned playfully into the dark room, "Since you woke up anyway, what do you say to getting up to eat dinner?"

"I don't want to go anywhere," I whined slightly into her neck.

She chuckled, "Aren't you glad I thought far enough ahead to order dinner?"

"So glad," I smiled and followed her out of the room, watching curiously as she picked up some shorts off the floor by the door and tugged them on.

She turned the lights on as she walked to the kitchen and I noticed her outfit. She was just wearing a bikini top and the shorts she'd grabbed, but they showed off her sun-kissed skin excellently. As I followed her into the kitchen I couldn't help but be distracted by how dark her skin had gotten. Miami had obviously been good to her. She was opening a brown paper bag on the counter when I started running my fingertips slowly up her back. I licked my lips as she shivered and gave up on dinner.

"I'm not entirely sure," I mumbled as I tugged at the strings keeping the bathing suit top to her chest, "But didn't you have some sort of plan to take me on the first surface you could find?"

She turned around and I couldn't help but moan as I saw the smirk I'd become intimately familiar with, "Something like that."

I nibbled my lip and moved closer to press my lips to hers and finish untying her bikini, letting it fall to the floor as I reached the considerably paler and untouched skin beneath them, "Is this really what you came home in?"

Her breathing had sped up and I couldn't describe how much I'd missed the sound, "I had a t-shirt," she started looking around distractedly for it.

I ran one hand up her chest and pressed it to her cheek as I brought her attention back to me and pressed my lips to hers while I slipped the fingers of my other hand gently over her breast.

"I missed you," she moaned lowly.

I smiled against her lips and palmed her soft flesh, enjoying the sounds my life had grown somewhat empty without. I tugged her lip hungrily between my teeth and kneaded her breasts as I dropped my other to make sure I divulged attention to both. Her hands reached back to the counter to brace herself, I pushed her back gently until her back met the same surface. I couldn't fight the urge to press into her, sliding one hand to her hip to grip as I trailed the other down to the button of her shorts, glad to find she hadn't bothered with it. I licked her lip, begging for entrance and meetings hers gladly as I felt the partner to her top. I brushed over the barrier feeling the wetness already waiting for me.

Santana's hips bucked urgently against my hand and I enjoyed the taste of her moan before pushing the shorts down her thighs. I brushed my fingertips slowly up her thighs before reaching her apex. I'd hoped to fit in some more teasing but as I reached her heat I couldn't possibly wait and I doubted she could either. I brushed her clit once before she gave a moan that let me know she sought far more than that. She was more than eager as I slipped into her and I couldn't, in good faith, say that I wasn't either. We'd have probably spent all night celebrating her return in the kitchen if the door hadn't opened to reveal Noah carrying his own dinner.

"And here I was thinking Santana would be getting the treats tonight," the boy grinned cheekily.

I pulled out of her quickly, gaping at the boy as he closed the door and came to sit the pizza box and paper bag on the counter.

Santana groaned in displeasure as I pulled out and then in annoyance as she turned to yell, "What the hell is wrong with you? You couldn't stay out this one night? Or call?"

"I live here," he pointed out, opening up the pizza box, "Besides, how could I turn down dinner and a show?"

She just scowled at him tugged her shorts up and grabbed her top before storming off towards the room, mumbling, not so subtly, about how much she hated him.

"Got you a salad, figured I'd be nice and get dinner," he pushed the paper bag across the counter to me.

"Thank you," I mumbled uncertainly. I looked to the room curiously.

"You should probably go before she breaks something," he supplied over his slice of pizza.

I nodded and headed to the room, making sure to lock the door.

"Can you settle for the second surface I see?" she asked lazily from her bed, her annoyance more obvious on her face than in her voice.

"Definitely," I smiled, climbing on the edge and beginning to tug down her shorts and bottoms. I licked my lips at the sight of her, "You tan really well."

"I'd have probably enjoyed the constant sunscreen if it was you putting it on," she mentioned as she sat up and pulled me on top of her.

"You gave Noah quite the show," I pointed out, letting her tug my shirt off.

"He's seen more of me," she mumbled distractedly before realizing what she'd said and pausing her motions.

Even past my blush I chuckled at her nerves, "Not that that's earning you any favors."

"I didn't mean to say th-"

I cut her off with a quick kiss and started shoving my shorts down, "I know, just maybe put a little more effort into not encouraging him next time."

"Probably should have tried harder to cover up," she nodded, and urged me onto my side to pull the shorts off.

We would have pressed back together when a loud thud came at the door, "Santana, you're welcome back dinners getting cold."

Santana probably would have yelled out some insult or threat had I not covered her mouth with my hand and kissed her ear gently, "We have all night, let's go eat now."

She groaned into my hand and finally tugged my hand off, "He's lucky you're so polite."

"And hungry," I added, standing up and pulling her with me.

}{

"No numbers? At all?" Noah asked, astonished as he questioned Santana about her trip.

"See there's this girl," she started past her pizza, "She probably wouldn't like me getting other girls numbers. What was her name again? Rachel, you remember her right?"

I laughed at that and kissed some tomato sauce off her lip, "How could I forget?"

"But they'd be for me," he argued, "And you wouldn't mind, huh Rach?"

"I'm staying out of this," I shook my head playfully.

"You brought some of those bikinis back, right?" Noah asked curiously.

Santana glared at him past her pizza, "Yeah, I got a few, but where would I wear them?"

"Around the apartment, duh."

She rolled her eyes, "And since I'm just some rap video girl, I should probably just stick a hot tub in the corner over there."

He looked hopeful.

"I wouldn't be entirely opposed," I offered.

"Yes!" Noah cheered before offering me a high-five.

Santana looked like she remembered something as she asked, "Do you have to work tomorrow?"

All of my excitement at having her home vanished as she asked, "Uh, no, why?"

"I want to spend the day with you," she grinned cheekily.

"Of course," I offered my own smile, catching Noah's raised eyebrow as he looked at me.

"We can watch movies or whatever," Santana didn't seem to have noticed my nerves.

"Alright," I smiled. Noah didn't seem pleased as I avoided what I really should have told San, "Noah, can you clean up?"

"Yeah," he offered, still watching me, "Welcome her back in style."

"Gladly," I offered, leading Santana to the room.

}{

I wasn't exactly sure what I'd expected to wake up to. After thoroughly welcoming Santana back home, we were both practically dead to the world, although jet-lag might have contributed a bit to her weariness. I rolled over in the bed, clinging tightly to the form in my arms, nuzzling it and pulling it closer, only to realize it wasn't the Latina I'd hoped to wake up to, but one of her many pillows. I willed my eyes to open, although with the sleeping habits I'd picked up from Santana, it proved to be quite the task. Drawing myself from the bed was another story entirely but when I'd stretched and pulled some shorts and a shirt from my drawer before heading out to the kitchen, greeted by the scent of pancakes.

Santana was sitting at the bar, a plate of pancakes in front of her and a bottle of maple syrup. Her head was down and she seemed to be staring at the television. As I looked around there didn't seem to be any sign of Noah. I made my way to the kitchen, surprised to see that minimal damage had been caused and there was no sign of a fire. I finally cleared my throat, gaining a jump and then a grin from the girl waiting for me. She waved me over and pulled me between her legs.

"I made breakfast," she looked like a toddler with a macaroni masterpiece.

"I can see that," I looked over the plate curiously. "I wasn't aware that you can cook."

She scoffed, pulling the plate forward, "Just because I don't, doesn't mean I can't."

"Valid point," I offered, "But nothing else but pancakes occurred to you?"

She looked down to the plate; her eyebrows knit together, "It was a quick run to the corner store." When she looked back up to me she shrugged and grabbed a fork to hand to me, "And I don't actually pay attention when you shop so I didn't know what you can eat."

I glared playfully at her, "Let's see what I can sneak into your cart next time then."

She just waved me on and pressed a kiss to my temple, "Just try 'em."

I poured a bit of syrup over the pancakes before cutting a neat triangle and bringing it up to my mouth. I brought my other hand up under my mouth as I mumbled, "These are amazing!"

"You don't have to sound so surprised," she challenged.

"Well," I shrugged, finishing my first bite to start another.

"Har har," she nuzzled my hair gently.

"So, what exactly were you hoping to do today?" I wondered, leaning into her as I ate.

"I don't know; maybe just watch movies, talk, cuddle, catch up."

"It's not like you left for a year or anything."

"I guess," She kissed my cheek before sliding off of her stool; "Finish up and I'll go get a blanket."

She took off to the room before I had a chance to say anything else. I could only eat about half of what she made before I had to stick the rest in the microwave, hoping Noah would appreciate them.

}{

Arms holding me tightly to a warm chest, lips brushing up and down my shoulder, and Funny Girl on the screen; it was almost as if the last month hadn't occurred. We were back in the same positions, doing the exact same thing, and I half expected Santana's phone to draw her away from me, even with the realization that she'd lost it in the expanse of her bed. The only difference was that last month I knew I'd be going to work the next day.

"Would it be weird if I said I'd started to miss Babs a little bit?" She wondered into my neck.

"Of course not," I sighed, "A talent like hers is not something you can easily quite cold-turkey."

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

I shook my head slightly, weighing the pros and cons of disrupting our moment of comfort, "Nothing really."

"What is it?" She leaned up on her elbow to look down at me.

I nibbled my lip slightly, deciding on a way to say this, "What do you think you'll be doing tomorrow?"

"Sleeping," she mumbled, trying to figure out what I was talking about.

"Can I stay here with you?"

"Of course but don't you have-"

I shook my head slightly, rolling onto my back to look up at her, "Not anymore."

Her brows knit together, "What do you mean? You didn't get fired did you?"

"No," I assured, "Nothing like that. Just, my contract ended while you were gone."

"Oh," she relaxed back into the couch.

"It's not a big deal," I promised.

She nodded, looking, well, past the screen in front of us.

"Puck came and got me every night like you wanted," I reminded.

"He told me," her voice took on a sort of indifferent tone.

"He went to the last show with me," I sighed, resting back onto the couch.

She didn't respond.

I reached up to stroke her cheek with my fingertips but if she noticed she didn't let it show, "He said you would have wanted to go, and take me out after dinner."

Her jaw clenched at that but she moved from behind me to stand up, "I'll be right back, I have to go make a call."

I watched her walk to the bedroom and close the door behind her. The normally silent click of the door echoed around the room for a moment. I sat up on the couch, listening intently to for this phone call. It was a slight hum at first, but it soon escalated.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" She demanded, struggling to keep her voice down.

I wished I could have heard the response, but I walked to the door to listen for her.

"She just told me," she growled, "But you're supposed to be my best friend."

I got a better idea of who she was talking to.

"No, this isn't about my stupid reputation, I mean, yeah, it makes me look bad not being there, but I could have been there," her voice grew softer, more hurt, "I'm trying to be there for her."

I wanted to take the blame; it really was my fault for not telling her.

"I didn't need the job, I should have just stayed anyway," she groaned.

I rested my forehead on the door, feeling my guilt grow.

"Yeah, I just need to think," she sighed into the phone, "I'll see you in a few."

There was a short silence before I heard her start another call.

"No, I don't need any more jobs," she stated.

I wondered who the next call was to.

"No, just, I need some time off."

Her manager.

"I'm not pregnant," I could almost imagine the roll of her eyes.

I relaxed slightly at that thought.

"Two months," she paused, "I know it's a while, but I need it."

There was a slight argument before it seemed like her manager settled. I heard a slight ruffling before the door swung open revealing her dressed in some jeans and her hoodie. I looked up to the girl in front of me and for a moment she looked so guilty, but in a moment it was gone almost as if there had never been any emotion there at all.

"I'll be right back," she assured, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

"Where are you going?" I wondered.

She shrugged slightly, "Puck'll be here in a few."

She said she needed to think, so I didn't see much more option than to sit on the couch and wait as she left.

}{

Fifteen minutes of trying to focus on the movie between glances at the door, and Funny Girl was starting to get on my nerves. I was about to get my phone, unsure of who exactly I would call, when Noah came in the door. He rushed his guitar case into the room before coming to sit on the couch with me. We were silent for a moment. Finally, when he decided on something to say he slipped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into a hug.

"She's just kind of sensitive about work," he promised.

"Why," I sighed, "It was my fault, not hers, and certainly not yours."

"She's been chewing me out about stuff for years, but she doesn't like the idea that she works too much."

I shook my head furiously, "She doesn't, and it was just one job."

He scratched the back of his head and explained, "Her parents were like that, they worked too much and didn't always have time for her."

"I swear it wasn't too much," I sighed.

"She didn't have to worry about it before you," he shrugged, "But she's going to take it out on herself for a while."

"She really shouldn't," I insisted.

"She will," he assured, "But really, you'll just need to get used to the smell of chocolate."

"Chocolate?" I repeated.

He nodded, "You'll see."

I looked to him, confused, but he didn't seem willing to divulge anymore.

"She made me pancakes," I mumbled guiltily.

"Really?" He grew excited; the previous topic was lost on him.

"There's still some in the microwave," I offered them.

He was off the couch before I could finish the sentence and I just pulled my knees up to my chest.

}{

Thirty more minutes and I was jumping at the sound of the door opening. I would have run into her arms had I not seen the small glowing object hanging from between Santana's lips. "You're back," I greeted.

"It is sort of my place," she pointed out.

"I know," I shrugged, "But you seemed upset."

She shook her head, "'M not." She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a plastic cup, putting a bit of water in it before she tapped the cigarette ashes into it. She sat at the bar next to Noah.

"San," he warned.

"What?" She took a drag.

"Talk to her," he suggested.

She glared before blowing the smoke in his face, "About what?"

He waved the smoke out of his face and pushed his empty plate away before looking to me, "Tell her what you told me."

I moved closer to the bar and suddenly understood what he meant now. The smell of chocolate was obvious as I stood in front of them, "Um, I should have told you about my contract."

She didn't look very convinced.

"I didn't even tell my mom, and Noah just thought it was another show," I went on.

"I still shouldn't have left," she shrugged, her façade faltering a bit as she dropped the cigarette but into the cup, "Even if I you didn't tell me I could have found out after."

"Stop doing that," I pouted, "Stop trying to make this seem like it's your fault." She opened her mouth to say something but I cut her off again, "I was trying to ignore it, and it wouldn't have helped if you, Mom, and Noah had been on my back about what I was going to do after or how I was handling it."

"I wouldn't have-" she started.

"And I should have known that," I sighed, "But I would have still wanted you to go, so that you would be able to spend time with Noah and Beth when she came."

She nodded guilt still over her face.

"Please just don't feel bad," I pleaded, "Because I missed you, and you've been nothing short of amazing the whole time you were gone," I gave a small smile, "And if anything I've been the bad girlfriend, because you announced on national television that we were dating, but I didn't even have enough sense to invite you to my last show."

She moved off of her chair and came over, tugging me into her arms and kissing my head. The playful tone returned to her voice as she nodded, "You do kind of suck for that."

I laughed into her chest, "I'll make it up to you."

"I think you both should make it up to me by making dinner," Noah announced, "I mean especially since I got chewed out and missed a warm breakfast."

"Did you know she can cook?" I looked past her to the boy.

"Yeah," he shrugged, "She just doesn't."

"Exactly, now don't expect that trend to change anytime soon, 'cause I know there's still leftover pizza and take-out in the fridge."

"Agreed."

"Aww," Puck whined.

I pulled Santana down into a gentle kiss and mumbled, low enough that only she would hear, "Thank you for trying to be here for me."

She blushed slightly and nodded.

"But since when do you smoke?"

She shrugged and looked down to the pocket of her hoodie, pulling out the small packet of chocolate cigarillos.

"Since high school. It's whenever she gets upset, though," Noah announced.

"Most people just eat chocolate," I pointed out.

"This is a little more direct."

"Finding another way to mope is definitely on my to-do list," I grabbed the package and prepared to throw them in the trash.

She snatched them out of my hand, "I'm fine with this one." She started pulling out another.

I placed my hand on hers, "For now."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: So, I'm a little self-conscious about this chapter. It's sort of big but I'm worried I didn't do it justice. This one has really just been on my mind for a while, but when I started writing I've just been having a hard time stopping so it got finished pretty quickly. I'm worried I didn't get the emotion right, or do it well enough, but I owe you guys something and I don't think I could redo it any better so, here goes. Thanks to all the readers and reviewers, I really do appreciate when you guys do it. It makes my day and really encourages me to keep going and get things done faster. Not saying I'm quitting, just a quick thank you.**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

The dinner with my mother went smoothly enough, granted, they'd both spent the entire time guilting me about the show over their food. It was enjoyable enough outside of their teasing. When they'd both gotten their fill of teasing and hearing me apologize I went home with Santana. After that, we seemed to fall back into what had become normal for us; spending my days with the raven-haired woman and select nights with my mother. I enjoyed our comfortable pattern of waking up late to find ways of entertaining ourselves, laying in bed wrapped in each other, playing overly violent videogames, and just finding new places in her apartment to laze together. I learned that the comfort couldn't last long.

I'd gone home for a night of movies with my mother. Santana had been less than thrilled bit agreed that neglecting my mother wouldn't be fair. Between the movies and vegan pizza, I was sated through the odd text from my girlfriend telling me of what her and Noah were up to, or even a few pictures of the pillow fort they'd constructed for their night of "bro time," as Noah had put it. It almost made me wonder what the pair would be like when they actually had the excuse of a child around. We'd finished the movies and my mother and I parted ways and I sent Santana and Noah goodnight wishes before making my way to my own lonely bed. I'd never realized how cold my bed was, but as I tried to sleep a nagging in my mind assured me a fitful night.

I woke just a little before noon, cursing the habit she'd instilled in me but still smiling as I saw the name of my girlfriend appear on my phone. We shared the messages as I got up and dressed for the day, or as dressed as I needed to go to her place. My mother had already left so I sat alone on the couch.

Santana: I'm on my way

Rachel: I really can't wait to see you.

Santana: Of course you can't.

Rachel: It is far too early for your ego.

We kept up the exchange of flirty texts for a while and when they stopped I assumed Santana was just busy with something on her way. I fell back onto the couch and watched something on television. I hadn't expected to fall asleep but I eased into the comfort of the seat. At least, I'd expected to wake up in warm arms or to see that I'd only been asleep for a few minutes; instead, I was jolted awake by the repeated blaring of my cell phone.

"San?" I mumbled into the handset.

"Rachel, it's Puck," he sounded anxious.

"Is something wrong, Noah?"

He made an uncertain sound before answering, "It's San."

My blood ran cold.

He didn't wait, "She's in the hospital. There was a car accident and they called me but they wouldn't tell me…"

His voice trailed off as I felt myself shaking. It started off as a subtle buzz but as I registered what the man said it grew. I was shivering and cold and I couldn't see anything warming me up.

"Rachel, are you there?"

I made some sort of noise, a throaty whimper. It was really all I could muster as I fell in on myself, tugging my legs up to my chest and fighting the gasp fighting its way from my chest.

"Rachel, I'm coming to get you, okay?"

I didn't respond, just let the phone fall when he hung up. I didn't know how to feel besides cold and numb. An accident happened. Santana had been in a car accident. I couldn't stop the thoughts from filtering in. Santana had been in a car accident and now she was in the hospital. Noah said she was in the hospital because she'd been in an accident. I didn't know if she was alright, just that she had been in a car accident.

}{

I don't know how long I'd been sitting there; curled in on myself, staring at the television before me, well past it, before Noah finally came. It didn't occur to me how he'd gotten in I just let him drag me along. Down the stairs, to the curb, and into one of those god-awful contraptions where I pressed my face fiercely into his chest. I couldn't even feel the fear I once held, just loathing as he did his best to soothe me, or try. He was talking to me; he'd been speaking the whole time, since he'd gotten into my apartment and even as we finally left that machine.

Faced with the hospital I couldn't help but feel small. Staring up at the grand building, reliving something I truly thought I'd put behind me, and each step closer took me back to a place I didn't want to be. Noah urged me on, his hand on the small of my back. Of course, it wasn't the same hospital, but I still felt the cold chill they all had, the ill sat outside, lives were being given, saved, and ending all in the same building, but only the last really registered to me. As Noah spoke to the nurse, the only thing that brought me out of my silent comparisons of one hospital to another were his assurances that we were Santana's family. I caught the words, "brother-in-law," and "fiancé" before the nurse finally instructed us where to find the woman and gave us our passes.

Noah really had to take charge in this situation. I mostly just clung to his arm as he led me through the maze of halls, open doors, and curtains. It all looked the same; even the visible patients started looking the same; a wheelchair here, a cast there, even crutches or a cane. I couldn't even make out the faces of the nurses and doctors that passed by, they were just forms in scrubs and white coats. Finally, we stopped outside of a curtain and I couldn't quite move any more. I heard Noah's words and felt him pushing me forward but they just weren't really registering, but finally something drew me out of myself.

"Jesus fucking fuck!" A familiar voice cried, "This is my face, not a goddamn home economics project."

"Ms. Lopez, if you don't calm down, I won't be able to finish your stitches," a gentle voice commented.

"I just ate the headrest of a cab driver's seat; excuse me if I'm not ready to start meditating."

"Well, maybe you should've been wearing a seatbelt," the woman suggested.

I interrupted her next attack on the small woman in scrubs by pulling back the curtain.

"Rachel! I'm so sorry, I should have called you," she slipped off the cot, much to the nurse's dismay, "I just thought Puck and then-"

I moved firmly into her, my arms around her waist and my face pressed against her neck as the sobs that had been waiting in my chest burst free. I shook slightly against her, not wanting to let go or move away in fear of losing her too. She just nuzzled my hair and rubbed my back, letting me hold her closely. Her skin was warm and soaked with my anxiety and her shirt was definitely wrinkled where I gripped it at her back. I truly was terrified that if I allowed any space between us she would disappear.

"Ms. Lopez, I must advise against letting her put so much pressure on your injuries," the woman warned.

It hadn't even occurred to me that Santana was hurt, "I'm sorry," I almost whispered, pulling back a bit, although not letting go of the fabric at her sides.

She breathed almost a sigh of relief and leaned down to kiss my hair, "Don't be."

The nurse made a sound of disapproval, "Please just let me finish your nose and I can write you a prescription."

"Fine," Santana groaned, less angry than she'd been earlier.

She sat back on the cot, letting me rest against her side as she let the nurse stitch the injury I'd hardly noticed on the woman's face. Slight bruising circled her nose, and a gash running just along the left side a centimeter below her eye. The stitches made it look far more sinister, but I supposed there was no way around it.

When the doctor finally wrote the note, and allowed us to leave, Santana was more than willing to lead us out. Noah had been silent the whole time, but as he pulled out his phone, ready to call a cab she noticed the tightening of my hold on her, "Hey Puck, I think I've had enough of cabs for the day."

"Oh, right," he nodded apologetically. "So, you didn't tell me, what happened?"

She shrugged and winced, "Just a fender bender. But I didn't have a seatbelt on."

"What's up with the Raggedy Ann thing then?" He asked.

"My favorite sunglasses split, the lens clipped me."

He looked like he had more to say, but as we stepped out of the hospital, the flashing of lights cut us off.

"Hey, Santana, what's up with the new look?

"You got in an accident, right?"

"Were you driving?"

"Was Rachel in the car?"

"Did Noah do that?"

"Did Rachel?"

"Was there really an accident?"

The lights made me dizzy but Santana was definitely upset about them. She groaned and shook her head, urging Noah before us as she ducked her head and blocked the lights with her hand.

"Come on, answer a question!" Some of the paparazzi pleaded.

"A car accident, bumped my nose," she groaned, finally looking to a few.

"Are you worried about scarring?"

Her expression visibly darkened at that, "No." There was a sense of finality about it, and as I saw her face I knew why the journalists back off a bit. I'd never seen that look before and hoped it was never aimed at me.

"Come on, let's go home," Noah offered, pulling Santana under his arm to shield her from those bold enough to continue following us.

"Yeah," she nodded.

}{

"Drop the prescription off, and pick up the stuff on the list," she reminded the tall boy.

"And beer."

"I can't drink beer on the pills," she scowled.

"Yeah, but I'm going to have to listen to you bitch and whine about everything," he pointed out, "And I don't see you sharing your pills to ease my suffering."

"Har har," she scowled, "Just get the damn groceries."

"You don't have to be so bossy," he mumbled as he finally left.

Santana turned around to see me standing in the door way of her room watching her.

"Are you alright?" Her voice was softer as she came to me, taking me into her arms.

I was more aware of her injuries now and avoided squeezing her torso too tight. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?" My voice was so small when I finally had something to say.

"Nah, I'll be fine. Just a little cut and some bruising," she sounded so calm.

I think that upset me the most, my eyes started watering again, "It could have been so much worse."

"But it wasn't," it sounded like a promise.

I shook my head lightly, "It could have."

Santana urged me to the bed and tugged off her shirt, allowing me to see the full extent of her injuries. A large portion of her left torso was colored in with different shades of blue, yellow, and green. As she dropped her pants and slipped into the bed I found myself in her personal space again, yearning to be near her even as I looked down, watching my fingertips brush hesitantly along the pattern.

"It's not as bad as it looks," she mumbled.

I couldn't ignore the flood of thought and images of how much worse it could be.

"And if my prescription's anywhere near as good as what the doctor gave me, I'll probably forget any of this happened," she tried to feel her voice with humor but all I heard was worry.

I shook my head, still not meeting her eyes.

She tried to reassure me, "Rachel, I'm going to be fine."

"But what if you weren't?" It was barely above a whisper.

"What?"

"What would I have done without you? What if you'd-" I broke out into sobs again, almost forgetting not to cling too tightly to her. "San-tana, I do-don't think I c-could have handled los-ing y-you t-t-too," I sobbed into her neck as she pulled me closer, not worrying about her injury.

"You aren't going to," she promised," You won't have to worry about that, okay?" She shushed me and rubbed my back gently trying to calm me. Eventually, I drifted off to somewhere less than peaceful.

}{

_ Faces that I could recognize but didn't entirely remember passed behind my eyelids. People I'd once cherished could have been strangers I'd met on the street but the slim connection we'd begun to build just barely made them more than that. I could feel arms around me, strong arm that promised protection, but soon they were gone, replaced by tender arms assuring me everything would be alright, although they left too. The final pair promised all of that and more, love, happiness, and acceptance, but as these faded nothing replaced them except cold lonely darkness._

_It seemed like so innocent a time, staring happily out a window as houses and streets passed by. The soundtrack to Funny Girl played in the background while adult chatter, that hardly mattered to me but was still pleasing to my young ears, filtered into the backseat. In the few memories I'd accumulated in my short life, this could have been one of my most simply happy ones. It could have been._

_ One minute everything was so calm, and the next everything was falling apart. The strap across my chest hurt as I lurched forward, glass hissed as it shattered, metal screamed as it bent, and two men cried out in horror. My eyes rolled back and once more everything was dark. The only sound was that of a mechanical beeping. Everything hurt and all I wanted was for my daddies to hold me. I didn't know where they were. My eyes cracked and closed again to a bright light. I eased them open to the sight of a particularly familiar shade of brown hair scattered across the white sheets covering me. I couldn't see the face but I looked around the room, it was a light blue color. I realized the beeping had come from one of the many machines I was connected to._

"_Excuse me," my voice was small on its own but after disuse it was tiny._

"_Hmm," the woman mumbled, mousy brown hair shifting on the bed._

"_Excuse me, can you tell me where my daddies are?" I asked politely._

_The woman stiffened, more awake than she was a minute ago, "Rachel."_

"_Are they here?" I asked, growing more concerned._

_She finally lifted her head so I could see her face, dried tear tracks and puffy red eyes tinted somewhat familiar, although aged, features._

"_Who are you? Do you know where my daddies are? I really need them," I persisted, biting my lip nervously._

"_Rachel, sweetie," she started, her voice soft, aside from the grogginess that had been brought along with her tears, "Your daddies aren't here."_

"_Where are they?" I looked around the room worriedly, growing uncomfortable with this woman who looked so much like me._

"_They," she didn't have an answer, not really, there's no good way to tell a child what she had to, "They're in heaven." Even with their different backgrounds both had shared with me their hopes, beliefs, prayers, and faith but my own frankness came from a source, yet, unknown to me. I knew what she was saying, and I suppose I knew it was meant to help, but it didn't._

"_No," I whimpered, pulling my knees up to my chest and even through each ache and pain I rocked myself and sobbed into my knees._

_ The woman could only stand on awkwardly and look on with horror and heartbreak as my young life fell apart. After a while I tired myself out. Falling to my side, still curled up around the hand I hadn't even realized the woman had let me hold. I rested against the pillow, still sniffling as I ran my thumb gently over the heel of her soft palm. I felt her eyes on me but I just kept my own on her hand. It was smaller and lighter than Daddy's but her fingers were longer and more nimble than Dad's. They lacked the smooth calluses and obvious crooks and bends of my more athletic father and the unnatural arch of my more homebound one._

"_Who are you?" I asked when I was certain another sob wouldn't come in its place._

"_Um," I wasn't used to adults being so uncertain but I encouraged her to close her hand around my smaller one, "My name is Shelby, um, Shelby Corcoran."_

_I finally allowed my eyes to wander up to meet hazel ones._

"_I'm your mother," she went on, her voice not much higher than a whisper._

_I wasn't sure how to respond. I'd always been somewhat curious why I'd never had a mommy like the other kids and vaguely fantasized about experiences with one but now I had to pull back from her hand as if she's burned me. A naïve guilt filled me; the thought that maybe if I had been more grateful for them, if I'd appreciated them and been happy without a mommy I could have kept my daddies._

_She looked hurt but pulled her hand onto her lap, "I'm so sorry."_

_I turned my face into the pillow, letting the darkness engulf me again._

}{

I clutched the hot sheets surrounding me. I rolled onto my side pressing my face into the pillow and bringing a hand to my face and finding cold where I'd expected warmth. I opened my eyes and saw that these weren't the sheets of the hospital and I wasn't eight years old, but I was alone. Panic settled over me as I left the bed and went to the door, opening it to find Noah and Santana resting on the couch so I walked over to them. Noah was leaning onto the arm rest, his arm thrown slightly over the girl resting on his side. I reached out to brush her hair away from her and hold her cheek. She looked as peaceful as she always did. The bruising seeming like nothing more than paint waiting to be washed away and the stitches a design to be erased. I hadn't meant to wake her but brown eyes fluttered open.

"Hey, sorry," she smiled as she sat up; rubbing her eye with a fist, "Meant to go back to the room but, stupid pills" Her voice was groggy.

"It's fine," I lied, slipping my hand down to hers.

"'S go lay down," she stood up, swaying slightly on her feet.

I nodded as I steadied her before leading her back to the room.

I rested on her right side, my head on her shoulder inclined towards her neck.

She stroked my arm slowly, obviously struggling for her consciousness, "I'm sorry about our day."

"Don't be silly," I placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder.

"All that matters is that you're alright."

"Rach," she started and I knew I wouldn't care for what she said next, "At the hospital you just looked so," she paused to think back, "Terrified."

I did my best not to cling to her further or loosen my grip since I didn't know exactly what I wanted or how she'd react to either.

"You were holding me like you thought I'd disappear."

Small tears slipped out.

"Rach, did that have something to do with your accidents?"

I shook my head, not in disagreement, but to shake away those thoughts, that nightmare, the pain.

"Rachel," she repeated.

"I don't want to talk about it, Santana," I pulled away, laying on my back and staring at the ceiling.

"Rachel, please I just want-"

"I don't want to talk about it," I snapped but the ferocity left my voice as I whispered, "I thought you weren't going to push me."

"I'm not, I just," she sighed, "I don't know."

"Please, San," I begged.

She nodded weakly and moved behind me, her arm resting over my hip, "Alright."

She gave up and slipped into a darkness of her own, while I was too terrified to face mine again. Instead, I sat up listening to her soft even breaths and fending off thoughts of never hearing that sound again. She'd become so familiar to me. The raspy voice that always, eventually, brought a smile to my face, the soft hands that comforted and caressed me, the warm skin that felt so perfect against my own, and the dark hair that fell so perfectly into her face, over her shoulders, and delicately across my cheeks at times. I don't know when it happened but Santana had become such a fixture in my life that I was clueless as to what I'd without her. Actually, I was terrified.

It was about Six O' Clock when these thoughts became too much. Light trickled through the barrier Santana kept on her window. I couldn't be there any longer. Being so close to her, thinking of losing her, it all made me wonder if I'd be better off without her. If I hadn't fallen for her as I had, hell, if I hadn't met her I wouldn't have to worry about losing her. I slipped out of the bed and tugged the hoodie Noah had given me from the closet, pulling it on. I was almost to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Noah groaned from the kitchen, an unbuttoned dress shirt topped by a tie hanging over his shoulders.

"Home, I'll be right back," it wasn't a lie at the moment, I wasn't entirely sure I'd be staying away.

He leveled me with a glance, "She means a lot to you, right?"

"Yes," I breathed, my hand falling from the knob.

"Then don't," his eyebrows knit together, "Don't forget that she's in this relationship too."

I did my best not to choke with a sob at that. I just nodded and looked down from his gaze although I could still feel it on me. I opened the door and went out, pressing my back to it, as I cried for the umpteenth time. I couldn't let it last long as I had to push myself forward, to the elevator, down the stairs, and home. Cabs weren't an option, buses either and that day, even the subway was not an option. The walk took a couple of hours but as I entered the building I couldn't have been more relieved to find my mother on her way to work.

"Rachel, sweetie, what's going on? Is everything alright?" It took awhile, but she'd grown more certain in her handling of my emotions.

I just shook my head, knowing I couldn't handle speaking about this in the lobby.

She wrapped her arm around my waist, no longer worried about work, and led me upstairs.

}{

Mom came out of the kitchen, two cups of tea in hand, "Just called in, so we have all day."

It was her assuring me that she wouldn't push, but she knew well enough that it would come out in time. I nodded silently.

"What, um," she started, her voice just as uncertain as it was years ago, "What happened?"

"Sh-she, got into an accident," I answered shakily, fighting to hold back the tears.

"Oh sweetie," I hated that term more now than ever.

"Sh-she's f-f-fine, but I j-just c-can't help but worry th-that it c-c-c-" I just couldn't go on past a sob.

"Shush," she urged, putting down her tea and pulling me close, "Don't think like that."

I cried against her chest, "I fell asleep and, just, I saw them."

"Who Rachel?" She urged, rubbing circles in my back.

"Dad and Daddy," I mumbled into her shirt, clutching the fabric tightly, "The accident, I saw it all over again."

She was silent, just pulling me closer until my legs were over her lap.

"It was so real, I was so small and," I sobbed again, almost feeling the seatbelt as my body surged hazardously against it again. I couldn't breathe.

"Rachel, you have to breathe okay?" She pulled me back and gripped my cheeks as she looked into my eyes, "Breathe okay?"

I nodded and let my breathing calm slightly. It took a moment but when I finally calmed down her hands fell to my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" She asked hints of that familiar look of uncertainty on her face.

"Hardly," I smiled weakly, before leaning back with my head on her shoulder. "You were there," I supplied.

"Where sweetie?"

"In the hospital," I whispered. I pulled her hand onto my lap to brush my fingers over her palm, "I was terrified of you."

"Really? I didn't notice," she pointed out sarcastically.

"You were just this strange woman, who looked like me, and my daddies weren't there, and then you were my mommy," my voice lost its strength as I remembered the dream.

"I'm not exactly the second act you were looking forward to."

I shook my head, "I just remember thinking maybe if I hadn't wanted you, if I hadn't been so selfish and just been happy with my daddies, and I could have kept them."

She pulled back, "Rachel," she paused slightly, "Rachel Berry, nobody, and I mean nobody, knows how much you loved those men better than I do. They were your everything, and your world. Nothing you did, not cursing my name, not behaving better than the angel you were, and certainly not never being born would have stopped what happened. Trust me when I say that if it meant I could have never met you, the daughter that has made the last fifteen years of my life so amazing, just so that you could have those two men back then I would do it." She was crying now too.

"I miss them," I sighed as I leaned on her once more, "but I couldn't give you up. I love you so much Mom."

She nodded and rubbed my back, "You probably don't want to hear this now, but that girl, the one you left to wake up on her own, because God knows she isn't awake at this hour, she might love you just as much. Rachel, sweetie, I see the way she looks at you, and I know she's doing her best to get to know you even though I know you aren't exactly about to write a novel."

"Mom," I stopped her.  
>She shook her head, "Just think about it Rachel. What good is walking away from her going to do?"<p>

"I can't lose her too," I whispered, "If something happens to her, I don't want to know."

"Sweetie, you were lucky, you didn't lose her."

"Mom, I just can't-" I stood up, moving towards my bedroom door. She was right. I didn't want to hear it.

"Rachel, she loves you," she pressed.

"I know, and I can't handle that," I cried, going to my room.

She came to the door, and she had more to say, but she took her own advice. She left to her own room. Santana did love me. She had to in order to put up with all of the secrets. I thought I could handle the thought that maybe I loved her too. I thought we'd been so perfect for each other and that our relationship could go so much further, but now, I was terrified by the thought that if I loved her, I could lose her too.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks to all the readers and reviewers, I really do appreciate when you guys do it. I appreciate criticism, it's helpful. Also, I don't know if you guys care, but I'm on Tumblr, and will be posting updates on there too, if any of you want to follow me I'm .com/**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

My bedroom became my own personal fortress from the outside world. With my phone off and my covers rarely below my shoulders, the only things I couldn't hide from were sleep and my mother's disappointed sighs. The dreams faded in my wakefulness, but every time my mom came in my room it left a lasting ache.

"Sweetie, are you awake?" I felt the compression of the bed as she sat down.

I tried to stay still and even my breathing.

"She called," her voice was gentle,"She's really worried."

I rolled over, turning my back to her.

"Rachel, you can't do this. It isn't fair to her."

"Life isn't fair," I whispered into the pillow.

It was silent for a moment, she wanted to say more but it wouldn't have helped. But her sigh, that release of hop hurt. There were so many things to be disappointed in but I knew, even if she wouldn't admit it, some of it was in me. I felt soft fingers brushing my hair for a minute before she got up and left. At least when she was home I could listen to her singing while she cooked, quoting movies she would watch, or taking long phone calls, but during the day she had to work and I couldn't drive myself to do much more than sleep but sleep only brought nightmares. Nightmares of the crushing seatbelt on my torso, waking up in a hospital alone, staring at two cold graves, and eventually just one. The last was particularly disturbing.

}{

I was in the middle of Central Park, near the tree I'd sat by with strangers who'd felt almost like my own friends. I turned from the tree and when I did everything hurt. My breath caught in my chest and my legs buckled beneath me. I settled against the large stone, holding it while tears spilled silently down my cheeks. Then I'd feel something, almost, warm like a hand on my shoulder but when I'd turn away the owner was gone. As I leaned onto the stone again, brushing my hands across the letters forming the name I refused read again, I felt it against; hands ghosting their way over my hips and around my waist and even the breeze lifted the faintest trace of my favorite scent to my nose. When I turned back again, ready to throw my arms around the girl I ached to hold. I only fell to the dirt below me.

Strangled cries left my throat as I pressed my head into my arms. I cried painfully until I let my eyes be drawn, past the blur of my tears, to a familiar caramel skinned figure watching me. Dark hair curled and waved of its own accord in the breeze. Lax posture told of a much happier tale rather than the grim one behind me. My tears dried slightly as I resisted the urge to go over to her and fought every muscle in my body I in order to just sit and watch her. She called me forward, delicate fingers waving me on. I watched that cocky smirk that fit so perfectly tug at her lips and I wanted to go to her so badly it hurt, but I knew it would only hurt more if she disappeared. She held out her hand for me to take but I shook my head. Finally, refusing to be denied, she came to me. I pulled back slightly as her hand ghosted across my cheek and shuddered slightly.

Her hand, she, felt so real. I closed my eyes to savor her soft touch, although terror that she'd be gone drew them open. The haughty smirk fell from her lips and I knew I'd do anything to put it back, except I couldn't. Her hand pulled back hesitantly and everything became less real; her edges fading slowly. I finally reached out and brought her hand back to my cheek. Her other fell to my waist as soft lips came to my forehead. Soon she was gone, and although I could still feel the ghosts of her embraces it didn't change the fact that she was gone.

}{

I woke up shivering and sobbing, alone in my bed. The tingle of fingers remained on my cheek and I couldn't stand it. I rushed to the bathroom, needing to wash myself of longing, guilt, self-loathing, and everything I felt, she'd made me feel, I'd made myself feel. I started with my face. I scrubbed the skin until it matched my puffy, tear stained eyes. But I still felt her hand stroke my cheek and as imaginary fingers fell across my hip, tracing feather-light patterns I turned on the shower, needing to scrape away the feelings.

Scalding water burned my skin but it helped me ignore the featherlike kisses spreading up my neck. I scrubbed a trail following the strong arms the held me tightly. The singe of the rag in my hand kept the gentle touches at bay but only for so long before I was crying again; aching from the inside out. Everything hurt; my skin, my muscles, my throat, my heart. I just couldn't stand it anymore, and I collapsed against the wall of the shower, sliding down until I was curled up on the floor. Rocking myself gently, with no unexpected hand to hold on to, until they were there, surrounding me, familiar curses being whispered around me, and the touches were back with nobody to scrub or burn them away. Then the water was gone, and all I could do was sob into the form that wasn't there.

"Rachel," it was soft, hinted with panic.

I just shook my head as I clung to the form before me.

"Rachel, what're you thinking? That water was like boiling," I shivered as I felt her hands brushing up and down my back.

"You're here," I realized, sobbing into her neck again.

She was silent at first as I shuddered slightly against her, "Yes."

I let her pull a towel over my shoulders and lead me into the room. I wouldn't let her go as we sat on the bed. She was so stiff, even as she continued comforting me, as if she was afraid, but I didn't know of what. I cried mutely against her now soaking chest until I felt myself drifting into the darkness of sleep again. I couldn't keep the whimper from escaping my throat as I clung to her further, not wanting the gentle hand on the small of my back to vanish.

"What were you thinking?" She finally asked her voice was so small.

I didn't have an answer, not a real answer, not one that didn't make me sound crazy.

Her hand stopped on my back, and if it's possible, she grew stiffer against me. "Rachel, I can't do this."

"Do what?" I asked terrified by how weak my voice sounded.

She shook her head, "I can't wait forever for you to tell me what's wrong with you while you leave me to have a mental breakdown."

I felt a new round of tears begin as my weakened voice filled with anger "Why are you here then?"

"To bring back your key," she stated, her own malice becoming apparent.

I wanted to be hurt, I wanted to be angry with her, but I had no right to be.

"I figured since you couldn't break up with me to my face, I wasn't particularly welcome here," she stood up, pulling a single key from her pocket and dropping it on the bed.

I watched her go to the door and had to choke back a sob as her hand brushed the knob, "Please."

Her jaw was clenched as she tried to keep up her anger, "Please what, Rachel? Act like we aren't complete strangers? Act like you didn't have a breakdown when _I_ got in a car accident? Act like I didn't get to wake up alone, when my fucking girlfriend couldn't handle sticking around." Her voice cracked and even without looking up, I knew there were tears in her eyes.

"Please don't go," I asked selfishly.

"Why shouldn't I?" She asked through clenched teeth.

I brought my hand up to wipe my eyes before turning to look at her over my shoulder, "Because every time I close my eyes you disappear and I don't think I could handle it happening in real life."

Her features were set; her eyebrows drawn together in frustration, her lips falling in a dejected scowl, and her jaw clenched as if she were holding something back. The longer I looked, though, the more obvious her own aches and anguish became apparent. She made no sign of acquiescence; she just went to the drawer full of her clothes and headed to the bathroom. I watched her for a moment, trying not to dwell on the thought of her in the other room. I took the opportunity to pull on my own clothes before she came back in the room. I lifted the key she'd dropped on the bed and examined it closely. I didn't get time to settle on the thought of her leaving the key before she came back out in her usual bike shorts and band shirt. It almost felt nostalgic, until she moved around the bed to her own side rather than claiming her own space on mine.

I lay back, facing away from her, not wanting to see the set of her features. I felt her own shift in the bed. It was eerily quiet for some time. Just the sounds of our uneven breathing filling the room. I had too much on my mind to even think of sleep, but as I felt fingers brushing gently over my hip, I couldn't help but jolt forward slightly, unwilling to slip into the darkness again. Her hand slipped hesitantly over my waist as she pulled me back against her tightly.

"I'm here," she reminded quietly, the tenseness of her voice was gone.

I nodded and brushed my fingers the hand at my waist.

With each breath I felt her body relax against mine.

"Rachel," she mumbled into my hair.

I slipped my fingertips gently between hers and squeezed in response.

She sighed lowly, "Tell me about it. When I disappear."

I shook my head slightly, not wanting to recount it.

She nuzzled my hair tenderly and in a voice more vulnerable than I thought I'd ever heard her use she tried again, "Please."

I shuddered at the sound of her request and squeezed her fingers again, "Okay." I breathed slowly for the moment into the empty room, "You weren't there. Not at first. I was just at the park and I went back to the tree we went to with Beth and everyone else."

I felt the shift as she nodded.

"It was just there," I sniveled, "It was so big, and just had your name, and god," my weeping grew, "I don't even know what year you were born," a bitter laugh bubbled up from my throat. She pulled me against her tightly, kissing my head, and encouraging me to go on "It said your name and I couldn't believe it."

She nodded in understanding, "Go on."

"I kept feeling you," I stroked the back of her hand carefully, as if I still expected her to disappear, "your hand on my shoulder, or around my waist, but every time I tried to see you, you just weren't there."

Her hand came up to wipe away the tears she knew would be there and I couldn't help but kiss the palm of her hand before urging it onto my cheek, "I thought I'd completely lost it when I saw you, just smiling." I couldn't help but smile at that thought, "No, smirking, you always smirk. You kept calling me over, but I was terrified you'd vanish again, and you did, oh god Santana, you did."

I finally turned around, crying into her chest again. Her arms were around me, rubbing my back and side comfortingly. Her lips were on my temple and I'm sure I'd have been sobbing fully into her if I hadn't already been so tired out. She shushed me and promised, "I'm here Rach, I promise I'm right here. I'm-" she hesitated, on this part and it worried me, "I'm not going anywhere as long as you want me."

Santana held me for hours, or I held her, well, we held each other until we were certain the other was really there. Fingers ran through my hair and palms followed the lines of my body. All I could do was clutch her shirt until she finally had to pull away from me. Our solitude was disrupted when her phone rang but, for once, she didn't jump to answer it. On the first ring, an instinctive jerk caught my attention. On the second, she looked to her pile of wet clothes. Finally, on the third ring she squeezed me once before relenting her hold on me and I watched he leave to retrieve the phone, obviously glad that it hadn't suffered any damage.

"Yeah, I'm alright," she assured the voice on the other end.

"I got a little caught up," she sighed.

She listened, growing more annoyed, "She's fine too."

She ground her teeth before snapping, failing to keep her voice low as she had been, "I don't fucking need you to come get me."

I heard the slight buzz of the phone now.

"Whatever Puck, I'll be home when I get home," she growled before hanging up and dropping the phone onto the pile and rifling through it until she found a small package. She threw it down with a frustrated groan. She came back to the bed, ready to get back in but paused uncertainly.

"Come here," I held up the cover for her, melting into her as she climbed in.

"He didn't think me coming here was a good idea," she informed.

I nodded slightly against her neck, "I suppose I can understand that." I worried my lip gently as I wondered, "Why did you come, though?"

"Honestly?" She asked, pulling back to look at me.

I nodded, finally noticing the minute changes in her appearance. She did her best to keep her face blank. Her nose showed no signs of the swelling it had and the vivid colors that illustrated her face were now fading yellows that were hardly noticeable in the light. Where scars had been now rested a series of pale scars. They were only made more obvious by the dark surrounding the more anxious than I remembered eyes watching me.

"I came to tell you "fuck you," she shrugged.

I couldn't fight the somewhat cynical smile that tugged at my lips, "Instead you got to drag me out of the shower, halfway out of my mind."

"You've always been a little out of it," she teased half-heartedly.

We both relaxed slightly and I finally took the chance, "I'm sorry."

She waited silently for me to go on.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you, for ignoring you instead, and for letting you wake up on your own. I thought it would be easier if I left," my voice trembled.

"What would be easier, Rachel?" She finally dropped her façade; the hurt she'd been struggling to mask finally coated her face.

I tried to press into her again, nuzzling her neck to hide the tears, but she held me back, meeting my eyes in a painfully intense gaze, "Losing you."

"What?" She looked confused.

"Losing you, Santana, should have been easier if I didn't have to know about it." I shook slightly, feeling cold overtake me with these thoughts.

"Why," she questioned, "Why are you so caught up with this thought that you're going to lose me?"

I shifted uncomfortably under her gaze until I was shaking my head.

"Rachel, you can tell me," her hands cupped my cheeks gently.

I wanted to, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her, not yet. I pressed my forehead to hers, "I'm going to tell you, I promise I will, but I can't right now."

Her brows knit together in irritation and I thought she wasn't going to accept that but as she sighed and nodded I relaxed against her.

I licked my lips hesitantly before dipping down to press them to hers. I can't describe how much I missed it. I almost felt as if I could forget the last few weeks as our lips met tenderly. The kiss ended too soon but I stayed close to her as I finally noticed, "You taste like chocolate."

Her eyebrows knit together again as her expression softened to a pout, "I'm out of cigars."

I frowned at that, "You're still smoking."

She shrugged and Noah's words came back to me; she'd been upset, "Yeah, but he's been making me go in my room since Beth's-"

"Beth's here?" I'd entirely forgotten about the small girl.

She nodded, "She asked about you a couple of times."I dropped my head only for her to bring it up again, "I'm sure she'll forgive you for not being around though."

I worried my lip, "Have you forgiven me?"

She shrugged nonchalantly before the haughty smirk I'd missed so much tugged at her lips, "I might take a little more convincing."

We didn't want to settle into the silence of the room so I put on her movie; I hadn't realized it but it had been the only movie in my DVD player since I'd gotten it. She spent most of the movie criticizing herself, only for me to hush her. For the first time in the last few weeks I hadn't been terrified of the darkness that came with sleep as I drifted off in Santana's arms. It wasn't exactly peaceful but haunting nightmares were replaced by a greatly needed dreamless sleep.

"Oh thank god," a familiar voice sighed, in relief this time, "You have no idea how glad I am that you're back."

Santana hardly seemed to understand my mother's words.'"She's been depressing me and I couldn't tell you over the phone and-"

"Mom," I groaned, watching Santana stare blankly up at the woman. "You might as well be speaking Portuguese."

She hugged slight but smiled as she brushed my hair slightly, "It's nice to see you again, Santana."

"Thank you?" She still sounded confused but had given up trying to understand.

I watched my mom leave the room before letting Santana pull me back into unconsciousness with her.

}{

The next time I woke up I fully expected to be alone. I'd thought the bed would be cold and that it had all just been a dream; so, it was amazing and worrisome when I woke to find her sitting at the edge of the bed, holding her head with her arms on her knees. Tense fingers worked through her messy hair and I wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but as I sat up and reached to touch her shoulder she pulled away and stood up, facing me. She looked as if she weren't entirely sure where she was. When she finally looked at me, I saw uncertainty to an extent that I'd never seen there before.

"San," I whispered, wanting her to come back to me.

She kept her face blank of everything, but that uncertainty was far more etched into her than she could control. "I have to go," she said.

A whimper caught in my throat. "W-will you be back?" I managed not to sob the question.

Understandably, she looked offended at that, she opened her mouth to say something but closed it again. When she seemed to have decided on what to say she started again, "I'll call you."

I forced myself off of the bed and took her hand in mine, "Santana?"

I saw something slip into her eyes, it terrified me. If we weren't in my room I wouldn't wish her gaze were set on anyone else, it was so cold and hurt, and I knew there was more behind it, the girl I'd yearned for and missed, but it was masked by the fierceness she'd placed in front of it. "I have to go Rachel. You know about that, right?"

I couldn't believe she'd said that. I brought my hand over my mouth as I whimpered, "San."

Her eyes softened, but only for a moment, she was the girl who walked me home, who watched musicals she hated with me, and who was more worried about me than herself when she'd been in an accident, but that only lasted so long. Her walls were up again and she repeated, "I'll call you."

There was nothing confident in the way she walked out after she changed. Her shoulders were slumped and her footsteps were unsure. Several times, I watched as she stopped almost as if she were ready to turn back around. She didn't. She kept walking until she was out of the door. I didn't bother to hide as I watched her walk down the hallway; she didn't turn around to see me. It wasn't until the door on the elevator closed that I fell against the wall, cupping my mouth as if that would contain the sobs that wracked my body. My mother carried me into the house and once more I was crying on her.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Really short chapter, but whatever. Thanks to the readers and reviewers, you guys are epic. Sorry about any mistakes.**

**Warnings: I don't own Glee or any of the characters or any of the songs I may use. This will include lesbian sex, maybe some hetero but it's not likely. Possibly Finn bashing.**

Santana did eventually call me. It was well after my mother had fallen asleep and I'd been drifting in and out. I was lying in my bed, hanging on every word, what few I got. It unnerved me how awkward it was. She invited me over, although the indifference in her voice made me uncertain.

Mom was already gone when I finally got ready to leave. I took my time on the walk there, stopping to buy coffee and donuts; more for the sake of stalling than actual need. I got to Santana's apartment at about noon and for a moment just stared at her door. I toyed with the idea of going home but I got a text message.

Santana: You coming?

I knocked on the door, barely making much noise. I wasn't certain anyone heard. That feeling only grew as I heard yelling.

"Kurt, if you move my couch one more godda-"Somebody cut her off.

"Well, if you'd decorated appropriately the first time I wouldn't have to figure out which set up doesn't make me want to throw myself out of the window, so quit acting like the queen bi-" this new voice was cut off as well.

"Stop yelling like idiots, we're going to the park," Noah shouted before heavy footsteps carried him towards me. The swung open and I saw Noah standing there, a confused looking Beth at his side.

If he wasn't happy before, the man was livid when his daughter threw herself at my leg.

She was beaming, "Hi Rachel. I missed you. I thought we were going to play when I came. Why haven't you been here? I think 'Tana has missed you too."

"Hey Beth," I kneeled down to hug her, "We can still play if everyone else is okay with it, and I've missed you and 'Tana too."

"You weren't lying," a pale, well-dressed man said to Santana before he was at my side, "Rachel Berry-Corcoran, I'm Kurt Hummel. I'm sure you hear this all the time but I'm a big fan of yours. I regret not that I didn't get here while you were still doing RENT. I have no Doubt in my mind that you had done Idina herself proud."

"Um, thank you," I gave him a small smile as I stood up and shook the hand he offered.

I took the donuts to the counter before turning around, catching four different pairs of eyes on me.

"Daddy, can Rachel come to the park with us?" Beth asked, still smiling.

He looked like he was going to say no; instead he looked to Santana silently. Her nod was subtle but I saw it and felt a flood of relief.

Beth ran to Santana and grabbed her hand playfully before dragging her to me and repeating the gesture.

"Am I invited too, or are you just going to leave me to suffer by myself?" Kurt asked overdramatically.

"Of course," she chirped.

"Beth, go pack your toys," Noah urged and when the girl ran to his room he looked back to Santana and I as we stood awkwardly next to each other. "Why?" Was all he asked.

Santana made a sound with her teeth, "Because I wanted her here."

He sneered as he looked at me, "What about you?"

"What?" I asked nervously although I knew what he meant.

"Why did you come back here?" He reiterated.

His gaze was nothing like Santana's. Where there was hurt in the girl's, Noah's held only disdain, it didn't scare me nearly as much but it still hurt. "She invited me."

"She shouldn't have," he assured just before Beth came back in the room, a small duffel bag hanging across her chest and brushing her feet.

Noah took the bag and we left.

We went to the park and it made me anxious. Santana knew; I caught her eyes on me a few times. She pulled a sheet from Beth's bag and helped Kurt spread it out. I settled on it with Kurt and Santana while Noah taught Beth how to throw a football. We watched them pass the ball back and forth for a while.

"So, I don't mean to pry but-"

"Then don't," Santana warned the man, pulling a box and a lighter from her pocket.

"But you two don't seem quite as couple-y as the media makes you seem," he waved between us.

Santana sneered as she slipped the cigar between her lips and lit it, "How reliable is the media?"

I worried my lip slight as I watched her. I moved my hand over to hers, barely brushing our fingertips when she pulled away. Her jaw clenched slightly and she moved forward and linked our fingers. Our hands were behind her, out of her line of sight.

Kurt looked us over curiously but I hardly noticed as I kept my eyes trained on Santana.

Beth finally came back to us, claiming she was tired of football. She pulled a blank and white ball from her bag and looked to Santana hopefully. I felt the woman's fingers slip from mine as she followed the girl to play with her and Noah.

"So," Kurt started, "Who did what?"

I looked at him, shock plastered across my features, "What do you mean?"

"Last I heard, you two were like love-sick teenagers and now I'm here to witness it and this is the first I'm seeing of you."

I blushed and looked to my empty hand, "I kind of messed up."

"I'll say," he scoffed and then noticed as my face dropped, "Sorry."

"It's my fault," I sighed.

"Good to know it's not San's fault this time," he assured.

"I haven't seen her like this since high school," he pointed out.

"What do you mean?"

"She's a bitch," he said flatly.

I kind of gaped at him for a moment.

"It's something I accepted about her a long time ago. She always used to be that way but now, well not right now, but she was always so angry. She could cut you with her words if she wanted to," he thought for a second before adding, "If she didn't actually cut you."

I was not entirely shocked to hear that.

"She had plenty of reason to be angry; her parents sucked, her reputation added to everything, her sexuality was a hot-topic, and Brittany was even hotter. Since we got out of high school she's been on a better track, but she's just had a set-back."

"It's my fault," I mumbled.

"Not entirely," he shrugged.

"No, it is."

"I know; I was just trying to be helpful."

I frowned as I watched Santana playing soccer with Noah and Beth. She was dribbling the ball around them and passing it to the young girl. Noah had proven too clumsy to handle it and had been designated the goal keeper.

"Beth wasn't lying when she said San missed you, she's just really bad at emotions. It doesn't help that, from what I gather, you kind of played with them," he nodded.

"I didn't mean to," I sighed, bringing my knees up to my chest.

"Brittany didn't either," he assured, "Doesn't mean Santana didn't end up getting hurt."

"I-I want to make it better," I rested my chin on my knees, watching as Santana played with the ball, showing off to the small girl, "I just don't know how."

It was silent for a moment. Kurt and I just surveyed the antics of the group before us. Santana was really just teasing Noah, keeping the ball from him before passing it to Beth who started doing the same.

"If she let you in, really let you in, and you got to see the girl I've gotten to know since high school, then you'll figure something out." He got up and went to steal the ball from Santana, using a technique that looked far more like dancing than actually playing soccer.

Eventually Beth pulled me into the game as well, although when she did, Santana went out of her way to not bump into me as she had with Noah and Kurt, and Noah sat out. We played for a while longer. Actual sports disintegrated into tag, then into Santana and Noah growing tired and Kurt worrying about sweating out his hair. We headed back to the apartment and hung out. If I forgot that normally Santana and I would be cuddling or flirting, it could have easily felt like just another day with friends. Instead Santana and Noah played video games while Beth sat on my lap and Kurt asked about the cast and my work.

It was getting late when Kurt mentioned a movie. I wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but as everybody else started chatting and moving towards the door I felt anxious. I was going to follow them out when Kurt mumbled something to Santana and she stayed at the door. He gave me a mischievous look and shrugged. She didn't look thrilled but as the door shut she moved towards her room, and I followed her hesitantly. Her room looked exactly as it had the last time I was there, maybe a bit messier, but still the same. She was shuffling the pictures in her portfolio anxiously, right on her dresser where she always kept it. I couldn't even see her eyes in the mirror but I still went to stand next to her, bringing my hand to hers to stop her from reorganizing the photos.

"Kurt thinks he's helping," she mumbled, she smiled bitterly.

"It's sweet," I pointed out, "I'm assuming Noah does too."

She nodded.

"If we're both very honest, Noah might be right though," I pointed out, sliding my hand up to her forearm.

She shook her head at that, "He's not. I- I invited you."

"He's just trying to be a good friend."

Stray hair from her ponytail fell into her face, "Yeah."

"Kind of makes up for the bad girlfriend," I said, playfulness slipping into my voice.

"Yeah," she smiled weakly.

I brought my arm up to her shoulder, "San, I know that we need to talk, but-"

She stiffened under my touch.

I brought my hand to her cheek, "But it can wait."

She relaxed and I moved closer, "We've never been the best at communicating verbally," I urged her to look at me and saw the glossiness in her eyes, "but that's all I want from you right now, just to communicate."

"How?" she whispered,

I stood on my toes and brushed my lips over hers shyly, our lips came together tenderly and I melted into her. I savored that kiss, and it's a good thing, because those immediately following it were anything but.

She pulled me against her tightly. Her breath was ragged and when I met her eyes they were still glistening but steadily growing darker. We moved backwards until my knees met the bed and she urged me on, tearing off my shirt as she slipped between my legs. My bra followed quickly after. Her lips worked fiercely against mine, teeth nipping, and tongue demanding entrance. Her hands claimed my hips and sides as she held me. Her hot mouth made its way down jaw, neck, and chest, marking me and leaving a warm trail I wouldn't allow under any other circumstance. I could only grip her hair as she left each make, taking her time to bite and suck each inch of skin between her as of yet, undetermined destination. I tugged at her shirt and she sat back to pull it off, that being the only say I would have for a while.

It was Santana's turn to speak, and she had plenty to say. She discarded the rest of my clothes quickly, needing to get this all off of her chest. She hated me in that moment. She hated me with such a passion. With her fingers inside me she assured me of her disdain. With each stroke she spoke volumes about how she hated her need for me. Her kisses only echoed her loathing, matching her hatred thrust for thrust. I'd asked her to communicate and she communicated her pent up detestation for me. Her hatred drove me to a bliss I hadn't felt since I realized she was really the one pulling me from the shower and I shattered beneath her.

She spoke to me of possessiveness; hers, to be precise. Her lips maintained left mine as she swallowed each of my cries, denying them to anyone else. She retraced her steps down my jaw, neck, and chest, marking what belonged to her. She claimed me fiercely, over and over. I responded easily, letting her take me as her own, rolling my hips to meet each demand. I wanted to be hers and nobody else's, and maybe that's why I let her know how much I belonged to her; how only she could make my body shudder as she had.

Finally, she apologized to me. Her apology was slower than her hatred and the claim she'd staked on me had been. She fit herself to me, my ankles sliding up and down the backs of her thighs, searching vainly for any other way to bring her closer. Her kisses, placed haphazardly from my lips, to the bruises she'd left haphazardly in her wake, to my cheeks, temple, and to the crown of my head. She begged for my forgiveness and I accepted gladly, moaning into the air how forgiven she was. She was contrite in her slow presses, my body more than willing to absolve her of any guilt. Even when I gave my final pardon I was met with remorseful kisses.

Between her hatred, her possession, and her apologies, no real words were exchanged. Physically, she'd told me everything she needed to say. I understood how I'd hurt her, and how she'd suffered, and I knew we'd actually have to talk at some point, but after taking in what she'd needed to express, I just wanted to rest and I was glad that I got to do it in her arms. She held me, and this time there wasn't fear that the other would leave, or that this wasn't real. This time, we just understood each other. I was content to fall asleep in her arms.

I woke up in a slight haze. I looked around curiously before being met with watchful brown eyes. Her face was blank as she watched me, not even bothering to look away as I caught her. I brought my hand up to cup her cheek and she took that as prompting to pull herself up, brushing her lips carefully over the bruises forming a line from below my left breast to my jaw.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled as her tongue met one.

I smiled at that, "Under different circumstances I might be upset."

"What could possibly warrant me turning your body into a connect the dots picture?" She laughed lowly, moving to the next hickey.

I shrugged, watching her, "You were making a point."

She nodded, still smiling, and I had missed it so much. As she reached the one just under my jaw I slipped my fingers into her hair, bringing her lips to mine. I closed my eyes and let her kiss me, letting her dominate the experience for a while. "I love you," she said with so tacit a tone that I wondered if she said it.

My eyes opened quickly and I was met with hers, seeing the curiosity and uncertainty there and even watched as her walls began coming back up. "You shouldn't," I whispered.

"Why not?" She pulled back slightly.

"Because you don't know me," I drew her back, pressing my forehead to hers.

"But I want to," she nodded, pecking me lips gently, settling at my side.

I smiled sadly and slid my arm around her neck; she pulled me close, and rested her head on my chest. I kissed her head, "I love you too."

I felt her smile into my skin, "I hope you realize I'm going to be excessively needy and bitchy for a while."

"I'd expect as much," I smiled, holding her.

"Um," she looked up to me shyly, "There's something on the nightstand for you."

I was confused to say the least but leaned over and picked up two envelopes. The first was torn open very sloppily. I pulled it out and saw her name on it in fancy script. It was was a wedding invitation. I opened it to read:

_Please join us  
>For a celebration of love, friendship, laughter, and family<br>as  
>Brittany S. Pierce<br>and  
>Arthur Abrams<br>Join their hands in holy matrimony  
>July 20, 2016<br>8 o'clock in the evening  
>St. Luke's Church<br>Lima, Ohio  
>Dinner and desert reception to follow<em>

I turned the card over to see a more playful message. Is dotted with hearts and smiley faces. Even a paw print.

_I know it's kind of weird, and you can't really _

_plan anything from New York, but I have it _

_covered. I just couldn't think of anybody else_

_I'd want to do it. Santana, will you please _

_ please please be my maid of honor?_

"That's mine," she pointed out, taking the letter in hand and reading it over uncertainly. I couldn't help but wonder how many times she'd stared at it like that.

I opened the next one, far more carefully than Santana had done with hers, and slipped the paper out. I read the same information and turned it around, seeing the same cheery scrawl.

_Rachel, you make my Sanny so happy. I know_

_she won't always admit things and she can _

_make some things like emotions difficult, but _

_when she opens up she's worth every headache. _

_I hope you can make it to the wedding and that_

_you'll consider being one of my bridesmaids._

I read it over, until Santana plucked it from between my fingers. She read it over and then rolled her eyes, "She'd have torn me a new one if I'd shown up without you."

"Does that mean you're going?" I brushed her hair gently.

She nodded, placing the papers on my stomach, "Of course, but it'd be a shame if I had to take Puck as my date."

"It would," I nodded, "He doesn't seem much like the tuxedo type."

"You'd be surprised," she shrugged, "But I shouldn't have to take him when I have a perfectly good girlfriend who was also invited to the wedding."

I looked nervously down, reading the location once more. I tried not to dwell on it, but as I nodded and forced a smile onto my face I wondered when I'd have to tell Santana about my past, "You shouldn't, so maybe she should go with you."

"I was hoping she would," she played with her the paper again, "Maybe she wouldn't even mind staying at my parent's house with me."

I paused my hand on her hair, "Your parents?"

"They won't be as tough on you as they are on me," she assured quickly.

"Are you sure you want me to go?" I worried.

She nodded furiously, "So badly. I'll even pay your way."

I blushed, "You don't have to."

"I just really want," she nibbled her lip and shook her head, "I need you to be there." She sat up and held my cheeks tenderly, pecking them gently, "I promise I'm over Brittany, I really am, but this would just be easier if I could look over and see you in whatever tacky dresses Brittany picks out for us."

I smiled at that and nodded, "Alright, I'll go."

She smiled back and hugged me.

"I want to sit next to Rachel on the plane," came Kurt's muted cry from the other side of the door.

Santana groaned and sat up, throwing a pillow at the door.

"So threatening," the man prodded.

She glowered at the door before heading to the door, ready to unlock it.

"San!" I shouted, catching her attention before she opened the door.

"What?" She turned around, an almost childish pout on her face.

"Don't you think you should get dressed before you go out there?" I wondered.

She looked down, shrugging, "If it weren't for the kid, this," she gestured to her body, "Wouldn't have stopped my wrath."

"But it did," Kurt shouted.

Santana glared at the door before going to her dresser to pull on some clothes, she looked back to me, "Are you going to get dressed or am I taking him down on my own?"

I nodded before following her lead.


End file.
